Mommy talk - Summer addition

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Mommy talk - Summer addition
46
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 10:26am

Mari started one of these a while back and i thought I would bring it back. :)


 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 2:50pm

Christine, best of luck with the job!


Oh, and I was going to suggest what Adrienne did re: not changing Selin before bringing her to MIL, but I didn't think of the nice clever comment. Love it! You should totally try it.


I think you are doing the right thing looking for other means of childcare too. Usually, if something doesn't feel right, there's a good reason - but especially when it comes to your children!



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Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 1:10pm

Ella - I've been wondering how things with your MIL have been since "the blog incident". :-) I think my MIL is just trying to be helpful because she's not really a control freak but I think she doesn't realize that a diaper doesn't have to be changed if she's just a little wet. I'm dropping her off this Sat. so I can have lunch with a friend (and so she can visit with Selin without me actually having to be there, lol) and I'll have to specifically tell her not to change her unless she poops and that babies only have to have wet diapers changed every 2-3 hours.


Adrienne - I haven't tried the TT bottles yet but I think I'm going to. They were recommended to me by one of the moms in my LLL group too. Wouldn't it be funny if Selin only took one of the most expensive bottles that comes from England? That would be my child. LOL


AFM - DH comes home from overseas in 6 days!! I can't wait to have our life back and be together as a family again. He misses Selin terribly but I've been trying to send lots of photos and videos. Also having to visit his family alone has been a little irritating to me. They're nice people and they mean well but it's so much easier for me when I can send DH over there with Selin and have some time to myself.


Still no word on the PT position I interviewed for last week. I'm hoping to at least get an offer, even if I end up not accepting it. Trying not to let this all get to me but I just have so much anxiety about our jobs, childcare, going back to work, the last semester of grad school I still need to do and now I feel baby fever starting again with everyone getting PG lately with #2 or #3. I have a session with my therapist next week and going to her has been a good outlet for addressing my anxiety. I know this will all be behind us hopefully in the near future.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:54pm

Update: Today I got an email about that PT position I interviewed for last week and I didn't get the job. :-(


I was kind of down all day today and I should've known it was going to end on a low note with that email. I'm just frustrated that I've had 2 interviews (that were hard to get in the first place) and didn't get either job. But I know it's a sucky economy out there right now and I should be lucky I even got 2 interviews. Mainly, each time I get a rejection phone call/email, it's just a reminder that I have to face my horrible, most-inflexible-anti working mother-boss in just over a week. I had a good cry about it off and on all day today and then decided to focus my efforts on job hunting again.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 1:27am

Christine - sorry about the interview. Keep up the good work tho - you are bound to find something soon if you are getting interviews :) Sorry about the MIL. It could be worse tho...she could be like mine and refuse to change diapers.


Kelly - come move out here and we can be neighbours!!! I commuted downtown in 38 mins for years. My east van coworkers were jealous I took almost the same time they did, LOL. I have a t/home with a grassy backyard and only 1 shared wall.

Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 3:18pm
Oh darnit, I'm so sorry you didn't get the job, Christine. That's rough. GL with the continued job search, you're right just to pick up and get right back at it - you have such a good attitude about it!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 3:25am

Christine - I SO sorry about the job! I was really hoping for you. I know it sounds trite and cliche, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. Good luck with your search, the right job will come along!


Dee - I forget which part of the LM you live in, or if I even knew. LOL. I'm in bby. Your townhouse sounds great! When and if we ever do look for one, I hope we get an end unit and a grassy backyard, even if it's just a little one. But most of all I hope we get someplace nice and quiet! I am soooo sick of hearing footsteps, voices, music, and god-knows-what-else above my head all the time. And I'm sure the people downstairs from us are probably sick of hearing Elena thumping around on the floor all the time too. :(


I was looking back through this thread and saw that Ruby asked when I was starting school (oops!). I actually have an update in that department anyway so here goes. I'll be starting the prerequisite course (medical terminology) online in November. Can't wait! It'll feel good to be using my brain again. Other than for managing a household, anyway. :) Anyhow, that runs for 12 weeks, into early March, and then the actual program has intakes every year in



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Registered: 07-15-2004
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 8:59pm

So here is my delema... this will probably be long.


Little background. When we moved to MT for DH to go to college I had a hard time finding a job. The town where the U is has little opportunities for my degree areas and specializations. The few things I did find I was way over qualified for. Most of you remember that I ended up having two job offers and selected the one that had the better pay and better benefits. The one I thought would be less stressful. I had a lot to learn as this was an area I have pretty much no knowledge in. Well last Sept the company started a major transition. They decided to take what was suppose to take 5 years of changes and cram it into 18 months time. Now while I think the final picture looks great, the way they put the steps to get there are making things pretty rough on everyone. So I go out on Materinity leave in the middle so when i come back it was like a whole new job to learn. I had a vacation scheduled after just 5 weeks back and I couldn't wait. I was so stressed out and frustrated it wasn't even funny. I was semi ready to go back to work but now I'm not sure this is what I really want to do. Unforchunatly the pay and benefits are better then anything else I have seen for the area which makes it hard to leave since I am the main income.


DH has been frustrated as well. They changed our schedules to what is suppose to be a set schedule... either 4 on 4 off or 3 on 3 off. So that as management we can plan our lives and have some sort of life. Only time this was suppose to be altered was for the day after Thanksgiving. Only problem is with all the changes that have happened it has thrown our store. As no one is allowed over time that works hourly that means the management team gets to pick it up. My days are constantly being fliped and added to. We are about 20 days out from inventory and we are not in the greatest shape due to back to school items rolling in and getting all sorts of extra freight from another store that just opened cause they over ordered everything. The nights I work I feel like I hardly see Simon or DH. I go roughly 20 hours without seeing them as I leave for work in the evening, DH and Simon are gone before I get home. I go pick Simon up from day care in the afternoon after I get some sleep. While its nice to have the 4 days off (when I get them) I wish I actually got to see my family on the days I work. When I go back to the day shift I'll get to help get Simon up and ready then won't see him again till the next morning. Pretty much DH has deamed my job the civilian Army other then I am not getting sent to a strange country far far away.


Needless to say I really would like to be able to stay home and spend more time with my family. I think it would be great if I could work part time and be home most of the time as we have absolutly no family near us to help with anything. Last night while I was getting ready for work DH said that if it wasn't for the insurance (I pay roughly $100 a month for the three of us) he would have told me to quit already. Like I said I have looked for other positions but there isn't much open around here. I have applied for a few and gotten nothing. While we can pretty well survive off of what DH gets for college (GI Bill) since we live pretty much under what we could we would be ok other then the summer would be tough. The kicker is the insurance with a little one. We talked about both of us attempting to find part time jobs, one hopfully with insurance that way we still had some extra coming in.


Needless to say I am torn. DH has two years of college left and we hope to try for baby number two next summer. Do I really push and attempt for us to look for part time jobs and just make it by? Do I tough it out and wait till DH gets done with school. As right now we are putting quite a bit into savings during the school year for a real house some day. We don't really have to worry about money or if we want to go on a trip. I honestly want to go back to school, the area I want I really need to get into to be able to have a chance at getting into school. however there is training and certification required for that. With my 12 hour day changing schedule its a little hard to go to the training as its normally a set class. With this

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:33am

Hey Cassie-

If health insurance is really the only thing you need from your job, you could consider purchasing insurance for your self and Simon, or getting Simon on state insurance.

My situation is similar to yours in that my husband is also in school. It's not worth it me to work just to get benefits. I have James on medicaid. I felt kind of bad about it at first, but it's just temporary and we're going to be paying taxes for the rest of our lives once DH gets out of school. So, I don't know, I feel like for us that's the best choice. Before I got pregnant I purchased insurance for myself, I just got a bare minimum plan for like $100/month. Now that I'm pregnant that plan didn't cover maternity so I got on state insurance.

I feel like I've seen in your posts before that you wouldn't want to do something like that, but I thought I would throw it out there as an option. If you're really miserable, it could be a solution that might work, and you don't have to look at it as living off the government, it would just be getting some assistance to help your family out while you're husband gets through school.

Good luck, I know this is tough for you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 11:55am

I don't want to sound rude I'm just being honest so I hope you don't hold it against me or anything.


I just don't think I could do it. I was raised to take care of myself. That I should pay my bills and my way. That those things were for emergency purposes not a just because. I would just feel guilty take that when I know I could and was taking care of myself and my family.


We have talked about both of us getting part time jobs and looking into what insurance would cost. If one part time job could cover the insurance that would work well. Course thats if we could find anything worth wild. If I could get my photography and my crafts off the ground that would be great. Right now I don't have the time to work on it much.


My mid-year eval is coming up... so I guess seeing how they feel about me will put things into prospective. Also had some things come down that are not sounding promising and being a manager, even if its not my fault it is cause I'm managment.


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 Cassie 

     

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Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 12:27pm

If it were me (and I feel the same about paying my own bills) and getting DH out of college and a house was my priority, I would tough it out. If the benefits are good and the wage is good, then thats enough for me if it means my family will have insurance and I want my own home soon. If I remember, you work retail....crappy hours are par for the course when it comes to retail jobs. There is just no way around it, even as management. My mom manages a jewelry store and works up to 50-60 hours during the year and 12 hour days for 8 weeks in November and December. The company is just NOW saying managers dont have to work more than 40 hours a week during the year (except for Christmas). So if you're going to stay working retail, even part time somewhere, the hours will not be great unfortunately. Perhaps the crappy hours and switching days is going to get better back to the more predictable days you laid out.

To me, health insurance is gold....to risk going without it with a baby is taking a huge financial risk my opinion. You need all 3 of you to be insured, not just Simon. I guess I would make a list of your priorities and when you want to achieve certain goals...for example, if getting DH out of school before TTC #2 is necessary or owning a home in the next 2-3 years is a priority...then you need to weigh what "just getting by on part time jobs" means when you have these other priorities. If you're like me and need to pay your own bills, then "just getting by" isnt enough for me at all. That to me is much more stressful than working wonky, crappy hours.

I'm not in the position of working right now and raising a family but I will be very soon and I'm sure its not easy. I will have to work just to pay off my school debt. That is the bed I made for myself....going to school for an advanced degree and because of it, not being able to stay home with my children. I think these are the things you have signed up for having a family when DH is in school and you're in a place where you cant easily find work in your field. Fortunately, babies and children are very resilient and there are loads of mothers that work outside the home, even with wonky hours, and their families survive and thrive. No matter what your decisions are, you have to be the one to live with them....and I would suggest looking further down the road (over the next 5 years) and what the positive or negative consequences could be then rather than now.

Good luck and hugs!

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