Cultural differences in parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Cultural differences in parenting
16
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 12:56pm

Just curious to hear from some of you moms, especially those who may come from a different cultural background than your DH:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 11:54am
ruthieb85 wrote:

Mari- After looking into cloth diapering, I saw those diaper sprayers that you can attach to the toilet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 8:49pm
Haha, oh Ruth, that sucks!!! What a story! I had some definite squatting over a hole adventures in Africa but nothing like that!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 7:24am

...After looking into cloth diapering, I saw those diaper sprayers that you can attach to the toilet... I wonder if it could be a *dual-purpose* sprayer lol!
Probably yes!!!

Ok, I guess I should share my bathroom-culture-shock tale:

OH Ruth... that must have been sooooooo horrible!!!! Even coming from a "butt washing" culture... I would have done the same as you!
I can understand the sanitary aspect in a clean, private bathroom with soap and RUNNING water in the bowl.... but with standing water?????? and no soap for afterwards???????? I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a tiny bit of poop on my butt and not a world of germs on my hands!! That's an epidemic waiting to happen!!!! I hope you didn't have to shake hands with many people!

The rest of the time I was having the "opposite" problem and whenever DH would announce "I have to poop" I would say "Well, it must be nice!!!!!"
LOL!! Same problem here!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 10:00pm

Mari- After looking into cloth diapering, I saw those diaper sprayers that you can attach to the toilet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:37am

One thing I'm still not used too is that Turks (my DH and his family here included) throw all of their used toilet paper in little bathroom garbage cans, not the toilet.(?)

LOL!! Yeah, that happens around here too... In fact my in laws have the little bathroom bin!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 9:48pm
Ruthie,

My DH is very into using wet wipes after #2 so hopefully your DH will come around too! One thing I'm still not used too is that Turks (my DH and his family here included) throw all of their used toilet paper in little bathroom garbage cans, not the toilet.(?)

Traffic in Turkey is nuts, but a little more advanced than Bangladesh (no rickshaws, etc). Even my DH doesn't like driving there. We borrowed his uncle's stick shift Renault to drive to a summer resort last summer and my DH was so beat from driving stick in traffic!

When we went last summer, we didn't bring a car seat for Selin because we didn't anticipate needing/using a car as most of his family doesn't own one. Luckily one of his friends had a bucket seat so we used that while we were there. Selin did fit in it, although her legs hung out a little, but I figured any car seat was better than none at all. There were a few times we had to ride with her without one and I was holding onto her for dear life. When we go this summer, we will be bringing our Britax. I'm sure we'll get lots of stares as that thing is humongous! Lol

Oh and going back to the whole toilet issue...the first time I went to Turkey, back in 2006, we were near a ferry station and I had to pee. There was a public (pay) restroom outside the station and all the stalls were holes in the ground! Thankfully I had travel toilet paper with me but my aim was not so good while squatting and I peed a little on my jeans! Of course my DH got a big laugh out of it and we still joke about it to this day. Thankfully all of his relatives have "regular" toilets. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
Fri, 01-27-2012 - 8:14pm

So interesting to hear everyone's experiences! I hadn't really thought about how my/DH's cultural differences will show up in parenting (DH from eastern Africa)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 8:37am

Ruth, I second what Ash said about everything being fine as long as they respect you. You are the mom, and your in laws will have to respect the boundaries you set. It happens in every family, you don't need to have a totally different culture to bump into conflict... I had a few "hiccups" with my in laws about Fede, but since my MIL is a very nice (and balanced) person, she totally got my hints, and we are handling things pretty well so far.

The car seats issue is one example of that. Although we have the laws, most people here don't consider it necessary unless you are driving at high speed. It's been a struggle with every one older than 45... even DH is kind of lax about it sometimes...As far as the cleanlines issue... Sorry, but that made me LOL!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 3:15am

Ruthie- I think the thing with in-laws depends a lot on how much they respect you. For example I totally don't mind if my in-laws do things really differently with Teddy as long as they never scream/yell at him or try to spank or hit him or something like that. So far that has never been close to an issue and I know that they love him and treat him wonderfully. I also know that Teddy is a strong willed little person so for stuff like the feeding thing for you, my in-laws could try and feed Teddy by hand but the chances are incredibly high that Teddy would clamp his mouth shut and refuse to take one bite until they let him feed himself. Now if I thought my in-laws wouldn't respect him in that way and would keep forcing it that would be a problem. Same thing if they tried to critique my parenting but since so far they haven't done either of these things I am happy to let them do their own thing. Honestly if you have to limit visits a bit or always be there in the begining until your in-laws "get it" I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I also think it is super important that your DH is on the same page as you and you can both present a united front to the in-laws in case issues arise.

I also think your wet wipes suggestion is perfect and I don't understand why your DH doesn't consider it practical. We have a small container of wet wipes in all of our bathrooms, and carry travel packs with us in my purse- much easier then lugging a spray bottle around LOL. Maybe once your DH sees how easy your method is he will come around. Plus it is much easier to clean a squirmy little toddler with a wet wipe!

I think it is awesome that you are thinking about potential issues now and trying to come up with good compromises :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:04pm

Ash-

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