Where is everyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2009
Where is everyone?
Fri, 09-27-2013 - 1:56pm

I used to frequent this boardalmost 5 years ago and back then it had daily posts. It seems like when I check in on things now, there's hardly a post in weeks! I was mostly a lurker back then but I realize that if everyone just lurks then there is nothing to look at Wink. So I am hoping we can spark a renewed interest in this board by everyone sharing their stories (background, where you are in your journey, how you are feeling about it, etc) - I'll start!

DH is 35, I'm 32. I have no kids and DH had a vasectomy during his previous marriage after his first child was born (his now ex-wife had a daughter from a previous relationship, so they felt like they were done at 2 kids). DH and I were married in 2007 and had his vasectomy reversed in February of 2009 by Dr. Wilson in Oklahoma. In the past 4 and a hlf years since the VR we haven't been able to concieve at all. His SA 8 months post surgery showed around 10 million total motile, for the first year after the VR we tried everything when TTC, charting, vitamins, preseed, instead cups, etc. - but everytime AF showed I would just end up in tears. I decided to put it out of my mind, so I stopped charting and we just went on with life, I decided this last February (since we hit the official 4 year mark) to see an RE, during that workup we found that everything is mostly (I have one tube that's abnormally wide, but the dye during the HSG still spilled out my ovary so the RE thinks it's ok) fine with me, but DH's SA was even lower with only 3 million total motile Frown - so the RE recommended we go straight to IVF. We are not financially ready for IVF though, so now I just feel like we are in limbo now. I have read a book written by Dr. Silber (back in 2009 when I was on this board a few of the ladies DH's had used him for their VR) called "How to Get Pregnant" and he talks about how for many unsuccessful reversals a repeat reversal can usually resolve the problem. So with this in mind I contacted Dr. Wilson to see if he would be willing to do a repeat reversal and I have to say I felt like he was underwhelmingly helpful, almost to the point where he was downright rude. He told me a repeat reversal was not necessary since there were live sperm present and that I should do IUI, when I told him that the RE would not do IUI, he just told me that they've seen successful pregnancies with less than 10 million sperm. I ended up feeling like he was yet another person who treated me like I was stupid for not being able to "just get pregnant" and it also seemed to me that since I wasn't helping his stats I was not someone he was interested in helping. So that really took the wind out of my sails and I feel pretty defeated with the whole thing once again, I did contact Dr. Leverett in Texas and they requested the two SA results that we have, I have yet to send it because I just don't know if a repeat reversal is worth investing in. I feel almost paralized by the past 4 years of disappoinment and I don't want to make any decisions, but on the other hand I have such an aching in my heart to have a child that I constantly feel like I should be "doing something" to advance the process. I just don't know what to do or how to deal with this. Any advice or comments? I just wish someone would hand me a guidebook on how to proceed!

Sorry for the novel, but hopefully it will encourage some of you to post your stories too!

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 3:27pm

Hi kmk, it's nice to see you back on the board!  I hope that your post draws out some lurkers as well :)

I'm sorry that Dr Wilson wasn't more helpful.  It's such a hard choice to make, whether to invest in a repeat reversal or IUI, or just save up for IVF.  Why wasn't your RE willing to do IUI?  How long will it take you to save up the money for IVF?