Am I just naive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Am I just naive?
14
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 5:03pm

I keep getting stunned responses from people when I say I'm not finding out the gender.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 5:45pm
I don´t think so. Unless you really want a gender specific nursery and such, I think waiting to find out is perfectly ok. Hey, I found out and still bought most stuff gender neutral for the sake of his future little sisters.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:00pm
I think most people operate by the "more info is better" philosophy and I guess they think that knowing ahead of time will help you prepare more? It's almost like some people even feel inconvenienced by having to pick out gender neutral presents or something. My thought is, if you don't care, why should they? I'm not finding out either. And like Mari said, it's good to have gender neutral stuff anyway for any future children you may have.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:32pm

No you aren't naive. In other countries all over the world, and everywhere until about 10 years ago, it was a surprise every single time, and we made it as a species.

I think now so many people find out that it is shocking for some people when other people don't want to--but I know PLENTY of people who waited and who will wait on future children. Some people love the surprise at the end and I think it is worth waiting for.

Personally there is no WAY I could wait, but I would call you "strong" rather than brave, LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:36pm
Honestly half of Jensen's hand me downs were from my niece. I guess there is stuff out there like teepee's for the boys during diaper changes but we don't use anything. If it's a boy you learn how to do a thorough change fast. Other then that, babies really don't need or care about gender things. In a recent study children under 5 tend to play with toys and things of their own gender (girls liked the baby dolls, boys wanted the trucks) but infant toys are pretty gender neutral too. What do people think we did before ultrasound technology? People are so silly sometimes.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 8:23pm

It's funny you say that, because I get really strange looks when I say I *AM* finding out the gender! I think people just think there is one way (their way) to do things, and any other way is plain wrong.

I can't imagine anything that will come up where you'll really wish you found out the gender ahead of time. Even if you knew boy/girl, it's not like boys only have certain traits and girls have others.

Seems weird! Try not to let it get to you - I feel like the parenting judgments are just beginning :S





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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 8:32pm
It seems to be people's favorite thing to comment on - and, like Alyssa, I got all kinds of negative reactions when I would tell people we knew it was a girl. I got a lot of "you cheated!". THANKS! It doesn't seem to matter what you do, people have all kinds of opinions!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 9:47pm

I think I'm the first Green Teamer responder on this thread but the other ladies said everything right. Gender neutral stuff is way more practical if you choose to have future children and despite what people say, there is PLENTY of it to find in the stores. You'll get gender specific baby gifts after the wee one gets here anyway.

Preparation for a sex-specific baby? Meh...I dont think there is a great deal of difference between caring for a girl vs a boy that needs significant prep ahead of time...a lot of it really is instinct and on the job training. People are strange.

As a Green Teamer, I LOVED waiting. It was so fun to dream and anticipate the sex of our child. It didnt lessen the bond I felt during my pregnancy by waiting and my DH was even more excited about finding out. And in the delivery room, it was even more amazing after my (very arduous) labor and delivery to get the surprise revealed...all moms get the beautiful prize at the end but as a green teamer, its just a little something more to not only find out the sex but also name the baby right then and there after all that hard work. Plus my DH was the one to say "its a boy" to me after he was born. Extra incentive for us and neither me or my DH regret waiting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:31am
That's crazy. I didn't find out any of the three times I've been PG and loved every minute of it. I got a lot of responses about being "patient" etc. But I just love the surprise at the birth, there's nothing else like it really. I liked having gender neutral things that could be used for younger siblings (although in my case it wouldn't have mattered!) I got a little sick of dressing DD #1 in yellow ducks, lol, but so many people bought her clothes after she was born that didn't last long. I don't really see what you would need to "prepare" for as far as doing something differently with a boy or girl. Other than deciding on if you're going to circ. or not? What else is there?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 8:12am

We're green team too, and it's been crazy the people who have told us that we're crazy or just flat out said that it wasn't fair to them that we wouldn't find out. Frankly, I don't care that my boss wants to know so badly.

As for gender neutrality, I'm all for using my cousin's hand-me-downs, even if most of them are blue (he'll be a year old in September). If it's a girl, I'll stick a blue bow on her head.

You aren't crazy, Leona! :)

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by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 11:22am

Thanks, ladies.

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