Help! She never stops screaming!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Help! She never stops screaming!
15
Sun, 04-18-2010 - 12:26pm

X-posted from the April board:

Unless she is being held she is never happy. It's so awful and I don't know what to do with her. It doesn't matter if I put her down awake or sound asleep in the crib, bassinet, bouncer or swing. She is screaming within minutes. She is like this around the clock, I have to sleep with her to get her to sleep at all. Last night I didn't get to eat dinner, brush my teeth or even change out of my clothes into PJs because I was feeding her and she fell asleep and I didn't dare put her down because I wanted to sleep so badly. Is anyone else having this problem? This is #3 for me, you'd think I'd know what to do but I am at a total loss and going completely insane because I can't do anything unless I put her down and listen to her scream the whole time I'm doing it. She's in her swing screaming as I type this. I've tried letting her go for a while to see if she'll eventually tire out, but she doesn't seem to. HELP!!

I feed her every two hours from start to start for like a half hour each time, so it's like every hour and a half. I have two other kids that I am supposed to be taking care of and I can't even take care of myself!

ETA: I have a Moby wrap that I've tried a few times and it only works for her for like a half hour. I just really need to be able to put her down sometimes!!

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Edited 4/18/2010 12:42 pm ET by cara_l

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 6:47pm

I hope

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2009
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 3:20pm

Hey Cara,

I know what you mean this is my 3rd as well and Jaylen was the same way. He is getting better, but for the most part he always wants to be held. I found that he did have gas and I got him gripe water to help with that. He did develop a umbilical hernia which probably contributed to his fussiness a couple weeks ago (apparently the hernia is more common in African American babies). You may want to try getting her some gas drops or gripe water. I too had sleep with him in order to get sleep and I too feel some guilt for not being able to take care of my girls like I would like to.

They say that the baby doesn't know the difference in your routine but your older kids do so we should try to continue doing our normal routine with them. Easier said than done.

It is so funny I sometimes get Jayla (because Jaslyn doesn't care) to help me keep him occupied. She will sing to him or give him his pacifier (something I didn't give to them but had to with him) in order for me to use the bathroom sometimes. I put him in his swing and it works for a little bit, but not for too long. I did put him in my the carrier and took a short walk with him and the girls and he liked it.

Of course you will need to keep trying different things. I also started back swaddling him nice and tight and putting the pacifier in his mouth. He actually slept really well and so did I. He woke up I fed him, changed his diaper and wrapped him up again and placed him in his co-sleeper awake and he went back to sleep.

Good luck!!
Jay

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 12:33pm

Oooohhhh I so feel your pain! Except you have other children, so it must be even harder!

Rylan screamed all day for the first 6-8 weeks unless he had a boob, a bottle, or one of our fingers in his mouth. He wouldn't take a pacifier, he HATED the swing, he HATED being worn, he HATED his bassinet, he HATED laying down on a blanket on the floor alone, or in our bed, or in the Boppy etc. He slept only in small spurts and hardly at all at night. I carried him in my arms pretty much 24/7 and co-slept just to get a few non-contiguous hours of sleep each day. Friends would tell me to just let him CIO, but he would literally scream for 7+ hours without stopping. Other friends would just keep repeating the 5 S's to me like they were the 10 Commandments, and I kept saying, "But I'm doing all of that and he's still screaming all the time!"

Eventually, we learned he had reflux and food allergies so he was probably in pain, and we're learning now that he probably has ASD and/or a sensory disorder which makes some normal sensory info really painful, unpleasant, or scary for him, which explains why he hated being worn and why normally pleasant textures and sensations were troubling to him.

If you're already practicing the 5 S's, I would say take her to pedi and get her checked for reflux or other medical issues. Are her dirty diapers normal for her age and diet? Green, watery diarrhea was our first indication that Ry had food allergies.

Lots of hugs! I hope you can figure out what makes her tick and how to get her (and you and the rest of your family) to a happier place!

-Megan

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wttg
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:14pm

Cara, I'm not a BTDT mom...I'm a BTDT screamer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:08pm
Yeah Teddy also has many of the symptoms of silent reflux but my doctor didn't seem concerned and wouldn't give us anything for it unfortunately:(
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 11:37am
Thanks for all the input, Ash. I'm going to talk to her doctor about it tomorrow when we go in for her weight check. I find the paci will work for her sometimes too. She also hates being swaddled! She does okay in the Moby for a little while, but usually only 30 min. or so. She will sleep in her car seat forever if we are on the go and I've even tried putting her in it at night and get get 3 hours out of that sometimes. That's the only time I have to myself though, I sleep with her all the time. I feel so bad for my other girls though, I'm just so consumed by Baby right now. At least DH is home. I've been reading up on silent reflux and she has a lot of the symptoms. I didn't know a baby could have reflux without spitting up a lot. Someone on the April board told me about it. It would be great if it was something we could do something for, rather than just "waiting it out." McKenna was like this too, but she slept on her own at night at least. And 4 months did seem to be the magic number for her because she was an angel baby after that! Good luck to you, it's nice to know we're not alone, but sorry you are dealing with it too. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 10:38am

My son was like that from about 4 weeks to maybe 8 or 9 weeks. The doctor said he was colicky and I thought we would never get through it but we did. He still gets fussy now at 4 1/2 months but not as much as he did and it is usually if he is hungry, tired or bored. The only consolation is he did sleep at night. So, I am not really sure what to tell you. It could be colic but I am not sure how soon it starts. What helped for us was gas drops, gripe water and I also got a carrier. I spent many evenings with him in that thing just so I could get housework done. Other than that I don't have any real suggestions. Hope it gets better.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 10:00am
Just (((HUGS))) Cara--hopefully some of the other advice will work for you!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 5:03am

One last thing I can't believe I forgot. We use a pacifier and it helps so much, at first I was worried about nipple confusion but Theo is a champion breastfeeder so no problems there and sometimes the pacifier is the only thing that gets him to sleep.

We use it when he is in the stroller, car seat,and wrap and it makes a huge difference. Once he falls asleep we can take it out and he stays asleep but colicky babies often have a strong desire to suck all the time and the pacifier makes that possible.

Of course sometimes he doesn't want it and prefers to scream but anything that helps even 50% of the time is worth it ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 3:08am

I feel your pain!!! Theo has colic so I know exactly what you are going through. If he is awake and not eating there is a 95% chance he is crying, here is what works for us.

I carry him in a wrap and am really active for the first 20 minutes he is in it (dancing, walking briskly, etc) this normally gets him to fall asleep. Then I let him sleep in it for at least 20-30 minutes and then I can sometimes take him out and he will stay asleep.But most of the time I just keep him in it.

I sleep with him, there is no way he would sleep if I didn't.

I feed him constantly, it is one of the best ways to soothe him and I would rather be breastfeeding then listening to him scream.

I tried the swing, so far he doesn't like it. But I keep trying it occasionally.

Same thing for swaddling, so far he has hated it.

Going outside for a few minutes when I have the wrap on normally calms him down instantly.

The stroller sometimes works but not if he is already crying.

Same thing for car rides.

He does like the sound of the dryer but won't sleep if I am not also in the room.

I HIGHLY recommend buying or checking out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth.He is a doctor who has studied sleep patterns and habits in children and it explains everything in terms of what is normal at this point.

Basically some of us are lucky enough to get fussy colicky babies- the fussiness will keep getting worse until 6 weeks where it hits its peak and then gradually decrease until 4 months at which point all babies are now on a level playing field and there is no longer any difference between colicky and non colicky fussy babies.At 4 months you can also start doing sleep training if you so choose and the baby can "handle" it.

So personally I just take each day at a time and am counting down the days till we hit 6 weeks and this starts to slowly get better.

BIG BIG BIG hugs to you- I know how tiring, frustrating, and awful this can be!!

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