Help! I'm going BATTY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Help! I'm going BATTY!
16
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 12:36pm

I don't know if I'm cut out to be a SAHM. Seriously, managing 120 fifteen year olds was easier.

I know that sounds horrible, but lately (last month or so) all Lucy does is walk around the house and whine! And pull at my legs. And cry. She seriously wants to be in my lap ALL DAY every day. The sound of her whiney grates on my nerves SO bad. I'm almost wondering if I need an anti-anxiety pill. Or anti-depressant. Or a job. I don't know. Part of me wants to go back to teaching and the other part really really likes being at home.

Right now she's crying on the floor under my chair and I'm just tired of sitting here with her all day. I can't even start a load of laundry without her following me around and crying.

I don't know what to do. I really thought that at 1 she would play a little more independently, you know? Is that unreasonable? Am I expecting too much from a 14 month old?

Does anyone follow a schedule with their toddler...with certain "activities" (outside swing, water play, video, lunch, etc) every day? I just wonder if she would benefit from a more predictable day? And not be so whiney? Or bored, maybe?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 1:55pm
Wow! That is awesome that David is so good at entertaining himself!

I think some of it is just temperament- my mom said I was completely different at Teddy's age, able to play with books or cars or blocks for 20+minutes, able to sit nicely at a restaurant and just play with the crayons, etc. But I also wasn't able to climb the way Teddy can until I was about 2 1/2 and I didn't get into everything like he does.

I think having me time is so important whether you are a SAHM or working mom or whatever- it's great that you get it Sandy:)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 12:11pm

I guess I should feel lucky after reading all these other posts. David is great at entertaining himself and has been so for several months. Of course he is a bit older than most of your kids (18 months) but even when he was younger. He has tons of toys to play with and can play with stuff for quite awhile. He also helps me load the dishwasher, do the laundry, vacuum.

And he is great going out to eat.

David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 11:30pm

Thanks again everyone!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 2:58pm
Heather, you are not alone! Fede is just the same, if I am playing with him he is all smiles, but if I'm doing anything without him, the clinginess begins. I don't mean stuff like doing the dishes or making the beds. He's fine with that, and follows me around happily. The problems is when he sees I'm having fun WITHOUT HIM, like posting here, or reading a book and such. I suppose at this age they still believe they "own" their mamas, and they should be with them and for them all the time. So it's hard to realize that they have "competition". Sometimes I wonder if this is something that only firstborns (or only child) go through. Maybe for other kids its easier, since they've had to share their moms since birth. Anyways... it gets slowly better. My boy is much better now at 18 mos than what he was at 14mos. As the girls have said, a routine helps a lot. A favorite TVshow helps too (Fede is crazy about Handy Manny), and also going outside... I can go outside and read a book for 1/2 hour while Fede is happily exploring the backyard. Oh! Something else that helps is to create fun from everyday stuff. fi, I have this silly song I sing when I'm putting the living room in order, and I do all this funny faces and voices, and Fede really thinks we are playing instead of doing chores. And in any case, when I feel like I can't stand the situation anymore, I try to think what my mom said once "Enjoy it, before you know they are teens and can't wait to get away from you!"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 8:01am
I think especially if you are new to staying at home full time that it can take awhile to adjust but give yourself a few months before deciding anything:)

I shower in the morning and Teddy plays in the bathroom while I do. Right now he likes to take makeup out of one bag and put it in another. I also sometimes let him play in the bathtub with a bit of water while I shower (the shower is enclosed by glass so I can see him the whole time).

I also think having a bit of a schedule makes a big difference! They come to know what to expect and that helps them a lot too.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 7:47am
I shower in the evening. It's never woken Evan up, and if it does, DH is there to get him back to sleep! LOL!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 7:38am
You aren't alone! I do think a predictable but FLEXIBLE schedule helps the day move along for me as much as for my kids. I didn't find that independent play increased until age two and even more so at age three. In the mean time, I planned LOTS of more structured activities so that I could feel like I was doing something meaningful, not just sitting and watching a toddler play. This might sound silly, but I got really hooked on talk radio and podcasts. I could set up my laptop, listen to really educational, thought-provoking information while still directly interatcting with my kids.

To be quite honest, since Jonah was born (almost 3 years ago), I also worked out of the home about 3 hours per week. Not much at all, but having something each week that I had to go to made the time at home more precious. Maybe you could find a single activity like a class or a standing lunch date that will break up your week and give you a little "me" time.

We follow a general pattern each day, and we have weekly outings that the boys have grown to count upon like trips to the library.

My mom told me a long time ago that the best way to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom is to almost never STAY at home. I have found this to be SO true. The busier we are the better!!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 2:04am

Heather,

You've gotten a lot of great ideas from the PPs but I just wanted to say that when I'm home FT, I try to have at least one thing planned for each day, otherwise Selin would get bored and cranky. I also stick to a pretty regular routine 7 days/week and try to keep to it when we're traveling as well. Breakfast, morning nap, morning activity, lunch, afternoon nap, prepare dinner, etc. Sometimes she plays really well by herself and other times she wants me to be the human jungle gym ala Ruby and Maxim, lol. She could care less about tv, we rarely let her watch it and when I have tried to distract her with a cartoon, she doesn't watch it anyway.

I'm fortunate that we live in a neighborhood where I can walk to do a lot of errands - grocery store, library, post office, etc., so I always try to think of somewhere we could walk to and do an errand -

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 12:34am
I shower at night, and we have a teeny tiny apartment. It's never woken my kiddos up. Once they're asleep for the night, they're less sensitive to noise, and the shower is really like white noise to them I think.

Definitely find a mom's group to hook up with, you'll be really glad you did. Especially when baby 2 comes along!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 11:21pm

Thank you guys SO much! Just reading your posts and suggestions make me feel so much better about everything. I've really felt at my wits end over the past few weeks and have really been considering trying to find a teaching job this fall. It's crazy though, because we moved here for an awesome job for Britt so that I COULD stay home!

Truthfully, I probably do expect way too much from Lucy. I have been working to build my photography portfolio over the last few months so that I can do that part time. But that's been several "complemetary" shoots and I'm usually trying to edit while Lucy plays during the day. I'm also taking online photography classes that require a lot of reading, etc.

....I haven't plugged into a mom's group in our new city yet...but would LOVE to find something. We do have some friends that we do playdates with occasionally (like once a month), but other than that, it's just us.

...You guys have give some great suggestions for activities during the day. I'm going to my grandparents this week because Britt is working really long hours and I haven't seen them since Christmas. But when we come home, I'm really going to try to work out a "schedule" of weekly activities to keep us busy.

One more question....When do you shower?? Haha, if I wait until Lucy's first nap, I'm in PJs until 10 or so! But she's up right at 6:30 or so every morning. And I'm afraid I'll wake her up if I shower at night.....AH!

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