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|Mon, 03-23-2009 - 10:36am|
I'm still digesting Friday's news that I have blocked tubes. Not an easy diagnosis to take, especially since I was kind of counting on a decent HSG so if my one round of IVF doesn't work I still have a shot naturally. But that is unlikely, so my perspective needed to change.
After a weekend of crazy thoughts in my mind, I'm come to this conclusion. I may have only chance at IVF, but it's a better chance that if I didn't have blocked tubes and tried on my own next month. Trying on my own gives me a 5 percent chance, IVF gives me a 30 percent chance. Still no guarantees, but better odds. And I think I might have a pretty good chance at this whole thing. Deep down I knew my elevated FSH wasn't the real problem here... I just knew it.
It's still scary though, to think my journey might end in a month. We will freeze any "leftovers," so to speak, if there are any, but we'll have to save for that process. And although I'm trying to not to get too wrapped up in the outcome of IVF and get my hopes up, it will be hard when dealing with all the daily shots and numerous appointments that I'm trying to hide from anyone and everyone.
I have two baby showers in the next month -- more stress -- and more reasons why I don't want everyone knowing what's going on, including my own mother... whom I usually tell everything, but don't want her asking me a zillion times a day how I feel or what's going on, etc. etc.