BTDT: Toddlerhood

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Registered: 09-12-2008
BTDT: Toddlerhood
10
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 9:13pm
Hoping some of the BTDT mamas can give me some advice on the following. :-)

1) At what age can you start using timeouts? Selin is almost 22 months and when she repeatedly does something over and over, even when I kept asking her not to, like #2 below, I feel like I should react effectively but not sure if she really understands why she's in a timeout?

2) Anyone figure out how to lock a dishwasher? Lol

3) At what age did your toddler stop using a high chair at home (if you used one)?

4) Please tell me it's just a phase when they said they don't want something one second and then change their mind and then whine about it the next second! Gah!

Avatar for sandyc299
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 10:38pm

1) At what age can you start using timeouts? Selin is almost 22 months and when she repeatedly does something over and over, even when I kept asking her not to, like #2 below, I feel like I should react effectively but not sure if she really understands why she's in a timeout? I think our pediatrician told us around 18 months so we started doing it around then. he totally understands it now b/c if I tell him go to his room which he knows is time out he totally wines and cries.

2) Anyone figure out how to lock a dishwasher? Lol

David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 11:45pm

1) At what age can you start using timeouts? Selin is almost 22 months and when she repeatedly does something over and over, even when I kept asking her not to, like #2 below, I feel like I should react effectively but not sure if she really understands why she's in a timeout? We have been using time outs since 18ish months. I know that they are used at day care. We do two minutes since he is almost two. atleast at home we talk about why we are in time out why we are there. I have not had to use it to much but we go to the kitchen and sit in a chair and put the time into the microwave.

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 4:50am

1.All I know is that time outs shouldn't be used until a child understands cause and effect and right or wrong- not just no means no. For many children this is between 2-3 years. Doing it before isn't really effective as the child is not learning from it :) Here are two articles on time outs that you might find helpful.
http://www.childandfamilymentalhealth.com/blog/child-and-family-health/using-positive-time-out/
http://www.doctorjenn.com/pdfs/magazine_scans/2008-06-23-timeout.pdf
2.Teddy helps me empty and fill it and otherwise doesn't seem to be to interested in it but if he was I know there are oven door child locks which you just stick on the outside of the oven and which would work just as well on a dishwasher.
3. We use both. Teddy chooses, and he mainly chooses his booster seat.
4. Haven't had that yet LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 7:49am

1. We use a modified 1-2-3 magic behavior plan. It is something I used while teaching and it has worked well thus far. William, for most things, gets two warnings and on the third gets time. I don't give any explanation, I just say that's 3, time out and put him in his room and close the door otherwise he escapes. I stay close by and he is only in time out for 2-3 minutes. We've used it for about 6 months or so and now I will just say that's 1 and he often stops the behavior I don't like. It's a good book to thumb through and is at most libraries. They also have video. It's a good deal of common sense as well.

2. I know they make fridge locks that you put on the side of the fridge and I assume there is something similar, if not the same one that you can use on a dishwasher.

3. We suse both a booster and high chair. We take the tray off of the high chair and push it up to the table.

4. I venture to guess that it doesn't change much as they get older. I know plenty of older children that make a decision, switch it and then whine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 9:05am

Christine, Fede is almost 24 months, and I totally get what you say...

1) At what age can you start using timeouts? I have been using timeouts for at least the past 4 months, and I find that right now they are the only thing that works when Fede is defying my "authority". I found that the time out in a corner sitting in a chair didn't work. He would just get off the chair (it is a logical solution after all). So what I do now is time outs in his room. First I tell him firmly "don't do that". Second warning is "don't do that, or you will get time out", and third is, "you did it anyway, now you go to your room". I take him by the hand to his room and close the door. I only have to cound to 20 seconds (he is very young after all)... of course he cries a little bit, but after the 20 seconds, I let him out, explain again why what he did was wrong, and then we hug and go on with our lives.

Don't worry, they do understand!! Perhaps they don't get the total depth and meaning of it, but they do get that they did something that you didn't like and so now they are in a situation they don't like... It's action/consequence.

2) Anyone figure out how to lock a dishwasher? Lol

3) At what age did your toddler stop using a high chair at home (if you used one)? About a month ago, he decided he wanted to eat in a regular chair like mom and dad and refused the high chair.

4) Please tell me it's just a phase when they said they don't want something one second and then change their mind and then whine about it the next second! Gah! HA!! I ALSO HOPE SO!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 11:33am

1) At what age can you start using timeouts? Selin is almost 22 months and when she repeatedly does something over and over, even when I kept asking her not to, like #2 below, I feel like I should react effectively but not sure if she really understands why she's in a timeout?




Thank you for the sig Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 9:27pm

1) At what age can you start using timeouts?

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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 10:42pm
1) We don't use time outs... I can't say that I never plan to use them, just haven't yet. I guess I don't think she's ready - like I don't think she *really* would connect the time out with her behavior yet...

2) We don't have a dishwasher. But Eliza loves to open the fridge... was actually thinking of getting a lock on it only because she will often accidentally leave it open and it wastes energy!

3) Eliza is still using her high chair, but it's one of those boosters that straps to a regular chair, so she'll often sit at the table with us. She still likes the to use the tray sometimes, too, so we let her pick.

4) Eliza is in this phase right now too! I feel your frustration Christine!! I find it is definitely worse when she is tired or hungry or something else in general is bothering her... we call it her "contrary mood".

Hang in there - we have all been there, ARE THERE, or will be there soon!! Selin sounds like a totally normal and healthy toddler :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 4:08pm

Thanks for all the great advice!

I think Selin doesn't fully understand why she's in time out, but I have been trying to be consistent with her and using the method I've seen on Supernanny: telling her why she's going to time out, putting her in her crib and not responding to her cries/pleas, then when I come back, tell her again why I put her there and to tell me she's sorry and give me a kiss. She does the last part, but then usually still gets into trouble again, lol.

Think I'm going to see if the fridge lock will work on a dishwasher. Of course the main times she gets into it is when DH is not home and I'm right in the middle of cooking dinner. She does "help" me unload the dishes but now she's also figured out how to remove the entire bottom rack and she started throwing her fridge magnets in the bottom of the dishwasher so just trying to keep her out of there altogether so we don't have a repair bill.

I have stopped fighting Selin on the high chair thing at home, we have bench seating in our kitchen (kind of a breakfast nook) so she usually just stands next to me or DH. As for eating in restaurants, it seems to be hit-or-miss if she'll sit in the high chair.

Ella - Selin sounds just like Eliza

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 6:47am
Christine... don't feel too b ad about the dishwasher... When Fede was 14 months he figured out the oven door, and threw a tupperware container inside... Of course, I didn't realize until the burning plastic smell filled the kitchen, and the melted plastic got stuck to the bottom of the oven... Getting it out was funnnnnn!!! (DH was thrilled!). I swear I cooked with burned plastic smell for weeks!!!

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