Eliza Update

Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Eliza Update
8
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 3:08pm

Hi WTT mommies! I'm so happy to be here - FINALLY!

Eliza is doing great. She is two weeks old, and we are finally coming out of the "OMG what just happened" transitional phase into parenthood. I can definitely feel my hormones returning back to normal. The first 10 days were admittedly rough - not because she's a difficult baby (I honestly love the work of taking care of her, and DH is the greatest daddy to coparent with which makes it so much easier!), but because I was soooo incredibly emotional. My hormones were out of control!! I knew it was normal, but I felt like a basket case. It was like I felt every emotion x 100. I think I probably cried every day for any little reason - not wanting her to grow up, feeling like I wasn't doing a good enough job, missing alone time with DH (and then I would cry more because I would feel sooo guilty for feeling this!)... basically ANYTHING could make the tears start. Yikes! Anyway, I am feeling so much better now. I think it helped to get out of the house with Eliza, and then also to get out of the house without her (and this was also good for DH to get some time alone with her - even if only for an hour).

I'm rambling... but anyway, I think what I was feeling (and might continue to still feel in the upcoming weeks, I know!) was normal, but wanted to ask you BTDT new moms about it. I honestly wasn't expecting it. I know everyone says the first few weeks are HARD, but for me it wasn't Eliza who was hard to take care of - she's a great nurser, a reasonably good sleeper at night for a newborn, etc... it was the PP emotions that were hard to deal with. I felt like if I didn't have that going against me, all of this would have been easy! Well, maybe not *easy*... :)

Eliza is back up to her birth weight, so it seems the nursing is going well! The first two days were difficult, but the LCs in the hospital were fantastic, and helped us figure it out. So by the time we went home, we had it down. I am so very grateful for this, I know how hard BFing can be for some mommies and how much stress that causes.

Well, that's our update! From now on I'll post my updates in the updates thread... :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 3:40pm

Ella,

I think what you've experienced is super normal. I know for atleast the first week after James was born I was a total hormonal basket case. I remember at one time I handed the baby to my mother in law and manage to say something about needing to take a bath. I went in to the bathroom, sat in the tub with the water on full blast so no one would hear me and bawled my eyes out. The whole time I felt so stupid because I wasn't upset about anything really, and I knew I was happy and loved my baby. It was just the hormones.

Anyway, I agree that getting out, with the baby and alone really helps. It helps things to feel more normal and less surreal.

I know it's totally different for everyone, but I wanted to mention, since you're first few weeks sounds so much like ours. The next two weeks were probably the hardest ones. Around two weeks James started being colicky (it wasn't colic I guess but he would cry every night from 4pm-12am) and my milk started doing weird things (spraying James in the face, he would pop off choking and crying and refusing to eat). I only mention this because I felt like my life was over, and my sweet little baby was gone forever, and then by 4 or 5 weeks everything had pretty much resolved. Babies are changing so much at this age, and your milk is still stabilizing and stuff, so things might be a little rocky, but it will definitely get better.

Ok, I've written a book now! It's great to hear you and Eliza are doing so well. Enjoy it, I feel like James was two weeks old yesterday ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 5:09pm

Ella,


First off I'm so in awe because you're doing so great, I love reading your blog and FB updates! How you feel now is absolutely normal; in fact you seem to deal with it amazingly well!


I remember the first few weeks were horrendous for me. It wasn't Teddy, I was so in love with him and adored him and he was as easy as a newborn can be. I just felt like I'd been hit by a freight train, both physically and emotionally. There was the physical side of recovering from an exhausting labour and traumatic birth, and not being able to do much after the c-section; the mastitis and nipple infections, added to the sleep deprivation we all know so well! Then I struggled to come to terms with it all - I felt I'd failed, been cheated of my birth experience, I couldn't even feed my own baby; and generally doubted if I'd be able to take on this huge responsibility.


I had thoughts like "Everyone would be better off without me", and "I just want to die" on a regular basis; thinking it would be better for Teddy if someone else took care of him as I was such a failure as a mother! I cried several hours every day for about the first 6 weeks.


I know how everyone keeps telling you beforehand "It's gonna be hard" and you think, oh yes I know, it'll be hard, blah blah blah. But then when it hits you you realise you had no idea!


The first weeks are just a massive shock to the system, and the body tries to get back to normal but you are still swamped with hormones, and everyone (baby included!) tries to get used and adjusted to the new situation. It just takes a while to settle in.


I remember that about 2 weeks in, when my friends had dragged me out to one of our meetings, one of the mums with an older baby told me that at 6 weeks, she'd looked back and noticed everything was so much easier. I didnt believe her! But sure enough, after about 8 weeks life had pretty much gone back to normal; a "new normal" of course but nevertheless.


Gosh, this

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 7:02pm

So glad to hear that you & Eliza are doing well! How awesome that the LC's were able to help you twi adjust to nursing! That makes a huge difference! It is pretty shocking how emotional you are after having your baby. For me I think it was the most dramatic with the first baby, being the biggest adjustment & all. Your body has been through a lot & is finding it's way to the new place where it's a milk maker 24/7. The hormones are crazy! The whole first year is quite a roller coaster IMO, but these first weeks are the most intense for certain.


You're doing great! Hang in there & it will get better, I promise! Also, ask for help whenever you can! Whether it's from DH or other friends & family. Even if someone just comes over & holds Eliza while you go for a

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 7:19pm

Ella, sooooo glad you are posting here! What you are experiencing is completely normal - I felt teary-eyed and weepy for at least the first 3 weeks, and burst into tears for no apparent reason many times. Then at about 2.5 weeks or so, Elena started with the "persistent crying" phase - meaning she would get fussy and bawl her head off every evening for the next 2-3 months. Aaargh! Just know that that is completely normal if it happens to Eliza!


Getting out of the house - both with and without the baby - can make a world of difference. It helps you not feel so cooped up - being home alone with a baby (even if alone means your DH is there too) all the time isn't good for any of you! It's great just to get out and get some air, see other people (even if you are just going to the mall and not actually socializing with those people) and help you feel like there is a world outside of, well, your new little world! LOL.


Glad the BFing is going so well. I'm officially jealous, even if I am pretty much over the fact that Elena just never got the hang of it!


Keep the updates coming!!!

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Thank you Joelle (mrsmoejoe) for my


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 8:41pm

Ella,


Thank you for taking the time to

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
In reply to: berry81
Sun, 11-29-2009 - 9:19pm
How nice to hear that Eliza is doing well and thriving! Like all of the BTDT's have said here, crying for no particular reason is par for the course. :) WIth Alex, I cried because he was crying, because I was exhausted, because my stitches hurt, because my milk didn't come in yet, because I was so happy and amazed that our son was ours, because I was scared to go #2 for the first time post-partum, because I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, I could go on and on and on. But yes, I cried every day for a few weeks at least. But before you know it, you'll look back on this time and be proud of yourself for getting through such a monumental life-change in one piece.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
In reply to: berry81
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 4:18am

"(...) because I was scared to go #2 for the first time post-partum(...)"

LOL Julie, I'd almost forgotten about that; I think I "held on" for at least 4 days as I was petrified to go, I thought my scar would burst open if I did!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
In reply to: berry81
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 9:43am

Just wanted to echo all the other BTDT moms in saying being emotional is completely normal! However, if after a few more weeks you still feel this way, or if it starts getting worse, I would make an appt. with your doc just in case. Right now it's probably just your hormones shifting around, but I'm a big proponent of keeping a careful eye out for PPD.

I cried a lot when Ry was really little, but it's hard for me to tell what was due to hormones and what was due to the medical situation and the fact that he screamed for 7+ hours a day for the first 5 or 6 weeks...yikes...

Anyway, hugs, and what you are feeling is totally normal!

-Megan

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