New here, need a place to figure out some things...
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|Tue, 09-27-2011 - 9:02pm|
Hi all :) I'm new here but have been tossing around the idea of TL reversal for a bit now. I'm 26 (will be 27 in less than a week...yay). I had my TL in 4/08 while I was in an abusive marriage after a traumatic abortion. Needless to say I "thought" I had thought it through very well....now I'm not so sure.
I'm at a great point in my life, with the man of my dreams (as stupid as that sounds) and getting more confused by the day. I used to be "solid" in my childfree by choice decision. I mean, I really love my life. I enjoy being able to go anywhere and do anything without having to arrange a babysitter; stay up as late as I want or need to; watch whatever on the television without having to worry about precious little ears; listen to music as loud as I want in the car; go to places on a whim late at night; let's face it our sex life is fantastic. lol I really don't want to give any of these wonderful things up for a stinky, smelly little monster... ewwww :)
But then I see how my DB is with kids, and I start WONDERING..... he's on board with the "no kids" plan. We've had long talks about how if we changed our minds along the way we could adopt... I'm not going to get into why I feel afraid of that option now on this board.
Anyway: now my cousin just had her first child and while looking at the pictures I caught myself thinking, "I wish I could have my own" and it scared me. I'm starting to get oogly at babies in the grocery store when a couple years ago I ignored them altogether due to my personal trauma.
My problem here is my family, my ENTIRE family thinks that having my TL was the best decision ever. They don't want me to have kids because I have health problems (migraines, asthma, etc) and they think I made the "best choice EVER" by getting the TL. I can't even discuss a reversal with them because they call me crazy. :( I don't even know how to approach it with DB even though we HAVE talked about it before.... simply because I feel like I'm not sure what I myself want...so how can I even talk to HIM if I don't know what I want to really discuss?
I'm going through a health thing right now with my gyno...it's nothing now, they think it's a simple ovarian cyst that will go away with my period.... but when I had the first symptoms I caught myself hoping I might be pregnant. Stupid and silly I know because it would be impossible...it would be ectopic if anything. But I caught myself hoping.
I am so confused. I'm sorry I completely rambled!!! Thank you for listening (reading..haha!) I hope I can find some clarity... I think I know what I want but am afraid to admit it.