Another option...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Another option...
11
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 2:02pm

I like to make things difficult for myself....though I prefer to think of it as gathering all the information before making an informed decision. 

I emailed my IVF clinic to ask why no birth control pills this cycle.  Just my symptoms or over supression? I also asked if I went on bcps with THIS AF could I be at the beginning of the next uptime.  Turns out its only because I said I had negative side effects (crying daily should be expected from IVF patients though, right? lol) and if I wanted to start birth control pills they'd put me at the begining of the November uptime! 

So now I have to decide if I do the natural IUI or start bcps next cycle.  AF hasn't arrived yet so I at least have a few days to decide.

I asked DH and he is as confused as me,  He liked the idea of getting the chance to try IUI one more time but when I mentioned how CLOSE the period dates are that worries him too since he's used to nothing going as planned timing wise with our clinic.  So he said it was up to me.  :smileytongue:

FYI period dates (meaning period must fall between these dates) is September 29th - October 25th.  My AF is due anywhere from tomorrow to Saturday.  Uptime is Nov 5th - December 21st.    Cycling earlier in November MIGHT mean less chance of bad weather but it is Iowa so who knows.  Clinic is a 45 minute drive in good weather. 

Any thoughts or opinions??

Thanks!

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 6:38pm

I don't know if its my dislike for IVF but I think I'm leaning towards the IUI. I've gone from anti-IUI to pro IUI. I've been reading studies of IUI using donor sperm and for my age range the results are great (one showed 77% over 12 cycles for ages 30-34. another stated higher for under 35 but that includes down to aged 18 so i like the one that was more specific on age ranges. again this is using frozen donor sperm not fresh sperm which has a higher success rate.).

I have also found studies that show there is no significant difference of success between using clomid/shots and not when the person ovulates on their own. So I am feeling good about my no drugs option too. Honestly I wish the end of the year wasn't so soon I might try a few more IUIs. Of course after one more with that darn clinic I will probably be ready to be done with it.

So unless I have a change of heart or someone has a good argument for me not to, I think I will do IUI.

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 08-27-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 11:42am

Hmmm, this is a really tough one. If it were me I'd probably do the BCPs and give IVF the best shot at being timed and planned well. I'm sure that opinion is colored by the fact that I did 3 IUIs and none of them worked for me but IVF did.  But I can understand wanting to give the IUI a last shot as well. Good luck!!!

Caryn

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Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 12:12pm

Thanks Caryn!

I am still sticking to my IUI plan. I slept on it and actually I really wish i had more time to do more IUIs this year. I feel like I didn't give it a fair shot because their clinic sucks and I felt it was a huge waste of time but its a lot less time involved than IVF. I figure we will just do it one cycle at a time. See how I feel if this next cycle is BFN. Maybe I will be ready for IVF again. Right now, I don't feel like I am.

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 08-27-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 2:49pm
It sounds like IUI is the right call for you =) I found out a long time ago it's all about searching your own heart to come up with the "right" decision. Wishing you tons of luck on your IUI. Cycle starts soon, yeah? Exciting!

Caryn
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Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 3:05pm
Thanks again Caryn. Yep just waiting for AF to arrive.

If I didn't know any better (as in didnt know about DH's 0 SA) I would be having all sorts of imagined pregnancy symptoms this cycle. But maybe its the weather change.

I've been really tired, boobs hurt more than usual (sometimes they might hurt for a second once or twice in the week before AF but its been pretty constant for the past few days) and my back hurts in a different way. Its both sides on my lower back and usually its one side or the other. But I'm trying not to put any hope into it.

Today is CD24 so AF could arrive as early as today or as late as Saturday and still be 'normal' for me. So we shall see. Still need to definitively pick a donor too.

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:24pm
Oh I had to share what DH said tonight...

So I was telling him about my IPS and he said if I really was pregnant he would NOT be happy and would demand a paternity test. LOL He's joking of course but still too funny! I said 'where do I go without you?' he said 'work' I said 'um yeah...sure' lol

He of course does NOT think I'm pregnant and said maybe its a psychological pregnancy because I want so badly to have HIS baby.

We were also talking about donors and I was saying how I wanted someone as much like him as possible. He said there is NO ONE like him and no one ever will be. That God made him and then broke the mold. "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" said in his best Highlander voice...lol

So yeah..I married a comedian...lol It made me feel better and had to share with someone but no one else knows about the donor sperm!

Oh yeah we also talked about telling our kids because I was saying the one we used last time had dimples and I didn''t want our kid in biology class learning basic genetics and one of the things they always talk about is something like dimples being a dominant trait then have him realize neither parent has dimples...etc...etc. Then he says we should found out when my sister told her oldest that her husband wasnt his dad (she had him as a teen and didnt marry her husband til much later but she was dating him when my nephew was a baby so he remembers him always). I said I didn't know. He said 'well we need to tell him/her before then because that kid is messed up' It sounds mean, but its true. But its good we talked about it bc previously he was against telling them as a child, but was okay with telling them eventually.

So that was my evening.... :smileyhappy: We're considering a brown eyed donor now. He's perfect (as far as donors go) except the brown eyes. I want blue like my DH but since I have brown eyes its more likely our child will have brown eyes regardless since that's dominant but I want the chance for blue eyes like DH. Oh well we shall see...

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 11-13-2011
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 12:37pm
I love your stories about DH and his very sweet & funny ways of cheering you up. It sounds like you two really are perfect for each other and I really hope this IUI brings you the third member of your family. It's so hard to enjoy sharing these cute things when the reason behind them is so personal, and I'm glad I get to be in the know.
You & Caryn are both right about searching your heart and deciding whats best for you, and I, like you, try to keep things one cycle at a time.
I feel you on the IPS. It *must* be the weather because by BBs have been crazy sore (I'm somewhere around cd22) and I have been waking up at night twice to pee. I get upset with myself sometimes because I feel like after all these years I should not still be getting my hopes up, but on the bright side it means I still have hope.
I am sure you will make the right choice about your DS.

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

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Registered: 08-04-2008
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 1:22pm
Thanks for your comments Britty! I love my hubby so much! Just this weekend we went to his parents bc his aunts and cousins were going to be there and one cousin's wife was there but not the cousin. These two just got married this spring. The cousin wasn't there because they needed a 'break'. DH and I both thought (but didnt say) aren't they newlyweds? They do have 2 kids that they had prior to getting married and I know kids adds stress but still. Jeeze. So glad we aren't like that. Also I always like to remember what DH said previously about his decision to use donor sperm. He said he loves our child too much to pass on his condition to him/her. Its only an 8% chance that they'd have it too but that's 8% too much for DH. I think that is a really sweet selfless idea.

Meanwhile on the donor front we found a donor that is 6'8" I think that's freakishly tall and DH thinks 'basketball player' lol Such a goof. He was captian of his basketball team in high school and wants our child to play basketball as well. I told him that there is no gaurantee our kid will want to play basketball or they may have my coordination skills and not be able to. But he seems to think height is a good idea. He's 6' and made it clear he didn't want to pick anyone under 6' so I knew height was a big deal to him but 6'8" seems a bit much. However he does have blue eyes and while he plays sports he also does musicals and plays and played violin. So those are nice pluses for me. :smileyhappy:

As for my IPS they seem to be gone today. This morning I woke up with cramps and thought surely AF had arrived but nothing yet. I think having that shred of hope is definitely a good thing. It's what keeps us going forward.

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 08-27-2008
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 2:12pm
So happy you have your DH on you in this journey! It seems like some women almost face IF alone and I always wonder how they do it. Keeping a sense of humor through all the crap is so important =)

While 6'8" is REALLY tall remember that it will mix with your genes and probably be more on the "just tall" side rather than the "freakishly tall" side *LOL* Sounds like a person with a nice mix of sports and arts interests!

I agree with you on hope...it's the only up on this roller coaster so we might as well enjoy it!

Caryn
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Registered: 08-04-2008
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 2:16pm
Yeah I'm 5' 3 and 3/4" (i usually round up to 5'4" but in this case I will say the actual height) so i would probably shorten him/her quite a bit! :smileyhappy: My mom is 4'10"
DH also said he sounded well rounded. So I guess he's our front runner. Waiting til AF to order. :smileyhappy: Not that I have to I just want to make sure my decision is final. I really wish I had a sketch artist who could draw based on the descriptives they give. lol

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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