A few pictures and update

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
A few pictures and update
18
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 11:12am

Well, I'm home from the hospital (not particularly happy about that)... they kicked me out of the boarder room because L&D became completely full and they needed the room for patients. Although I completely understand that, they way it happened (someone with essentially no tact coming into the room at 10pm and saying I had until midnight to get out) was so jarring that I just lost it. I had to deal with "saying goodbye" and leaving my babies at the hospital for the first time and having it be so unexpected and communicated to me in that way just pushed me over the edge. Now we're working on getting a schedule down for me to be at the hospital all day (so much for that whole "don't drive after having a c section thing). We live 30 minutes away so going back and forth isn't really an option. Being at the hospital all day in order to be there for feedings, and to pump, etc. is so emotionally and physically draining I'm not handling it very well. There's really nowhere to be (it's either the cafeteria, or the NICU) so a lot of time I'm just sitting at their isolettes. You'd think that would be fine, but it's really incredibly draining to just sit there with way too much time on your hands to think about every little thing going on in there and how you've failed as a mother already. Plus there's nowhere to lie down or rest, so my feet are hugely swollen and I've just stopped checking my blood pressure altogether because I don't really want to know (I have

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 2:17pm

Andi--How are things?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 12:00am
On one hand it's helpful to hear your story, and to see things do get better, but it still makes me just want to cry. Your girls are so beautiful though and I just know they are going to thrive. I am hoping 2 weeks flies by fast and then you can all go home! I have heard several moms says short term NICU stays were a blessing that allowed for healing, one on one bonding, and breast feeding establishing so I know it's not "the worst thing ever" to have the babies in the NICU. I'm thinking of you guys every day and praying for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 10:50pm
Way to go girls! Open isolettes is great progress! You are doing so awesome Andi:)

I remember feeling so overwhelmed and scared when Teddy had to go back to the hospital for 5 days due to jaundice, and I remember all the anxiety that came with weigh-ins and blood tests and the like and feeling like an absolute failure when things went poorly and feeling awful for him and myself, and just really miserable.
I know it was a different situation but I think that hospital time with children is hard and the initial weeks post-partum are hard and adding them together just makes for a rough start. How is DH dealing with everything? But just keep hanging in there because getting the girls home is going to be a huge change and things are just going to keep getting better!! You are all doing an amazing job and you are being a wonderful mom to your two girls!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 6:28pm
Thank you all so much... Your posts made me cry, but in a good, cathartic way. Every day is a little better. The girls are making progress, have mastered temperature regulation and are in open isolettes now. They are slowly catching on to bottle and breast feeding but it's gonna take time. But both have exceeded their birth weights and are gaining about an ounce per day, so that's encouraging. Another 10 days at this rate and we'll have huge 5lb babies on our hands!! ;)!There are setbacks too- It's such a roller coaster- but nothing beyond the "to be expected" preemie stuff. I'm starting to come to terms with my identity as a nicu parent and am starting to feel a bit better. All your support really helps... Thank you girls.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 5:48pm
(((HUGS))) Andi!! You are doing so amazing. There is nothing that can prepare you for the PP time, ESPECIALLY if everything isn't 100% easy and perfect. Your hormones are EVERYWHERE right now and you've just had the biggest change of your entire life. You can't trust yourself when you think negative things, it's not the reality, it's just stress and hormones playing tricks on you. You are an amazing mother and having babies in the NICU is incredibly hard. Let yourself cry and just take it one day at a time. (((HUGS)))
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 1:42pm
Andi, Andrea, Alyssa... Your posts brought back so many memories! I had great people around me and bad ones. I remember when Fede was in the NICU, that the on call Dr (now his pedi), came to us, sitted crosslegged in the coffee table (there were no more seats), and spent 30 minutes explaining everything and answeing our questions. On the other hand, one afternoon, when Fede was still on the ventilator I broke down, and had to get away from his room, sat on a chair and started sobbing my heart out... No one came... it was like I was all alone. Anyways, I agree with everything Andrea said, to me it helped to walk. If there is a park nearby, try going there when you feel tired of the hospital. The green will help you! Oh, and... are you kidding me?? YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are dealing with twin preemies, and BF them!! That is plain awesome!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 1:35pm
Your girls are beautiful!!!! You are doing Amazing!!!!! And I promise it will get a million times better once you can bring your girls home, I am so sorry you are having to deal with NICU and you are allowed to vent all you want, because what you are dealing with is rough!

I think Andrea gave you some amazing advice and so I will just send big hugs your way:) :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2011
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 1:12pm
Wishing you all the best but this post seriously terrifies me :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 8:48pm
Andi,

Your girls are so lovely and so sweet!!! I'm so sorry things are so stressful in NICU and how completely tactless of that nurse to haul you out last minute. I hope and pray your girls continue to get stronger and are able to go home very soon. And hello there POWERFUL MOM, breastfeeding and pumping TWIN PREEMIES!!!!! Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back and high five for just that accomplishment alone. I'm in awe, truly, and you are so NOT a failure. Many many many hugs!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 8:28pm

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

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