David Nicholas 12/5/09Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13
"I especially liked this excerpt: "Probably one of the main reasons that night-waking babies are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. We are bombarded with magazine articles and books that perpetuate the myth that babies should not have nighttime needs. Babies were designed to wake up often at night to feed and cuddle-- keep in mind that many adults wake during the night, too. If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear.""
YES. YES YES YES. I (obviously :) think this is SO true. Once I let go of my high expectations for Eliza's sleep and night-wakings, I felt soooo much better!
OMG girls, this thread is exploding!
Ash - Oh no! You've got a car seat hater, too??? I definitely feel your pain - there is nothing easy about that situation. I'm so sorry! But, I'm happy to hear that Teddy is starting to come out of his colicy newborn phase! You have such a positive attitude and seem soooo patient, what a good mama. Even though it sounds like it's slow going, before you know it he will be a happy 6 month old laughing away :) How wonderful that your mom was with you for almost 3 weeks. I bet you miss her already... will you be visiting her soon?
Mari - How neat that you're getting so much enjoyment out of your new work project. I wish I enjoyed my job (well, school) that much. Good luck introducing solids, it's so much fun!!
Christine - Eliza normally goes to sleep between 7:00 and 7:30. We start our bedtime routine at 6:30 with singing and then bath time and then I nurse her to sleep. We didn't start this routine until she was about 4 months old; before then she was going to bed pretty much when we did around 9:30 or 10:00...but she was so fussy at night, she was needing a nap around 7:00 or so... and that just eventually turned into her bed time -- well, more specifically we purposely *tried* to turn that into her bed time by beginning our nightly routine, and it worked - she just slept on through. She usually wakes up around 11:00pm to nurse, and then anywhere from 1-3 more times per night after that (though she doesn't need to nurse every time, sometimes she just needs to be flipped to her back/tummy/side). That was probably more than you even wanted to know... but there you go! LOL!
Cheryl - Did you have a nice time at your niece's dance recital tonight? How did Lucas like staying with your MIL?
Ruby - It sounds like Maxim is definitely in that needy newborn phase - that can be hard on mama! I feel like Eliza is still in a needy phase to this day in some ways - ha! I'm sure you've gotten plenty of advice, but have you tried a sling or a wrap of some kind? That was my lifesaver when Eliza was that age - it kept her close to mom, but mom's hands were free to wash dishes and type on the computer :) Also, I second what Ash said, just try to set yourself up on the couch with the remote, your water, a book, etc...and *try* not to worry about not getting anything done (easier said than done, I realize!), and just catch up on TV and movies. This is your time to just nurse and cuddle your babe. It will pass quickly. I already miss that quiet time on the couch! Eliza doesn't have time for it anymore, she has places to go, people to see...!!!
Cassie - I'm sorry your DH didn't get the job he interviewed for, what a bummer. Does he have any other interviews? I hope he finds something, I know how stressful job hunting is... and especially when he is trying to finish his degree at the same time.
AFM - we're driving to the cabin tomorrow morning, hoping to time the drive with Eliza's morning nap so she'll sleep in the car. We shall see... We switched her to a convertible car seat recently, and she still doesn't seem to tolerate being in the car any more than she used to. I had hoped that getting her out of the infant bucket seat would do the trick, but alas... it didn't. *sigh*
Hope everyone has a nice weekend!
"I have tons of hats for her already and know it's too early to use sunscreen, right?"
I forgot to say this in my post... our ped told us not to use a sunscreen (chemical) product, but to use a physical sunblock instead - just like lifeguards wear, hehehe. I think Alba and California Baby make one.
Heather - Thanks for the info. I just PM'd you. I think I'm going to try a sippy cup soon. I'm hoping maybe she'll take milk cold from it but we'll see. My MIL keeps not-so-subtly reminding me that she needs to start taking a bottle. Ugh, in-laws!
Mari - Congrats to your SIL! So exciting that Fede will have a cousin close in age. Let us know how the introduction to solids goes!
Ella - I think while DH is overseas I might try moving up Selin's bedtime. She usually gets sleepy between 6-7 but as that is also the same time we eat dinner, she usually stays up and then I start getting her ready for bed after we've eaten dinner. Currently, she gets her bath during the day but I should also move that to nighttime since when I go back to work, it will have to be given at night anyway. Have a great time up at the cabin! Hope Eliza cooperates in the car. :-)
Ruby - I second what Ella said about the "couch days". I remember DH and I watching series after series of our favorite shows at nighttime while Selin snoozed between feedings. It definitely helps to have all your essentials nearby, even now when I nurse Selin on the couch, I make sure I have my water nearby because once she falls asleep, I hate to wake her up to have to go retrieve my water from the kitchen.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
I agree that babies are all different and that sleep expectations can be way too high. But I also think the sleep like many things is a skill and that some babies need help learning it.
Not all mamas can do the whole waking up 6 times a night for at least half an hour for 2 years or some other things I have heard on the nets. I have total respect for the mothers who can go so long without good sleep, but I know for me I am really hurting. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and I know the days I am most depressed, are the days when I got about 2 hours of sleep the night before.
Babies need sleep even more then we as adults do and I know that we get the most smiles and fun when Theo is completely well rested- there aren't a lot of smiles or cuddles going on when he is overtired!
So yeah I don't know what the point of that ramble was... maybe that I think it is OK to want to have a baby that sleeps 16-18 hours in a 24 hour time period, and that I think it is OK to try to teach them how to sleep well, especially since some babies need a lot more help on this then others. I don't think I could do hardcore CIO but I also don't think it is a form of abuse because frankly Teddy cries more in a normal night in our arms then he would if we let him cry in his room for 45 minutes.
Speaking of which- Christine send your hubby over to our house and he will come back so appreciative of how little Selin cries and what a good job you are doing!! :D
"So how many kids is "several"? :-)"
I want to have at least four--ideally two that are closely spaced (18 months-2 years), and then a longer break (3-4 years) and then two more that are closely spaced.
Depending on how I feel after that, though, I might want to keep going. I guess I really want six or so, but we'll see how old we are, the family dynamics, how we feel, etc, after four and decide from there if we want to try for more.