If you're worried about stepping on Grandparents toes in regards to the crib I would ask them about it. From my experience new grandparents are either all about buying this stuff or totally into spoiling with cute clothes and toys. If they are the later then the parents-to-be will really appreciate the gift of the crib.
You can also think outside the registry and get them gift cards for groceries or to one of those meal-making places. or even go to the meal making place and show up with dinners to load their freezer with.
ITA--I would just tell the grandparents that you are thinking of getting the crib, but you wanted to see if they were planning to get it before you bought it.
Maybe the grandparents have already bought carseats and other things and that's why they aren't listed?
I also love the idea of "one month worth of maid service" or "twice a week nanny help" or a bunch of frozen food or something like that. Those are the things the parents will really be wanting those first few weeks (from what I've read) ;-)!
I agree with the advice you have already gotten. While I am not a BTDT mom, a bunch of us at work got my co-worker a gift card to a grocery delivery company that was local. That way she could either have full meals delivered or have groceries delivered without leaving the house.
But I really love the maid service idea! I wish someone would do that for me :)
David Nicholas 12/5/09Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13