CIO Help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
CIO Help.
13
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 1:51pm

Ladies - I mentioned in my January Checkin we are doing CIO starting this week, but I have a few questions, because as I am reading these books (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Happiest Baby on the block) I am wondering what to do with our situation.

I don't have a problem getting her to sleep anymore (Thats what we had when she was 1 to 2 months old) now my problem is getting her to stay asleep for longer than 1 or 2 hours at a time.

Sunday night this was our schedule: Fed Her, Changed her, rocked her (read her a story) put her down around 9:00 (it was later because our IL's were over and her schedule got thrown off,which might be why the night was so awful). She slept for about 1 hour 15 minutes. I went into her room put her pacifier back into her mouth and put my hand on her chest and shushed her back to sleep. She then slept until 1. I fed her changed her and got her back to sleep within a 1/2 hour. She slept until 2:15. I tried to soothe her back to sleep but she wanted to eat again, so I fed her and put her down again. She was then up at 3:30, but not hungry just up. DH picked her up and rocked her and got her down and put her into her swing and she slept until 7.

Last night I tried this new thing where I took a sheet and rolled it up in a long tube and put it in a U shape and put it under the crib sheet - like a sleep positioner. It seemed to work. We had our bed time routine with a bath thrown in there. She fed at 5:30 and I gave her a bath at 6:30 and she was out by 7 which is really early for her - but it might have been because she didn't sleep well the night before. I put her down and she slept there with 2 little squeaks until midnight. I fed her and got her back down in 25 minutes. She slept until 3 and then was hungry again, so repeated our routine, again I had her down in 20 to 25 minutes. She then slept until 5:30 where I got her up and we started our day.

My question is where in the above scenario (if at all) would I do CIO? I know on the Sunday scenario it would have probably been at the 2:15 time or the 3:30 time but then how do I know that she doesn't have a wet diaper without waking her up? if she cries longer than 5 or 10 minutes then do I check her?

With the other scenario that we had last night, would I even do CIO? she seems like she would be hungry at those times so I don't know if it would make sense. or would I do it at the 3:00 and see if she put herself back to sleep and if she doesn't then go in and feed her? and same with it at 5:30.

I know she came make it the entire night without a feeding. When she is in her swing she can sleep from 7:30 or 8 to 5am. and she did that twice last week, so this is where my confusion comes from. It's so hard to know if it's because she is teething or going through a growth spurt or what. a friend suggested getting Humphreys Teething strips to give her at night, but I don't know anything about them and if I should or not...I know I am probably over thinking this and I really want you to know that it's not like I mind getting up in the middle of the night because I don't. I am okay with one or two times a night, but it's the every hour that wears me down.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 2:43pm

I know I don't frequent the baby talk section often, but I did CIO with my twins. We waited until 6 months old to do it with night feedings, and that was only after we had weaned those feedings down to 2oz bottles. We did however, have to let Grace CIO around 4 months old. She was swaddled and need a pacifier. So we broke her of both habits at once. By 4 months old, babies are old enough to be able to find their own fingers to suck on. It literally only took 3 nights of CIO for her to go to sleep at night without crying, no swaddle, and no paci ever again. The first night, it took 50 minutes. The second night it was 14 minutes with a break and another 10 minutes. The third night it was literally 4 minutes. She's gone to bed beautifully ever since.

I think once she realizes that you're not going to give her back the pacifier, she'll find other ways to self soothe. I would still feed her in the middle of the night at least once (maybe twice), but you could try to get her back to sleep without feeding at other times of the night. You could also soothe her until you wanted to feed her (like if you want to put her down at 7:30pm, nurse at 3am, then wake up for the day at 7:30am), if she woke up before 3am, try to stretch her out til that time before feeding her, rock, walk, soothe, whatever you have to do get her to 3am before nursing. She'll get into a rhythm and will wake up hungry at those times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 3:35pm

Katie- Just a couple of questions.

1. Did you put Grace down drowsy or was she already sleeping?

2. When you say it took 50 minutes, did she literally cry those entire 50 minutes? if she did how did you handle it? did you go in there and reassure her at all, or did she just cry herself to sleep? and if it wasn't the entire 50 minutes what did you do.

3. She isn't breaking free of the swaddle but soon she will as she gets bigger the swaddle we have won't fit her anymore, I am wondering if I should just do this all at once. She really sin't a pacifier baby - I mean usually she ends up spitting it out after a minute or two anyway, so I am thinking she probably doesn't need that either, especially if I don't swaddle her anymore.

Thanks again!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 4:09pm

I put them both down awake although Liam was always a better sleeper. With twins, I didn't have the luxury of rocking to sleep (and we never co-slept), so they both had to always fall asleep on their own.

She was totally awake and cried for the whole time. DH couldn't handle it and went out at bedtime for those three nights. I literally had to call him and tell him when she was done so he could come home. I felt like if I was going to put her (and me) through that, I was going to go 100% with it and not look back. I just did our normal routine and laid her down awake and she cried until she fell asleep. Like I said though, it really only took 3 nights and the 3rd night was a piece of cake even. I did make a deal with myself that I wouldn't let her cry for longer than hour without going to soothe her and luckily, she never lasted for an hour.

Grace was a wiggler and was constantly getting an arm out of the swaddle, then getting upset about it. That's why I figured, like I said, I was only going to do this once so I did the swaddle and paci at the same time. She still sucks her pointer and middle finger to go to sleep even now at 29 months old. I did substitute a halo sleep sack fleece (it was winter time then too) for the velcro swaddle we were using. She attached herself to the sleep sack and still holds it like a blanket now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 4:11pm

Oh also. Best piece of advice we ever got was from our pediatrician. He said babies naturally want to go to sleep between 6:30pm and 7:30pm. We were putting them down at 10pm and they'd wake up at 2am to eat (and 5am and 7am). That night we put them down at 7:30pm and they still slept straight through til 2am! It was a miracle, really. We started going to bed at 8pm too. It eventually got to the point (especially when we went from 3 naps a day to 2) where they were so tired by 6:30 that we had to put them down for the night. Even now, they still go to bed at 7:30pm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 4:16pm

When I did CIO w/ DS I showered during the crying spells.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 4:23pm

Thanks ladies! We stopped swaddling her legs months ago - mostly because the swaddle things we had became too small, so I have just been doing a sleep sack wtih the velcro halo fleece swaddle thing around her arms....and now that's getting to the point where it won't stay shut.

I think the biggest thing for us will be putting her down awake, but we will see how tonight goes. We have started putting her down closer to 7 or 7:30 except on a few nights when we are out. I did tell DH that we had to make sure we were home more that her schedule is more important than us going out. That's going to be rough with him I think. But then again he never puts her to bed, it's always me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 10:09pm

Jess,

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 11:34pm
Jess,
We never really did CIO at bedtime with Barrett, but we did transition him from being rocked to sleep to falling asleep on his own. The advice I read mainly said that they need to be able to fall asleep on their own before you can expect them to fall back asleep in the middle of the night. So you might want to start there. With Barrett we would lay him down in the crib and rub his back until he fell asleep and cut back on how much soothing we did until he fell asleep on his own.

For the middle of the night stuff, I think last night sounds like a good night - just because a baby can go without eating one night doesn't mean he/she isn't hungry the other nights. I'd concentrate on getting rid of the extra wakings when she is not hungry. Barrett had a horrendous sleep regression at 3 months, and the every hour thing is soooo exhausting! One or two times is definitely doable.

One more thought, I used to jump to get to Barrett as soon as he started crying, but I have since learned that if I wait five minutes he might just get himself back to sleep.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 8:53pm
Jess,

No advice on CIO since we don't do it but I totally think she might need to go to bed earlier. Selin used to get tired around 8:00 and when DH was gone this summer, she bumped herself up to 7:00. Now we start her routine around 6:30-7:00 and she is asleep by 8:00 (I nurse her to sleep).

We no longer go out during the week later than 5 or 5:30 because she starts getting fussy by 6:00. For us it was not a big deal because we'd rather eat home in peace than have her melt down at a restaurant.

We did do swaddling for the first few months but she's never had a paci because I'd rather her be able to selfsoothe.

Oh and Brita's suggestion works wonders! I've been waiting when she first cries for a few months now and 90% of the time, she stops crying after a few seconds and falls back to sleep.

GL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 3:40pm

I totally agree w/ the others. Our bedroom is upstairs and the twins are downstairs, so even now when they cry out, most of the time by the time we even go down the stairs, they've stopped. It definitely doesn't hurt to stay in bed for 5 minutes (which still feels like an eternity) before going to respond, plus you fall back asleep easier if she does go back to sleep on her own ;)

We also had a solid bedtime routine that was low-key and took about half an hour to do. We'd do bath every other night. Every night, we'd do a bottle or sippy cup of warm milk or formula (based on age), then new diaper, lotion, pjs, bedtime story, cuddles, and singing before laying down awake. I always tried to keep the feeding to the beginning of the routine so that they didn't learn to fall asleep while eating.

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