BTDT - Emotions after Baby Comes

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Registered: 02-26-2008
BTDT - Emotions after Baby Comes
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Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:58am

Hey there ladies..I have been thinking a TON this week about my hormones since I had a major breakdown yesterday and a few weeks ago and I Know I shouldn't worry but I am wondering how people have dealt with their emotions after the baby comes. I have a feeling the hormones will be worse when the little ones comes and being sleep deprived that I am just curious what/if anything I can do to make sure I don't have an emotional breakdown and go crazy when she comes.

To be honest I never thought my emotions would be on such a rollercoaster.

TIA









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Registered: 01-08-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 2:01pm
It sounds like you got a bunch of good advice. You are lucky to have family nearby. My family lives 5 hrs away and dh's parents live in Florida so it was really hard for me after the family left. On top of it my dh had a business trip shortly after that for a week an I was on my own with him and he was a colicky baby and it wasn't easy. Plus he was born in December and it was cold and snowy outside so all I did would be take him on car trips as I knew I could get out of the house even if it was just in the car and I didn't take him anywhere else. I wish I had a moms group back then but now I do.
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Registered: 02-26-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 1:48pm

Thanks ladies! Kate - I don't have official depression, but DH and I are in therapy (Have been for about 2 years now) and that's helping a great deal. I can't imagine having these shifts in hormones without the help we have already received.

We are still planning on seeing our therapist throughout the rest of the pregnancy and beyond (at least until she stops practicing) and with the help of our parents and my friends I think we will be good.

Thanks again!









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Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 4:28pm

I agree w/ the previous posters, but have one note to add.

If you have any known conditions that make you more "emotional" (PMDD, bi-polar, depression, etc) talk to your DR about this once you reach the 3rd trimester. For some women it is very helpful to start treating those conditions again (a lot of time they don't get treated in the first 2 trimesters). If you have a history of depression or hormonal inblanances it could be key to start treating before labor and delivery.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 12:29pm
Great question Jessica.
I think the ladies gave excellent advice. In my case, I had HUGE help from my mom and MIL, I honestly don't know how I would have done it without them. DH was/is very helpful too... he comes home from work so tired and still finds the energy to help me. And one thing that truly helps is to leave the baby for a couple of hours and go out to do something for yourself. In my case I took a class, and it made such a difference!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:23pm

Jessica,


You've gotten some great advice already and it's great that you're already thinking about this but like the others said, it's hard to be prepared 100%. I think you and I are alike in that we try to prepare as much as possible but it is so hard to predict how life is going to be once your LO arrives. I'll tell you what happened to me.


From the day after Selin was born, I was especially weepy in the hospital, mostly when it was just DH and I in the room. I was just so happy and thankful to have our new family and a healthy baby. Once we got home, I was weepy every other day or so, for about a week. Since then, I've been fine but I did keep tabs on my emotions just to make sure it wasn't PPD. One thing I wish I would've done was educate DH on the baby blues before hand because I really worried him when I would break into tears over dinner for no good reason. He kept saying, "we have a beautiful baby girl, why are you crying?" I also had anxiety those first few weeks I was home. Mainly I kept worrying about having to go back to work, even though it was a good 6 months away. All of these emotions went away in the first few weeks for me but I know everyone is different.


My parents were a huge help in those first few weeks, and still are, and the important thing is to take care of yourself, keep eating and keep hydrated. When I wouldn't eat all the time I would feel weak so I had to make sure I was feeding myself as well as baby. It wasn't easy because I was so tired and DH had to go back to work right away. Also, I HAD to take a shower every day, no matter what, just to refresh myself. I skipped one day and felt so miserable so I made it a priority every day. Now, when DH and I go out (even if it's just to the mall or dinner), I make an effort to dress in something other than lounge pants and I'll usually put makeup on as well because the way it boosts my mood is amazing. It's important to do little things like that for yourself. :-)


ETA: I second Kelly's comment about finding

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 7:21pm
I agree with the others - nothing can prepare you for it, but it does get better. Getting out of the house helps immensely, as does having other new moms to hang out with. I didn't have that in the beginning and I wish I did because I think it really would have helped me. If you don't have any other new moms to talk to, or aren't in a pre-natal class, then try finding a mommy group in your area through something like meetup.com. I WISH I had known about this site back when Elena was born!
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Registered: 02-26-2008
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 3:19pm

Thanks Ladies, as always you are very helpful....DH was asking me who I had that I could talk to. and I think it will be helpful to have him know the signs of PPD just in case...let's hope it doesn't come to that, but I know my personality so I want to be on top of it.

Luckily our therapist isn't closing down her practice for another year, so at least that will get us through when she is about 5 or 6 months old :)









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Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 3:01pm

(((HUGS))) Jessica, it's good that you are concerned about this now so that you can be prepared to deal with it after the baby is here.

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Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 11:15am

I completely agree with Anna! Nothing can prepare you for it- unfortunately, and the first weeks are incredibly hard- especially if you have any sort of problems like colic, jaundice, breastfeeding issues, etc.

BUT the good thing is that things get much much better. I found the first 2 weeks to be incredibly hard and then every week since then has gotten better. Getting out of the house every day helps me a ton, as does spending time with other mothers,so try and find some groups and classes now when you have the time:)

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Registered: 04-13-2008
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 10:38am
Have people to talk to. Ideally, other mums with babies roughly the same age as yours. Talking helps a LOT to put things into perspective. You could also try and "brief" your DH beforehand and tell him to be extra kind and understanding; or talk him through the symptoms of PND so he'll recognise it should it happen to you.
Emotions do run riot - especially when the milk comes in - so make sure DH is prepared for that.
I think DH found me pretty scary in the first weeks postpartum (I would be sobbing my eyes out for hours on end; and asked him to make sure Teddy would remember me when I'm dead etc). I had great friends who picked me up to come to our coffee meetings with babies. Seeing them and their babies helped me to see that I'm going through a normal phase, and everyone struggles to start with. I also focussed on the "6 week mark" - another friend had told me that when she reached 6 weeks, she was able to look back and think; "Yes, it's a lot easier now than it was when he was born!". So I held on to that thought - just get through another week, and another, and another - and alas by 6 week everything WAS a lot easier!
Honestly, there is nothing that can prepare you for what's coming. I know this sounds pretty dramatic :-) But you WILL be blown away; by love as much as by sleep deprivation and total exhaustion. Have people around you to help you get through those first few weeks!

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