Am I just naive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Am I just naive?
14
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 5:03pm

I keep getting stunned responses from people when I say I'm not finding out the gender.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 1:45pm
I'm getting in on this a little late, but I think a lot of it tends to be a generational thing. We live in an age where technology can do so much for us, a lot of the younger folk think it's silly not to take advantage of it. My DH is 12 years older than me, and most of his friends were very surprised that we were going to find out the sex. We got a lot of "Really??? You can't do that, you'll ruin the surprise!" But these people had their kids 10-15 years ago when finding out the sex was possible but still not something most people did. My friends, however, all couldn't wait to find out. LOL.
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Avatar for sandyc299
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 12:00pm
I also call you strong rather than brave. If I could have found out the gender the day I took that pregnancy test, I would have. I am glad I didn't live in the day before we could find out the gender. I also plan on finding out the gender for my next one. My husband really wanted to know as if we didn't have a boy his namesake wouldn't live on. Now it will. So I think that was a good part of it there. I do agree if we have a girl next time we'll have to get girl clothes and have to change the bedroom color (as my son will probably move into our guest bedroom).
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David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

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Registered: 05-11-2010
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 1:14pm
LOL! I love the vision of Gideon sword fighting with his pink barbie bracelet on. I bet he won. Hehehe
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:04pm
There is no medical reason that you would need to know the sex. Yes there are some medical problems that are linked to the sex, such as hemophilia for boys or turner's syndrome for girls, but not knowing the sex during pregnancy would not effect the pregnancy.
I found out with both pregnancies because I'm a planner, but all of our major baby items are gender neutral because we knew we'd have other children. Knowing now that I had 2 boys that wouldn't have mattered, I still wouldn't have go back and bought all "boy" stuff. The only thing we have the is really gender specific are clothes and shoes. The toys we have we would use for a boy or girl. Sure we have trucks and cars, but we have a play kitchen and dolls too. He plays with all of them. The thing that actually bothers me with gender specific stuff is that the companies think that only girls should be playing with kitchens and houses and make them pink. I don't like pink, yuck;) G doesn't care. Last night he was walking around with a pink barbie bracelet and barbie purse and then ran off later to sword fight.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 11:22am

Thanks, ladies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 8:12am

We're green team too, and it's been crazy the people who have told us that we're crazy or just flat out said that it wasn't fair to them that we wouldn't find out. Frankly, I don't care that my boss wants to know so badly.

As for gender neutrality, I'm all for using my cousin's hand-me-downs, even if most of them are blue (he'll be a year old in September). If it's a girl, I'll stick a blue bow on her head.

You aren't crazy, Leona! :)

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by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:31am
That's crazy. I didn't find out any of the three times I've been PG and loved every minute of it. I got a lot of responses about being "patient" etc. But I just love the surprise at the birth, there's nothing else like it really. I liked having gender neutral things that could be used for younger siblings (although in my case it wouldn't have mattered!) I got a little sick of dressing DD #1 in yellow ducks, lol, but so many people bought her clothes after she was born that didn't last long. I don't really see what you would need to "prepare" for as far as doing something differently with a boy or girl. Other than deciding on if you're going to circ. or not? What else is there?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 9:47pm

I think I'm the first Green Teamer responder on this thread but the other ladies said everything right. Gender neutral stuff is way more practical if you choose to have future children and despite what people say, there is PLENTY of it to find in the stores. You'll get gender specific baby gifts after the wee one gets here anyway.

Preparation for a sex-specific baby? Meh...I dont think there is a great deal of difference between caring for a girl vs a boy that needs significant prep ahead of time...a lot of it really is instinct and on the job training. People are strange.

As a Green Teamer, I LOVED waiting. It was so fun to dream and anticipate the sex of our child. It didnt lessen the bond I felt during my pregnancy by waiting and my DH was even more excited about finding out. And in the delivery room, it was even more amazing after my (very arduous) labor and delivery to get the surprise revealed...all moms get the beautiful prize at the end but as a green teamer, its just a little something more to not only find out the sex but also name the baby right then and there after all that hard work. Plus my DH was the one to say "its a boy" to me after he was born. Extra incentive for us and neither me or my DH regret waiting.

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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 8:32pm
It seems to be people's favorite thing to comment on - and, like Alyssa, I got all kinds of negative reactions when I would tell people we knew it was a girl. I got a lot of "you cheated!". THANKS! It doesn't seem to matter what you do, people have all kinds of opinions!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 8:23pm

It's funny you say that, because I get really strange looks when I say I *AM* finding out the gender! I think people just think there is one way (their way) to do things, and any other way is plain wrong.

I can't imagine anything that will come up where you'll really wish you found out the gender ahead of time. Even if you knew boy/girl, it's not like boys only have certain traits and girls have others.

Seems weird! Try not to let it get to you - I feel like the parenting judgments are just beginning :S





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