Leaving your little one for the night

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Leaving your little one for the night
12
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 5:08pm

Hey ladies - I know everyone is going to have a different opinion, but I was just curious when you first left your LO for the first time over night with it being someone besides your DH.

My dilemma is that I have signed up for this fundraising event it's a 9 to 9 scrapbook day. I do it every year and have been doing it for the past 6 years. I forgot to put it on the calendar, and DH has his "end of the year" ski party at our place with all his co-workers. He said he would be okay with watching her the entire day, but wouldn't be able to put her down. I mean she is sometimes difficult to put down and I think he would end up rushing her to get back to his friends. So I was thinking of seeing if my parents could watch her for the day and night, or pick her up for part of it and have her spend the night....

I just don't know if I want her spending the night with them. I know she would be fine and they would be okay, but it would be the first night without her...and I have to figure out where I am going to pump at this thing...oh sometimes the difficulties of breastfeeding...

So I am just wondering when you first left your LO over night.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 8:28pm
Not until he was out of diapers. The only person I trusted was my mom, and she won't do overnights w/ the grandkids till they are out of diapers.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 9:30pm
To tell you the truth, I still haven't. Whenever we've had a late night out, we've always come back before morning. We have never had any regular child care though. Up until a month ago, we were over 2000 miles from any family we had that could have watched Evan.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 10:36pm
This past weekend for a complete overnight. LOL! My mom has watched him pretty late since he was about a year though. Some nights she would watch him as late as 11:00, so the bed time part was the same to some extent.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 10:41pm
The first time he was 2 months old. He was sleeping from 9pm to 5am consistently and going back to bed for a few hours so I didnt feel it was that big of a deal, especially when my in-laws were so agreeable to it. If they hadnt been ok with getting up at 5am to feed him, then I wouldnt have done it but they were totally cool with it. Baby did great too.

The second time was for our trip to the Bahamas. Obviously I'm pretty casual and laissez-faire about overnights, I think its a really positive thing actually, if baby has a really predictable routine and he's in the care of grandparents. I take it from my own upbringing though, I was often at my grandparents for special overnights from an early age. Some people arents as comfortable. Kellymom's facebook page had a status about this topic and I was really surprised that some people have never had an overnight away from their kids or their kids were pretty old before they did. Every family is different, you have to do what is comfortable for you.

DH hasnt been alone overnight without me but I've done it without DH when he went to Montreal.

Good luck! I'm sure whatever you decide will work out just fine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 3:10am
I think Teddy was about 18 months when we first left him with his gran overnight. Come to think of it, that was probably the only time too!
With us I think it's more down to not having family around who would do it. MIL still refuses to babysit for 1-2 hours in the evening when he's asleep! I guess if we had my family here we'd leave him more often and would have done it sooner; probably around the time he was night weaned or maybe a bit later when he was good at taking cups instead of the boob (Teddy never took bottles).
Go with what feels right for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 8:26am

My oldest is 5 1/2, and he slept away from

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 8:50am

Our plan is that we'll *consider* letting Peter spend the night away from home once he's totally weaned, and I'm planning to follow child-led weaning. MIL has been asking since he was born and even said for Christmas all she wanted was for him to spend the night and sleep in her bed with her. Since I'm not comfortable with that at all, I'm just not letting him go anywhere. It wouldn't matter right now anyway, since he won't stay asleep for anyone but me. He just screams until I show up.

Should I get pregnant before he weans, I'll do something similar to Erica. Someone will stay at our house with him, preferably DH. My mom would be willing to stay at the hospital with me.

Some background for my reasoning: MIL would get super offended if I let him stay with someone and not with her, but I don't trust her. She gave juice to her 4 m/o EBF neice several years ago, and she constantly asks about formula and just in general hasn't been respectful of our parenting choices. I'll keep Peter at home, TYVM. haha.

sig by ChrissySig by Chrissy at SMFB! Lilypie First Birthday tickersby chrissy bottlemommy greenby chrissy waterwtt grad january 2011

by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 10:10am
Liz,

If I had a crazy MIL like you there is just NO WAY I would have been comfortable with an overnight either....so I totally get that and agree with your conviction on this! If your caregivers cant respect your parenting choices and rules, then no go. Thankfully that isnt an issue for us (except with over feeding but we got that nipped in the bud when we left for the Bahamas, they just didnt understand BM that well until I wrote a one page on feeding rationale/instructions, lol) and if its been minor stuff, its either let go because its not that important or addressed. But yeah...juice at 4 months, pushing formula or sleeping in their bed....sooooooooo not gonna happen!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 10:41am

We haven't yet. Just because all our family is out of town and a distance away and we don't want to pay a sitter to watch him overnight. Not like we don't want to just because of the cost. We may go away for a night when we go to Florida at the end of April and have my in laws watch David. Or this summer go to Ohio and go somewhere for a night (we were thinking Niagara Falls or maybe some place in Amish country in Ohio) and have my mom watch him. I figure he is old enough now and plus she had two kids I think she can handle it. It's times like these I wish the family was closer we wouldn't have to pay a sitter.

David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 10:45am

After they are night weaned.




Thank you for the sig Mary

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