Mommy talk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mommy talk?
73
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:17am

Ladies, I've been wanting to start this thread for some time now.
I don't know if you feel the same, but sometimes I feel the need to talk with adults about general stuff... not only baby stuff!
We have the baby update thread to talk about our babies and their progress, here we can talk about everything else. Of course, since we are moms, there will be a lot about our kids, but they won't be the center of the thread.
Also, I suppose it will be a really slow thread, none of us has much time to post. But I hope it goes on even if slowly.

I'll start:

I think I've finally adjusted to having my baby at home after the NICU. We are back on a routine and I feel more like myself again.
What worries me right now is the relationship between DH and I. It's not like we are fighting or anything. It's just that it seems we are parents... and not lovers anymore. I mean, we don't spend time "just for the two of us". It's always about the baby, or work, or financial issues. And it sucks! I've tried to talk about it with him, but he doesn't seem to feel like there is anything wrong!! I suppose it has to do with the way our own parents were. My parents tried to find time for their relationship, going on dates and finding time during the day to talk. His parents live through their children and I've noticed that by now they are almost scared to go out alone as a couple. I suppose they can't find what to talk about...
Another thing is our sex life. Between the baby, his work and life in general we are really exhausted. And when we are in the mood, baby is asleep, we are not tired and the planets are aligned....... it hurts so much that it feels awful!!!! I got some advice in the sex thread I posted, but it sucks that the only think I can do is "give it time and patience"!!!!

On a brighter note, we are just about to buy our dream lot! Finally there is still some paperwork left to do, but I think it is a matter of days. I'll try to post pictures soon!

PhotobucketDaisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Breastfeeding tickersPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 10:05pm

Cassie I am glad your trip went good. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks since Simon was born. If and when you decide to DTD remember everyone is different and how your body reacts may be entirely different (or the same) as posted by others. Regardless have plenty of lube handy and try and relax.

Finding the right babysitter/childcare is KEY. I can look back on the last 6 years and I can tell the periods in which our childcare situation was not ideal... things are harder then.

AFM DF is having his bachelor party tonight, so me and DS are staying at my moms. Just relaxing a little before settling in.

My aunt told me tonight that my cousin wants to move in with us to go to HS in our town. We have the 3rd best HS in the state, and we have the room... but it's my future nursery. Not that D couldn't move his office to the attic (it's full walk up) and we could turn his office into a future nursery. So many things to think about, do I really want to be responsible for a teenager? My aunt said she would pay us CS, and while she has the money she is really bad about parting with it. I need to think this one over to see where I stand before talking to DF.

Photobucket



Daisypath Wedding tickers


Daisypath Anniversary tickers



Lilypie


PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Dog tickers




Photobucket


Photobucket

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 7:47pm

DH and I had some us time last night. Thank you Simon for going to sleep at 8:30PM and not waking up will midnight. We DTD and it didn't hurt at all. I was really surprised after everyone else saying how painful it was. I'm sorry for you ladies who had discomfort. I'm not trying to brag, I was just really surprised.


Slight rant here... my inlaws are driving me nuts again! We went to the 50th anniversary party and took Simon so everyone could see. We are traveling to my home town at the end of the month so that I can see my family and they can meet Simon. My grandparents are to old to make such a trip and I have not been home in 2 years. So during our phone call last night and while we were down there they asked about the trip. We will be leaving on the Friday after Matt gets done with class and hopfully driving as far as we can since its a 1200 mile trip. Getting into my parents late Saturday. Then on Sunday my parents are throwing a Meet Simon party for friends and family to all come instead of us having to travel all over the place. Along with the fact that I really didn't get much of a baby shower. Spend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday there in my home town. Then Thursday we plan to travel to where I was going to college when we met to see some friends and go to a couple of places to eat that we really miss. Then on Friday morning head out from there. They want to know if we are going to spend the weekend with them and my MIL side of the family again for Easter. Which would once again mean getting home really late on Sunday night. Cause Matt's grandmother is having easter and its a 7 hour drive if you push it. We told them last time we would have to see how things go and yet they pushed the issue again last night on the phone! Seriously? I'm doing a 1200 mile trip with an infant and you want me to squeeze in Easter with you after traveling over 2400 miles? Yet you people can't travel 350 miles to do anything with your oldest child and continuly drop comments about us moving closer? UGGG!


I don't mind spending time with my IL's and Matt's side of the family. Actually I was hoping considering I am so far from my family but I'm sick and tired of feeling like we have to do everything... all the traveling to be part of the family. They don't seem to give a lick about the fact that Matt has classes and unlike the other two boys doesn't stay out till odd hours at night and then go to work/school. That is also my last week home once we get back so I'll have lots to get done before going back to work.


Ok I'll stop ranting now. It just really gets old.

Simon's first siggy
Lilypie First Birthday tickers

 Cassie 

     

Avatar for sandyc299
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 9:03am

Kate,
That is such a wonderful idea. I know my husband and I haven't had much time together lately with a 3 month old. And it seems we are so tired by the time he goes to bed and that is also when I take my shower. Plus, I Have been so crabby lately I don't know if it is just I am feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden but I went off on him the other day b/c he got to go out to a basketball game and we only had 2 tickets and I had to stay home with the baby. So, every since then we have been fighting and I don't know what to do. It's just horrible and I know we need to do something. I think maybe since we just haven't totally adjusted to the baby yet. Anyway he promised me next time that I will be able to go and he will stay home and watch him.

Photobucket

Thanks for the wonderful siggie Dedi


David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 10:27am
CASSIE- I'm glad things were easy while DTD. Instead of making me jealous it gives me some hope that maybe next baby it won't be that bad for me. One little question... did you tear or had an episiotomy dring birth? I did, and maybe that's what makes all the difference!
About your in-laws, you are totally right about feeling angry... their demands are seriously ridiculous. besides you recently traveled there for the anniversary party, right? They need to give you a break!!!!I think Matt should have a serious conversation with his parents about all this issues.
KATE- What a dilemma about your cousin!!! It's not easy to be in charge of a teenager, but I think it all depends on the girl's personality (how responsible she is and her general temper), and making clear to her parents that you are not there to educate her.
SANDY- I feel for you!!! I really hope you and your DH find a way to adapt to the new family dynamic. DH and I are slowly doing that. I think what helped the most was using every little opportunity to chat, share and be tender with eachother. For example, we would use a car ride to talk and hold hands, KWIM?
PhotobucketDaisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Breastfeeding tickersPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 1:31pm

MARI I did have a tear. I had a 2nd degree tear and then a cervical tear. You retore yours didn't you? Maybe having to have it double heal could have made things a bit more difficult for you.


TMI - it may have to do with the fact that my DH isn't to terribly large.. if you know what I mean. ;)


I'm glad you don't think I am over reacting about my IL. It is about to drive me crazy, though I sit there and just don't say anything cause it doesn't do any good.


 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 3:40pm
LOL!! Mine isn't too large either... although I wouldn't know, he's my only guy ever... but I think he is just average.
I think you may be right about the double healing in the area.
PhotobucketDaisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Breastfeeding tickersPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2009
In reply to: bailarina2005
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 1:02pm

Mari great idea on this thread!!!

Okay so it has been over a week since I had Jaylen and now I am sweating horribly at night. It doesn't matter what I do I wake up drenched in sweat. I read in the books that this can happen, but it has never happened to me before. I have also had one bout of baby blues which I normally have the day I get home from the hospital. I cried a little because I love being in the hospital. I feel like at home I am taking care of baby (DH helps but he has been focused on the girls so that I can focus on the baby), and in the hospital I have people taking care of me and the baby. I also loved the food. We have excellent hospitals in Houston, TX. Our Medical center is rated #1 in the US. Anyway so I got over that quickly.

My new dilemma which I am sure many of you will probably think I am crazy for being upset about, but it is something that I struggle with and that is that I have lost way too much weight already. My legs look so skinny and my arms are so skinny. I know I wasn't big before, but I liked the size I was when I was pregnant minus the belly!! The good news is my stomach is almost down to it's prepregnancy look and I attribute that to breastfeeding. Those painful cramps during feeding really worked to get my uterus down. It still has some ways to go, but it is moving in the right direction quickly. I can fit into prepregnancy stuff already!!!

Emotionally I think I am doing fine. I love being home, but he hours fly by so quickly. My mother is here and has been such a big help!! DH took off two weeks from work. I am actually ready for him to go back to work. I want to hog the baby for myself. Well my new man is calling me so talk to you later!!!

How is everyone doing by the way?

Jay ( I will update all my stuff below when I have time)

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 11:01am

Jay, I had the sweats for a week or so after Simon was born once we got home. I thought it was due to us having the house turned up warmer. We normally kept it around 65 at night but with Simon we originally had it turned up to 70. So I'm not sure if it was hormones or me just being over heated since I was used to coolerness. If you could like some extra weight I will give you some of mine. I had 20lbs drop off real quick then when I wasn't able to BF half of it came back so now I'm trying to bust my tail to get rid of most of it before I go back to work so I don't have to spend more money on more clothes to wear to work.


 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 7:55pm

Rant alert. . .


While I love my son more then anything and would never take back the pregnancy experiance and having him I hate how I look. Nothing fits.. or if it does I feel terrible in it. I have to go back to work in 3 weeks from Monday and all my maternity clothes are to big.. my normal stuff is mostly to small and I can't find anything that I feel comfortable in. I went to the mall today to see if I could find something and the only thing I got has a W with the size.


I worked my tail off to lose all the weight I did and I ate better during pregnancy and still managed to gain 35lbs which don't seem to want to come off. I have to go back to work and my dress code is making it hard to find clothes. That and

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 9:43pm
I'm not sure what your dress code is like, but the classic yoga pants at Victoria's Secret are the BEST! They are so comfy, and can actually look quite dressy when paired with a dressier top. They also come in a ton of different colours. I also gained about 35 lbs or so during pregnancy, but I did manage to lose it all fairly quickly (like 4 months or so). You are less than 2 months pp so give it


Powered by CGISpy.com

Pages