Cost of parents/family watching LO?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Cost of parents/family watching LO?
9
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 10:16am

Hi ladies,


I was just curious for those of you whose parents/family are currently or will be watching your LO, do you pay them and if so, how do you calculate how much to pay?


I realize this is a personal issue but it didn't occur to me until recently that some people do pay their

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 10:45am

I will be staying home but if I was ever in the position to have family watch my LO I would pay for food, drinks, outings, which I guess would be something like 50-100 a week


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 12:08pm

My in-laws are our babysitter for Desmond. Eloise is too young to go yet since she won't take a bottle, plus they would have problems watching both Desmond and Eloise together anyways. That being said they normally watch Desmond once a week for us, because both they and Desmond like the time together, and it lets us get things done/gives me one on one time with Eloise.

We do not pay them. If we needed full time daycare from them, I would pay them, since once a week is just Grandparent/Grandchild bonding time, every day is a job, and I would feel I was taking advantage of them if I didn't pay them. I won't actually use them for full time care since it would be a lot of extra work and tiring for them, plus they have activities they do during the week, but if they hypothetically were my daycare option while I was working, I would be paying them. It would just feel like I was taking advantage of them if I didn't.











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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 12:19pm

Sarah,


Thanks for responding. I understand your situation.


My question is how do I even go about figuring out how much to pay them? Would you go by what a daycare would charge or what a neighborhood lady would charge?

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Lilypie


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 3:09pm
I would probably ask them, but would tend toward what the neighborhood at home care lady would charge vs what a center would charge. It just won't feel right not to pay them something, something around or even slightly less then an at home care situation would feel fair to me, since they would still be helping me out, but I won't feel like I was taking advantage of them.










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Thank you for the sig Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 5:45pm

Christine,

Not that I have a baby, BUT

I think this is really a personal situation because to me, it depends entirely on your/your parents/your in-laws financial situations.

For instance, we live quite comfortably, since James is several years older, gets paid well as an engineer and I have a job, too. Plus we rent out an in-law house which pays for over half our mortgage.

My parents, on the other hand, are COMPLETELY broke right now, maybe more than they've ever been in their lives. This is the second year that all three of my sisters are in college and my parents are paying for half, and my Dad is a Real Estate broker, so his business has been slow for a couple years, and right before that, my parents sunk a ton of money into building a huge detached garage where the upstairs is my Dad's Real Estate office.

My inlaws, on the other extreme, are quite wealthy and always have been, and my MIL feels like we are going to inherit their money anyway so she has done things like pay for my nieces private school tuition for YEARS, help my BIL pay for a house etc.

So if my parents were watching our kids, I would pay them as much as they would accept because they need the money more than us.

If my in-laws were watching our kids, it would be kind of pointless for us to pay them because they don't need the money at all.

I think it really depends on how your family deals with money. If they are the type of people that want to help YOU out financially, then they probably wouldn't want very much, but if they are looking at it like a job, and they need the money, they might want to be paid as you would pay another caregiver. I agree that a place to start the convo is acknowledging that, as Ash said, food and outings cost money and you want to make sure you are providing those things and also, that you aren't taking advantage of them.

But again, you probably have more info than us about what your parents and in-laws would expect. Your IL's are from Turkey, if I recall, and most traditional cultures regard raising babies as a family affair and probably aren't expecting to be paid, but I am only guessing here. Let us know what ends up happening.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 5:49pm

I am having a family friend watch William 2x a wk and the other 3 days, he will go to an in home day care. I looked on craigslist- in my area- to see what people were charging as an in home day care f/t, p/t or as needed.

I will be paying our family friend 30$/day since I will be providing everything for him. The other day care is 85$/3 days. I found that most in my area were paying $30-$40/day or $120-140/wk.

My dad is moving in with DH and I to take some classes in boating mechanics while my mom (they are still married) will still live in CT and teach. He will likely be watching William often- picking him up from me at the gymnastics club I work at and bringing him home. We will not be paying my dad, but he will be living with us rent free.

If my parents watched William full time outside of my home, then I would pay them or find something comparable. A friend of mine pays for her parents heating oil cost for the year in return for daycare.

HTH, sorry it got long!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 4:18am

Good point Adrienne!


My situation is very similar to yours - my mom is a single parent and has a fine job as a nurse but supported me completely through private school and college so definitely doesn't


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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:29pm

If you want to get some suggestions before approaching your moms, you could ask their advice over at the Grandparents or Grandma Connection boards.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 3:07pm

Thanks everyone for the input! Very good points all-around!


Ash