When it rains, it pours...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
When it rains, it pours...
8
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 6:51pm

My IVF cycle is currently delayed because the BCPs did not supress ovulation.  I took them for two weeks stopping last Sunday.  They told me to call if I did not get a period by thursday.  Of course, I don't ever get AF when it's supposed to come anymore.  They did bloodwork on Friday which indicated that I had ovulated.  So no stims for me until I get an AF.  When will that be?  I have no flipping idea, but I'm guessing late next week at the earliest if I have my typical LP.

I'm mad at my RE's office because apparently I had a lead follie (about 10mm) at my ultrasound last thursday and they never said anything about it, like maybe I should stay on the bcps longer to dissolve it.  And I had to call them on Friday, 10 minutes before they closed to get my results.  Apparently they are too busy to call me these days.  My RE had already gone for the day without leaving instructions so the nurse had to call him and then call me back.  They now have me taking Estrace twice a day until AF comes to keep me suppressed.  Hopefully, it will work but apparently my ovaries are so awesome they ovulate even on BCPs.  So why am I not pregnant yet, if they work so well? Or they'll probably work too well and I'll end up over supressed.

To top it all off, today I learned that they are posting that job I was up for online.  So I don't think I'm even going to be considered.  It just pisses me off that my supervisor would even talk to me about it if they were just going to look for somebody from outside the company.  Unfortunately, there is some sexism that goes on at my company and they definitely prefer men in the "positions of power".  Plus, they know I'm TTC from when I asked for the IF coverage, so maybe they don't want to give it someone who could be taking maternity leave (not that I'll ever get that lucky).

I've been wallowing in self pity since last week and just can seem to find the bright side in any of this.  I thought once I started the BCPs for my IVF, that things would move right along.  They never told me it was even possible that the pills wouldn't do what they're supposed to, and they made it sound like it was OK if I didn't get AF after because not everyone does.  Only special people get to start stims without having an AF though, and I'm not one of them.  I'm so sick of waiting for things to happen just to have one delay after another. I could just scream.  Why can't I at least have the delays of a just few days?  Why does it always have to be weeks & months?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 10:49pm
Happy to hear you're still up for the job, that's great!!! I'll be doing my AF dance for you...

Caryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 9:05pm
It's nice you have the weekend to get everything prepared. Lots of luck Christina!

I used to try and fight feeling sad about ttc issues. I felt like I was giving in or giving up or being selfish somehow, but I finally figured out that I am healthier when I just take the time to feel the sad. Then I can regroup and either move on or at least fake it till I make it. My thing is to listen to really depressing music. Jason Mraz's Plane, Counting Crows' Color Blind, Sheryl Crow's I Shall Believe and Adele's Someone Like You & Chasing Pavement are my sad songs of choice. Oh and Coldplay's The Scientist and Rufus Wainwright's Hallelujah. Sad sad beautiful music.

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 7:15pm

Thanks for all the support everyone.  I'm done wallowing for now.  Still no AF, but just trying to be patient and optimistic.

Good news on the job front.  I was thinking I wasn't up for the promotion at work because it got posted online, but today my supervisor asked why I hadn't put in for it yet.  I guess I thought if they wanted me for the position they would hve asked me to apply, but whatever.  So, I'm going to put in for it, but I told him I had a few concerns that I wanted to talk over with him.  Of course I was nervous at the moment so I couldn't think of any of them then.  I'm going to put a little list of questions together over the weekend in addition to updating my resume and submitting it to HR.  Wish me luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 12:34am
Just want to post extra encouragement for you here Christina. Sometimes everything is just the pits and its so unfair because you don't deserve it. And boo for the Good Old Boys Club. It's like that here in a lot of places too. I really hope that AF shows soon for you.
more (((((hugs))))) and pt that things will get better and it will all be worth it in the end- even if it is a little farther away that we have planned.

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 10:53pm
I know how frustrating the delays can be. For my IVF cycle I was ready to start stims and then my doctor sprung on me that he thought I should do twelve WEEKS of DHEA before stims. OMG, I thought I was going to flip my noodle. Hopefully when AF shows you can get this show on the road!

Hopefully your boss was just required to post the job online. I know when I worked at a bigger company they had a policy that all jobs were listed that way even if they had the perfect internal candidate in mind.

Sometimes seeing the silver lining or bright side is just impossible. I hope you can make some fun plans to keep time passing until AF gets here...and you certainly deserve for the delays to end here!!!

Caryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 8:18pm

Thanks, Elizabeth.  You could be right about the job.  My supervisor who is the one who originally mentioned the job to me, is out of the office for a few days.  I think I'll just play it cool like I don't even know they've posted it and wait to see if he approaches me about it again.  I'm not even really sure I want it.  I don't know that it pays much more than I make now for all the extra responsiblity it would be.  I probably don't need the extra stress while trying to focus on having a successful IVF.  I already have enough stress going on just waiting for AF.  And DH won't punch me in the Ute to jump start AF no matter how many times I ask. :smileyhappy:

It does look like I'll probably be getting an office though.  My position is supposed to come with an office, but there was only one empty one when I got promoted and I guess they weren't sure if they were going to fill the position of the person it used to belong to or not.  I'm also the only woman in my department, so I think that has contributed to them not being in a hurry to give me an office.  But now that this person is "stepping down"(although I got the impression that they weren't satified with her performance, maybe they're just letting her save face by saying it was her idea.), there will be an extra office. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 8:02pm
Ugh! Sooo frustrating! I hope the estrance works and you'll be back on track soon. :smileysad:

As for your job maybe you can apply for it? I know I had to apply for my job even though I was an internal temp at the time. It had something to do with company policy. They did the same thing when the buyer position opened up that I did not get. :smileytongue: Also there was a college that I applied for a job at and I found out about it online and had an interview that went really well, but ultimately they told me they liked me a lot but they decided to go with someone internal who applied for the position just because they try to hire within if possible. I wondered why they put it online if they did but I think its good that they hire within and still check out their website regularly for job openings. So basically I'm just saying maybe you should apply for it. :smileyhappy:

Good luck with the IVF and the job!

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008