BTDT - Sex question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
BTDT - Sex question
21
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 6:13pm
It's been 3 weeks since Fede was born, and according to what I've read, you can re start your sex life at six weeks post partum (if the Dr says it's ok)
Honestly, contrary to what I thought I would feel.... I WANT to DTD again! ;) I kind of "miss" DH you know?
But I'm really scared of it hurting or being "different" in a bad way. So the question is... was it easy for you? Is there anything you can do to help it?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 6:49pm
So I don't remember but did you tear at all? If so how bad? I think if your tearing (or episiotomy if you had one) is healed up, it's probably fine. We waited until 8 weeks PP because at my 6 week check up I was not totally healed. At three weeks, I still had stitches in. I certainly know of people who don't wait the 6 weeks though. Kim for instance, I am pretty sure did not wait 6, or even 3 weeks, and she seemed fine. For me it hurt pretty bad the first time, but it gets better eventually. I think if you feel up to it, it's probably ok, but then I'm no doctor ;-) Good for you being in the mood already, I was sooo greatful for that 8 weeks after all the trauma my hooha went through ;-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 6:58pm
William will be 12wks on Friday and DH and I still have not DTD. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't find the time. DH works long hours, I've gone back to one job and when William sleeps at night all I want to do is sleep. Good for you for wanting to DTD so soon.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 7:26pm
Good for you for wanting to DTD this early. The biggest thing to worry about is if you tore and is that healed. Also with breastfeeding you may need extra lubrication because BF can cause vaginal dryness. Also make sure that you feed or pump prior to DTD, so you don't leak all over DH. You may leak anyway, but hopefully it won't be too bad. Also make sure you use protection. I know of too many woman to find out they are pregnant at their 6 week PP visit.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 8:06pm

We DTD again between the 7 and 8 week mark. I had decided I wanted an IUD before DS was born and because of my tearing my Dr told me no sex till I was cleared at my 6 week check-up. At the 6-week check-up she told me to hold out until after I had my IUD put in, which was 7 weeks PP.

I don't remember much about DTD again (how it was, how it changed, etc)... most of the first 3 months were a blur.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 8:36pm
I had a 3rd degree tear, but it was well-healed by 6 weeks. We DTD then, and it was definitely really sore, but it wasn't painful. I wouldn't have been comfortable trying before then. But, I think you're probably fine to trust your instincts and do what you feel comfortable with.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 10:55pm
Good for you for wanting to DTD. I had an episiotomy and tore, and we did it at 6 weeks after my doc visit. We had to use a condom, because I was just starting back up on the BCP. We had not used condoms for years, so it felt weird just because of the condom. But, it also felt weird to me, not painful exactly, but just different. It took about another month past that before it felt the same as pre-baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 01-13-2010 - 11:38pm

As Grace said, I didn't wait the 6 weeks ;-).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 11:21am

I know how you feel! I was dying for it after about 10 days. I think it was all the shifting hormones. Anyway, we got the go-ahead at my 6 wk. appt. and came home and immediately did it. I'm not going to lie to you, it hurt a LOT. It hurt where I got stitches, but it hurt all over inside. This sounds counter-intuitive after having pushed a 7 lb. baby out, but he felt way too big. My insides just felt badly bruised (which I suppose they probably were...).

It did get better, though it took a few months to be able to DTD without pain, and even now my cervix is a lot more tender than it was pre-baby, so if he hits it on accident, ouch!

Just, make sure you go slowly and use lots of lube. GL!

-Megan

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wttg
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 1:55pm

I'm not a BTDT, but I thought I would share while we're talking about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 8:55pm

I actually had my 6 week PP at 4 weeks but my OB does it between 4 and 6 weeks. I also had tears but she said the stitches were gone and I was totally healed so she gave me the OK. I will second what other ladies said, it hurt. However, by the end it didn't hurt as bad but I hope each time it gets better. Dh was saying I will never be the same and that our son ruined me but I don't know if he was just saying that because it was our first time since we had him or what.

I don't know when we will again. He is waiting for me to get on the mini pill since he hates condoms so as soon as I start that we'll see. I want to take it slow until it feels normal again.

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