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|Fri, 12-20-2013 - 4:25am|
I just need to vent. My husband & I recently decided to try to start a family. My periods have always been regular which I hope is a good sign that I ovulate normally. Well, I have been on one AD or another for about the past 5 or 6 years mainly due to a lot of situational depression - life was a roller coaster, I was trying to finish my degree etc. Anyway, life has smoothed out a bit - we've lived in the same place for a couple of years, I finished my degree etc.
The first hump to get over was recovering from withdrawal from the AD I have been on for the past year & a 1/2 or 2 - Effexor. Horrible, horrible drug. Don't ever even consider it. While the physical withdrawal symptoms went away surprisingly quickly, I am STILL having some pretty severe mood swings. They are worse before my period & I've suspected for awhile & told by my mother that other women in my family have suffered from PMDD. So I did some research & am taking Chasteberry (vitex) which also helps regulate pretty much everything female - a plus. I am also taking a magnesium supplement drink mix called Natural Calm. And, last but not least, a prenatal vit.
Anyway, I don't know if it's just my being off the AD but I am getting really bummed every month when I get my period. My brother in law & his wife just announced their 2nd, & I hate to say while I was happy, I was bummed at that too. I am worried I waited too long (I'm 33), I'm worried I'm too fat (over 200), I'm just plain worried! Now, the reality is, we haven't been seriously trying all that long so I know that I should just calm down - which may actually help us conceive. But this is hard to do when you don't have your calm little pill every day!!
Well, I had to get that out. I haven't really talked to anyone about TTC because I don't want to be embarrassed if it doesn't happen.
*On a side note/question: Before I came off my little happy pill I went for a pap because my period was really light one month. I realize that doesn't sound like anything, but believe me when I say, my periods were ALWAYS the same pattern every month - I'd have a day or so of brown discharge, then 2 days of fairly heavy bleeding followed by 3 or 4 days of tapering off. My pap came back normal though, & that's one of the reasons I decided it was as good a time as any to start TTC. Just, still...they're not the same. This month I've had 3 days now of brown discharge & spotting, which I wondered/hoped could be implantation bleeding or something but it is starting to flow today so I think I'm not preg :-( I worried with a lighter period I could be going through an early menopause. My mom did, but not quite this early. I'm not having any other menopausal symptoms though. Geeeeez, I'm a basketcase! Somebody please help!