Your best friend's having a baby

Avatar for m_o_x_i_e
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Your best friend's having a baby
6
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:18am
What would you do? How do you handle it?

My best friend from childhood is now 5 days overdue!! If it hasn't happened to you yet - it probably will soon. How do you fight the "green monster" and take care of yourself?

xoxo Elisabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:42am
I know this is really petty.....but when that happens to me, I usually end up comparing my life to hers and telling myself that I wouldn't want her life anyway...even if I was PG. My main comparison usually revolves around DHs. I tell myself that I wouldn't want to be married to her DH and BE PG....I'd rather be with my own DH and not PG. I love my DH so much and am SO proud of him that this usually snaps me out of it, even if it's just temporarily. (I am human and I do still get the green-eyed monster attacks.)

But isn't that BAD of me? It does seem to help though. I guess it is just a screwed up way of counting your own blessings so to speak. You do what you have to, right? lol!

P.S. I replied to your message to me below. :-)

Avatar for m_o_x_i_e
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:50am
Hi Andrea - whatever works sweetie! No seriously I think it is important to count your blessings. We all have our own difficulties in life - I wouldn't trade my life w/ DH for anything either. I used to be really bad (like in high school I mean) about comparing myself to others but now I try to remember we all have our own path to follow. Of course it can be hard when there's a baby involved but that is how I am trying to see it!!!

When I last saw my childhood friend she was only 6 months pg or so and she was already HUGE. It was great to see her and I can't wait to see what her baby son looks like. But at the same time, I just can't seem to get my act together to get her a baby shower present. I was going to make her a homemade artwork for the nursery and the supplies have just been sitting on my work table for two weeks!!

My best local friend is *also* pregnant... at first I was really nervous about how I would handle it - and I'm sure I will have some tough moments - but I think I will be ok. So happy for them, don't want my envy to ruin that positive feeling.

Sorry to ramble..Elisabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:25pm
It's funny because I am usually NOT one that compares myself to others. I usually just try to count my own blessings and do my own thing and not give a hoot about what anyone else does, says etc. I guess it is a testament to how hard IF is that I have been using this as a coping mechanism.

I am going out with my PG friend tonight, so maybe I am honing the coping skills already today. lol! Plus, I agreed to give her a baby shower. I must be either sadomasochistic or a saint....not sure which. ;-)

I do agree that everyone has their own journey and this is just 'our thing.' I guess it's not too bad compared to what some other people have to go through. I mean it's not a life or death situation which is the choice that alot of the people in the world are dealing with every day. Not that it makes it any easier but I do sometimes try to put it all in perspective (I mean those few days a month when I'm not completely irrational. lol!)



I agree about the Dh's. I wouldn't trade mine for 10 babies. :-)

Avatar for m_o_x_i_e
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:55pm
I think you're just a good friend! I hope that having the baby shower turns out to be fun and not stressful - on the plus side, by being the hostess, you'll be pretty busy so you always have an excuse to leave the room if you've heard one delivery story too many! ;)

It is definitely good to keep things in perspective, I agree. Easier said than done some days. I actually haven't had a really bad day in a long time. I saw a marriage & family counselor for several weeks and that really helped me tons. I think I worked out all my "issues" for the most part!!!

Oh - the other day we were around a very pregnant lady and I just whispered to Dh, "being around pg ladies is very good luck!". That's how I am trying to think of it now. Think of all the baby dust you get having pg friends. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:14pm
Yeah, I told her I was going to start hanging out with her more and maybe PG would rub off on me. lol!

She doesn't know we are trying and the difficulty we are having so it's a little tough sometimes. Maybe I will fill her in soon.


I think this is my time for dealing with my issues. I seem to be doing that around here these days, don't I? :-)




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 6:36pm
I was often the friend who swore she wouldn't have a baby until ........and the list kept changing, but, there was always a list. This year, with my and my fiances families all bugging us when will we have a baby....i said NO BABIES TILL A YEAR AFTER THE WEDDING. well. we are not even married yet, and i do not even WANT a wedding. Jason and I are already as married as married can be, and yes, state law even says we are married. So, I am thinking, lets try and have a baby! The green-eyed monster has definatly attacked me. Last year my best friend and her husband had baby #1, this year his best friend and my other best friend got preggo (she was due thursday, still waiting for her to make an appearance!) my best friend is now 5 mo preggo with baby #2. not to mention my boss, 4 out of 10 girls that work for me. and those who are not, have very young babies at home who come to visit all the time. I work in retail and it seems every other person comming in the door is expecting or has a munchkin. Jason said he doesn't want a kid now, but today as I watched maternity ward, he looked at me and said, you really want a baby, huh?" not in his usually snippy way, but....amused and thinking about it. But now that I am seriously thinking about it. Do I want to jump in that lake? am i just jealous? is it envy? Is it because everyone else has and i don't? I don't think so. I think I just want to talk myself out of it b/c i live so far from my mom and dad, and don't want to deprive them of their first grandchild. Ugh...i guess it is up to jason