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|Tue, 02-08-2011 - 1:21pm|
I want to start this off with I am feeling awfully guilty about this and this might just be a pity party - so you can just ignore me. I LOVE being a parent. I love my little girl, she is the best thing that happened to me. but what I wasn't prepared for when I was pregnant was losing myself. I grew up with a mother who did a great job at balancing her work life and her home life and was great (at least appeared to be) at handling it all. She took care of me, while my dad worked 2 to 3 jobs, worked 40 hours a week, took care of my grandmother (who was dying from cancer) and her sister (who was 8 at the time). I really don't know how she did it as I am feeling like I am having an emotional breakdown.
For the past 2 weeks, Gabby has been sick with a double ear infection (now it's just one) and a cold. She hasn't been sleeping at daycare. She used to sleep 4 hours or so (1 hour nap in the morning, and a 2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon). Before she got sick she would go down for the night around 6:30 or 7:00, sleep until 10:30 or 11, and then again until 2:00 or 3. but now she is doing the same thing, but getting up at 2, and then 4 and sometimes 5am. Last Monday (so a week from yesterday) I took her in and found out she still had the one ear infection. Because the Dr didn't get the med script to the pharmacy until Tuesday we didn't start the meds until Tuesday Evening, so this evening she has been on the 2nd set of meds for 1 week. She is getting better, because early last week she was only sleeping every 1 1/2 hours.
I am at my whits end. I realize that she is probably not sleeping because of her ear infection, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. Should I take her in even though it hasn't been 10 days yet?
I also don't know apparently how to balance working 40 to 45 hours a week and keeping my husband happy and my baby happy without losing myself. DH and I got into a Huge fight this morning about his "Helping" He got up with her at 5 this morning only after I asked him to get out of bed and take care of her. When I got up an hour and a half later, I took her so he could go to the bathroom and take a shower, 25 minutes later he was getting out of the bathroom. I mean really? I take 5 minute maybe 10 minute showers. So that put us both late getting stuff ready to go. on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I have to get ready too because I go into the office and I have to be in the office around 8:15. Anyway we got super mad at each other and all because we can't get things straight on how we are going to take care of her. in January and Feburary he works a 2nd job.