Mommy talk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mommy talk?
73
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:17am

Ladies, I've been wanting to start this thread for some time now.
I don't know if you feel the same, but sometimes I feel the need to talk with adults about general stuff... not only baby stuff!
We have the baby update thread to talk about our babies and their progress, here we can talk about everything else. Of course, since we are moms, there will be a lot about our kids, but they won't be the center of the thread.
Also, I suppose it will be a really slow thread, none of us has much time to post. But I hope it goes on even if slowly.

I'll start:

I think I've finally adjusted to having my baby at home after the NICU. We are back on a routine and I feel more like myself again.
What worries me right now is the relationship between DH and I. It's not like we are fighting or anything. It's just that it seems we are parents... and not lovers anymore. I mean, we don't spend time "just for the two of us". It's always about the baby, or work, or financial issues. And it sucks! I've tried to talk about it with him, but he doesn't seem to feel like there is anything wrong!! I suppose it has to do with the way our own parents were. My parents tried to find time for their relationship, going on dates and finding time during the day to talk. His parents live through their children and I've noticed that by now they are almost scared to go out alone as a couple. I suppose they can't find what to talk about...
Another thing is our sex life. Between the baby, his work and life in general we are really exhausted. And when we are in the mood, baby is asleep, we are not tired and the planets are aligned....... it hurts so much that it feels awful!!!! I got some advice in the sex thread I posted, but it sucks that the only think I can do is "give it time and patience"!!!!

On a brighter note, we are just about to buy our dream lot! Finally there is still some paperwork left to do, but I think it is a matter of days. I'll try to post pictures soon!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:12am

Cassie: I know the feeling... I swear I am still trying to loss some of my "baby weight"... but I guess that doesn't count after 6 years. Maybe a trip to the salvation army is in store... just a pair or 2 of pants and maybe 3 shirts... so you can mix and match.

Jay: It's good to see you, sounds like you are doing pretty well at this time (aside from the night sweets). Got any new pics of the baby?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 10:08am

Cassie, I totally hear you. I lost the extra pregnancy weight really quickly (within 2 weeks) but I wasn't slim before, and now I wasn't slim AND had that awful flabby belly. I swear I didn't buy any new clothes for me for like 9 months or so, because I hated how they fit (badly) and how I looked. Now, a year on, my belly still isn't mega-firm but a lot better than it was. It is mega hard to come to terms with this - your body will never look/feel the same. But it does get better with time!


Like Kelly, I walk a lot (twice a day) and I think that little bit of exercise definitely helps. I'd love to go running again but don't have the time/energy for that!


I hope you'll find some clothes to wear to work; and remember "it's just a phase" (I use that for everything - just remind yourself bad things are just a phase that will be over at some point!).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 11:23am

Thanks ladies. I wasn't slim either but I was just getting to the point where I enjoyed going shopping and could fit into normal clothes. I am working out we go on walks on the days its nice. It is hit or miss this time of year in the valley. I have been doing workout videos atleast 3 times a week if not more.


I love my mom to death but I don't want to end up like she has with all the extra weight that never went away. She has so many health problems and I have enough family history in a few things Dr's already look at me funny even though I have been relativly healthy my entire life.


High BP and Diabeties run rampet in my family. So I think lots of people were surprised I didn't end up with either during my pregnancy.

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 4:57pm
Cassie, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad about your body... I'm in the same boat too. I've even had to bite my tongue a couple of times when DH said nice things to me, because my instinctive reaction is to say "you can't be serious, NO ONE can be attracted to me!". Sometimes I feel like I'm back in my teens in terms of insecurity!
It doesn't help that I can't find the time to do proper exercise and also that I'm so hungry all the time... (sigh)
But let's stop talking about me.
I think you are on the right track about this. Doing exercise and eating healthy will take you back to a healthy weight and a better body shape, it's just that it's only been 2 months... That's not time enough after having a baby!
As far as clothes... I would try a couple of dress pants in a stretchy kind of fabric and some women shirts, the kind that are close to your body without revealing the exact shape of your tummy, KWIM?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 7:04pm
I have a few of those pants. As long as my radio an keys don't pull my pants down. LoL


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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 12:34pm

Hi Ladies! This thread is a great idea... mommy talk is soooo important :)

So I have a question for you fellow postpartum ladies: have any of you experienced excessive shedding? OMG my hair is falling out at an insane rate. I find strands of my hair EVERYWHERE - in Eliza's hands, on my clothes, on the floor, ALL OVER the bathroom... it's ridiculous! And when I take a shower... oh it's not pretty... I am starting to worry that this isn't going to stop and I'm going to get bald patches!!!??? I can definitely tell that my hair is thinner than it used to be! DH is starting to call me Sinead... yeah. He's hilarious.

Anyway, any BTDT experience?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 2:36pm
Completely normal. I has that happen both times from about 5 months till 9 months. Your hair tends not to fall out as much when you are pregnant and when you have the baby the shock to your system can kill off some of your hair so a couple of months later you start to shed a lot of hair.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 4:22pm
I remember those days. Creepy... yet completely normal.

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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 9:36pm
Thanks ladies, I'm really relieved to hear you both say that it's normal! My mom told me she thought it was probably nothing, but then she started to worry because I have hypothyroidism and she wondered if my meds were out of whack after giving birth... so I'm going in next week to have that checked. But I really suspect it's just normal postpartum shedding.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 12:52pm
OMG Ella! I have the same problem!! Specially when I wash my hair, it's horrible!
I'm relieved that the BTDT moms say it is normal!
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