IUI #3

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
IUI #3
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Thu, 09-20-2012 - 11:41am

AF arrived last night.  I am counting today as day 1. I emailed the clinic and told them I started and that if my ovulation cramps were an indication of ovulation this last cycle, I had them on day 11 meaning if I had to guess I will ovulate on day 10 or 11 this time around which is a weekend of course (Sept 29-30).  So I asked what they wanted me to do if I should go ahead and set up an ultrasound for those days or what.  I know the IVF clinic is in its uptime still during that weekend so they have to have an ultrasound person and lab people there for IVF clients so I think it should all be fine but who knows. 

We still haven't picked a donor but at this point it won't ship til Monday regardless since it ships overnight but not weekend delivery and it wouldn't go out today even if I ordered today.  So I just MUST make a decision TONIGHT!

Here is the current status of top 4 choices:

Donor A - 6'8" dude seemed perfect but I somehow missed the page that showed his mother has high blood pressure and luekemia, yet she is listed in good health on another page.  So I think that takes him out of the running despite his good features since health is our #1 priority.

Donor B - Brown eyes.  This is the main reason I didn't use him before, I want a chance at having a blue eyed baby like DH even though its unlikely since I have brown eyes.  Donor seems really healthy and smart but also seems like a major @$$ for lack of a better term.  DH said while reading the profile he wanted to punch the guy.  He listed a favorite food as salad and tofu!?  Whose favorite food is salad and tofu?!  But then when DH got done reading it he said 'this is our guy.  He's conceited but maybe he has reason to be.'  He wrote that he was a gifted child and doing long division at 5 and DH just likes that he's smart.  His grandparents all died in ages 89-95 from strokes or heart attacks.  Other than that clean bill of health.  His parents are 79 and 80 at the time he filled this out so he's an older guy.

Donor C - Irish guy.  We used this one for our previous IUIs.  Great counts.  Clean bill of health on his family but his grandparents are all dead and passed from 'natural causes' in late 70s and 80s which bothered me that he wasn't specific or he didn't know and if he didn't know that what else didn't he know?  Since my grandparents are all alive in 90s or 80s (except paternal grandfather who died in accident way before i was born) to me that is not good even thought they all aren't in the best health.  Also I fear he's ugly, but honestly they could all be really ugly, how would I know?  This guy was a semi-pro baseball player and now works as a team supervisor, we think. They whited out a bunch of his stuff because he obviously put the team or company name and he shouldn't have done that.  So it simply says supervisor.  His answers to the questions make him seem like a really nice guy.

Donor D - Guy we used for IVF. He is CMV positive for the antibody.  With IVF that didn't really matter but with IUI it might even though there are no known cases of contracting CMV from someone with the antibody. But that's still a slight concern.  This guy was our initial photo match from the bank.  We sent pictures of DH and they told us this guy was a good match.  But we initially didn't use him because of CMV status.  He also has curly hair but so do I and dimples and a strong cleft in his chin (we do not have those).  I told DH that in my head I was picturing Corey from Boy Meets World meets Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  lol Everyone in his family is healthy and still alive but oldest grandparent is 76.  This guy is an executive level recruiter.  i don't know what his counts were with IVF but only 5 of my 7 mature eggs fertilized I don't know if that's his fault or mine.  Another nice guy answers wise.

We will probably just buy one vial this time because shipping is *only* $100 and I may change my mind again. lol  If I was really set on one of these guys I would buy more than one. 

Also DH and I were talking last night and he's realizing I really don't want to do IVF again (and this may change) and he is totally okay with me just doing a bunch more IUIs. But I don't know.  Part of me just wants to do another IVF and get it over with but the other part of me is like WHY am I doing IVFs.  No one ever said I had to do IVF.  I wanted to do it even before because I secretly hoped DH would change his mind and provide a sample and there would be at least a few to ICSI. DH said he spoke to the lab about his one sperm when he was telling them not to freeze just one again and he claims they told him if he only had one it likely won't survive the thaw. But that's what I would do it for if we do it again.  Financially the IUIs would be better too assuming it worked in the next 4-5 times.  Otherwise with the cost of sperm after 4-5 more tries it would start being a greater cost than IVF, but DH pointed out that at least I wouldn't have all the drugs and shots.  But then...they never FOUND my ectopic so I don't know if it was in a tube or where it was but if it WAS in the tube could I have a blocked tube now? Do I need another HSG?   Ugh. Then I wonder if financially we should just wait and pay some things down before doing this again since essentially IUI or IVF its all going to a charge card.  So while IVF is 'cheaper' if I do it this year since it needs to be charged is it really cheaper than if we saved up or could at least afford to make larger credit card payments.  So I need to figure it out. 

Regardless we are definitely doing IUI THIS cycle (as long as ultrasound gives us the okay and I don't miss it). 

Here's hoping the 3rd time is a charm!

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:43pm
Hello Day 1 =) I think it is good that you are really listening to your body and brain and heart and going with what feels right. If I had to choose I'd go for donor B because I don't mind jerks, plus I think that being a jerk is nurture>nature. But they all seem good and I am sure whoever you pick will be the right choice for you.

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:57pm

Thanks Britty!!!
I guess jerk is a better word than @$$...lol I originally thought douchebag but didn't think that was appropriate either. lol But you're right, that is definitely nuture. I just hate people who think they are better than everyone else. However, the other two were not picked for their answers either. It helped that I 'liked' them for my side but DH didn't even READ answers before or their food preferences, etc. He said that was all nuture and didn't matter to him. Last night he read...out loud...all 3..gave them comical voices. Gave B a snoody french accent and kept saying how he wanted to punch the computer. lol Then at the end he was like 'he's the one i want' and shut my laptop. I was like what??? I guess smart is good. We're both smart. I was labeled gifted as a child too and did all those special classes and summer programs for gifted kids (a lot of good those did me...). DH also did really well in school too and while some banks list gpa or SAT scores this bank does not. *shrug* I guess brown eyes is in the current lead. Someone different to try at least. :smileyhappy:

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: someday_soon
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 1:37pm
I agree that donor B sounds like a good fit and if DH picked him he can't be bad. Everyone can be an @$$ sometimes and it's hard not to sound a little DBy when writing out a description of all your best attributes =) If your heart says IUI's then IUI's it shall be! Wishing you tons of GL!

Caryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 2:21pm

Thanks Caryn!

I just found out that there is a clinic in my same town that does IUIs! I went ahead and made a consult appointment for October 3rd. This clinic is an OBGYN clinic but has one doctor who does the IUIs and infertility stuff. This clinic is 2 miles from my home and 1 mile from my work (if that...pretty sure I'll be able to see work from the office). This would be sooo much better than the 45 minute drive each way I have now. I can pop in and out for appointments/IUIs and miss little to no work at all. I am seriously considering post poning things but I'm not sure I want to do that. What if I don't like their clinic or if they will require additional testing.

I guess I will give my clinic one last chance but still go to the consult just in case things don't work out. It would also mean giving up IVF for this year.

What prompted my google search into local IUIs was the following email from my clinic when I told them i started my period and how they wanted me to 'predict' my surge. I also said multiple times I wanted a NATURAL IUI. So this reply frustrates and confuses me. I thought the doctor said natural was okay now the nurse is saying this??? I replied back that if the doctor is suggesting a trigger i will do it but I would prefer not to. I also said I wanted the ultrasound to check my lining and confirm ovulation...I won't do "IUI regardless" if the ultrasound doesn't check out. Sigh.  I also emailed a list of the supplements and medications I am taking and asked if they were all okay and there is zero mention of it in this email.  :smileytongue:

"We could schedule an ultrasound in advance. Do you think Friday would be too early? I'm wondering about the possibility of giving you an HCG injection when there's a mature size follicle instead of waiting for LH surge. (We would give HCG with a mature sized follicle and time insemination for about 36 hours later). Since we're going to do ultrasound, that would be information we would have in advance. We could also just wait for LH surge and do ultrasound the day of insemination, although I would hope that it wouldn't be confusing information. If you have an LH surge we would do the IUI regardless of the ultrasound findings."

Is it wrong that this email annoys me so much?

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 7:22pm

So I got another email from the clinic.  Why don't they understand I want to do an ultrasound the DAY OF THE IUI... also I think she's thinking next weekend is too early for me to ovulate.  THIS IS WHY WE MISSED SO MANY CYCLES BEFORE.  

"I think it would be best if we could discuss this over the phone early this coming week. Yes, we do have ultrasound available this coming weekend. It might be best to plan on Sunday, if either day is ok with your cycle, because there is an early home football game on Saturday and we generally try to avoid those days when possible.

I guess it would be up to you if you would plan to go ahead with insemination or not. We don't have a cut-off for lining for insemination cycles, however, we do use 6mm thickness as an ideal for IVF and so the doctors do keep that in mind too for insemination cycles when making recommendations on medication, etc.
I can certainly understand the desire to have everything be ideal prior to using your sample.

The other confusing variable is that if you haven't the LH surge yet, we would be looking too early to make any decisions about whether the lining is adequate. In other words, if the thickness of the uterine lining is 4, but there isn't an LH surge for another 3 days, then the lining would have a minimum of 4-5 days prior to ovulation to change. Insemination isn't quite as precise as IVF (that's an understatement as I'm sure you know!!), and we don't always have the detail.
So I apologize if I've muddied the waters here. The most important thing is yes, let's plan on ultrasound this coming weekend, if that looks best to you for your cycle. We can talk this coming week to figure out the details (when to have u/s, when to go to the lab, etc)."

*knocking head against wall*

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 6:29pm

Congrats on moving forward with your IUI cycle.  I'm confused why the u/s has to be on IUI day?  Won't it be possible for your follicle to rupture that day before the u/s if you've already had an LH surge?  I would think it would be better a day or two before O to see if you have a mature follicle.  I also don't think the trigger shot is bad idea.  Then they could time the IUI more precisely.  If you're O'ing around CD 11, wouldn't it be good to do the u/s on CD 8 or 9, and then have another if needed especially if you're concerned with missing O?  Maybe I'm not following your logic.

I don't have any advice about which donor to pick.  I don't think there is such a thing as the perfect donor.  I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you two.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 7:45pm
Hrmm...Maybe that's why she is confused too. I guess I just want to make sure things look good right before the IUI. I thought she initially said that was fine, now it seems like a big deal. If it ruptures that day then that's actually something I'd like to know. I know they can tell because once I went in and it showed I had JUST ovulated but my lining was really thin so we didn't do the IUI.

I don't want a trigger so looking in advance doesn't matter in my opinion. I plan on testing with OPKs so I shouldn't miss it unless I don't surge. Also since the clinic is 45 minutes away and I have to miss a half day of work if it falls on a weekday I'd rather just miss one day, not two. Thus is another plus for the local clinic but I'd have to wait another month to start there.

I really need to order my DS tomorrow morning...

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 2:15pm
Well the nurse called me today. She understands what I want but said that is hard to coordinate on the weekend. She understands not wanting to miss work 2x. So she said we should just make an ultrasound appointment for Sunday and cancel if I surge before then but if not we can take a look and see whats going on so I wouldn't miss work 2x. I will likely have surged by then so I went ahead. But she said if I have surged there may not be a lab tech there unless I call b4 630am. But I asked 'isn't it an uptime for IVF clinic' and she said yes....so....that leads me to believe lab people will be there. But I guess she can't promise it. So...I guess I will start OPKing tomorrow afternoon. See what happens.

We decided on donor B. I always let DH have last word on who to pick since the sperm is 'his responsibility' and maybe the reason we haven't had been successful yet is because OUR baby is a mix of this donor and me. Who knows? Its worth a shot. :smileyhappy:

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: mrsnetangel
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 7:23pm
Did my first OPK today. I figured it would be negative but since I have been known to ovulate on day 7 I thought I had better double check. Not even a hint of a 2nd line (i'm doing the cheapies til I start getting a 2nd line then i will do smileys too). Its a good thing it was negative too because my sperm shipped out today and wont be there til tomorrow by 430 at the latest. Last time it arrived in the morning but no way I can count on that. So sperm will be there waiting for me when I surge. I'm kinda hoping for Saturday even though I know it will be a pain with a home football game and homecoming (the university's stadium is across the street from the hospitals and clinics). Because I know people who get there at 6am to tailgate....like my DH and his friends have been known to do (but DH found out after doing it once he couldn't do it again painwise but still his friends routinely get there at 6am for afternoon games all.the.time. crazy! I can only imagine that homecoming is 10x as bad).

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
In reply to: shinybritty
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 11:03pm
Good news that there isn't another line yet. I'm already crossing fingers for you =)
When I lived in Colorado I loved tailgating before my yearly Broncos game. 6am is pretty hard core!

Britty  & DH (both 30) TTC since late 2008

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