BTDT- advice on labor & delivery

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
BTDT- advice on labor & delivery
4
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 3:14pm

I truly want a natural birth. Mostly because I want to do it the way women did it for ages.... I don't know why, but I feel like it would be a connection with womanhood (if that makes any sense at all!!). but on the other hand, I know that being realistic, some things could go wrong, and I may end up needing a medical procedure, like an induction, c-section

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 5:14pm

Mari- I think it's really important to know what you want, and do your best to get it. That being said, labor is incredible unpredictable, and there are so many parts of it that we have absolutely no say in.

I know for me I really wanted a natural birth, and I had everything planned out. I would go into labor a few days before my due date, I would labor at home until my contractions were unbearable, at which point I would surely be 7 or 8 cm, and we would drive to the hospital where my husband would lovingly rub my back, I would relax in a tub, and would continue to progress for a few hours until I pushed for 30 minutes and had a healthy 7 lb baby with no tearing.

I think the biggest downfall to my med-free birth was that all the uncontrollable things did not go the way I planned them out. I went into labor 9 days after my due date, we went the hospital when my contractions were nearly unbearable, but I was only dilated to 3 cm. I labored in agonizing pain with my contractions stacked back to back for hours, only reaching 5 cm dilated where I finally stalled out, and stopped progressing. The tub water was cold and made me shiver which made the contractions that much more painful. I wasn't able to walk at all during a contractions, and contractions came so fast I would sometimes have to stop halfway between changing positions because another one came on. No position was comfortable, or provided any relief. Nothing my husband did felt good, and I didn't want him to touch me. Which made me feel incredible guilty because I wasn't including him, and he was trying so hard to be helpful.

After 12 hours of intense labor and no end anywhere in sight, I knew the Dr's were going to encourage me to let them break my water or start pitocin. All along my plan had been to have my water broken instead of pitocin, but when the decision time came, I got freaked out that if they broke my water baby wouldn't be here within 24 hours and I would be forced into a c-section, so I chose pitocin, and the epi. I pushed for 2 hours, tore terribly, and had a 9.5 lb baby.

I think it's silly to assume pitocin=epi, that's what was in my mind so I didn't even consider it without, but I know plenty of women who have done pitocin with out the epi, I was just to exhausted by the time we got to that point to consider it.

Anyway, I guess my point is there are so many factors you can't control that you have to be ready to roll with some punches. I recommend you sit down and talk with your husband and think about how you'll respond to different obstacles. If you really want to have a natural birth you need to come up with "natural" responses to all the different scenarios that can come down the line.

Also, they had us play this game in our birth class that really helped me put things in perspective. Maybe I'll post it in another thread since this one is already ridiculously long.

Good luck with natural birth, I'm sure you can do it if it's what you really want!

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Lilypie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 6:03pm

I think you have every right to have exactly the birth you want. I didn't get that lucky the first time around but I was able to go all natural the second time. And it was a beautiful experience thanks to my Doula and my great team of doctors. *and my Dh* I plan on going for natural childbirth with the 3rd as well. Have you looked into a Doula? I highly recommend having a Doula esp for your first birth. I really wish I had. I think things would have gone much better. Not that they were bad but I went for the epidural and I don't think I would have if I had had the support of the Doula. Anyways ..

I would suggest Watching the movie The Business of Being Born by Abby Epstein (w/Ricki Lake). It's a really amazing movie all new mama's should see it I think. And in there the quote some really great books on natural childbirth. Like Barbara Harper in Gentle Birth Choices. I love that book!
Just some food for thought! :)

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Lilypie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 6:49pm

The Business of Being Born was an EXCELLENT documentary! It got me so, so excited for Kaylee's birth.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 11:32pm

Hi Marianna - As you can tell from my post on teh PG thread, I tend to run on & on about birth related stuff. So.... I'm going to start a birth story thread & copy in the posts I wrote about my other kids' births there. I included things I learned, so that should answer some of your questions.


Keep in mind that every single birth is different & sometimes birth stories help, other times they just get you psyched out.

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