Mommy talk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mommy talk?
73
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:17am

Ladies, I've been wanting to start this thread for some time now.
I don't know if you feel the same, but sometimes I feel the need to talk with adults about general stuff... not only baby stuff!
We have the baby update thread to talk about our babies and their progress, here we can talk about everything else. Of course, since we are moms, there will be a lot about our kids, but they won't be the center of the thread.
Also, I suppose it will be a really slow thread, none of us has much time to post. But I hope it goes on even if slowly.

I'll start:

I think I've finally adjusted to having my baby at home after the NICU. We are back on a routine and I feel more like myself again.
What worries me right now is the relationship between DH and I. It's not like we are fighting or anything. It's just that it seems we are parents... and not lovers anymore. I mean, we don't spend time "just for the two of us". It's always about the baby, or work, or financial issues. And it sucks! I've tried to talk about it with him, but he doesn't seem to feel like there is anything wrong!! I suppose it has to do with the way our own parents were. My parents tried to find time for their relationship, going on dates and finding time during the day to talk. His parents live through their children and I've noticed that by now they are almost scared to go out alone as a couple. I suppose they can't find what to talk about...
Another thing is our sex life. Between the baby, his work and life in general we are really exhausted. And when we are in the mood, baby is asleep, we are not tired and the planets are aligned....... it hurts so much that it feels awful!!!! I got some advice in the sex thread I posted, but it sucks that the only think I can do is "give it time and patience"!!!!

On a brighter note, we are just about to buy our dream lot! Finally there is still some paperwork left to do, but I think it is a matter of days. I'll try to post pictures soon!

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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 7:52pm

You have it too?? Okay, well then I guess I'm really not alone - yeah, I was glad to hear that it's normal. But I hope it stops soon!!!

Your new siggy is completely adorable - I just LOVE Fede's expressions, he is such a sweetheart!


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Avatar for sandyc299
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 8:45am

Jay- I was the same way. I fit into a pair of pre pregnancy clothes 6 days after I had him. I wasn't able to fit into my jeans however until about 6 weeks. Of course now i am gaining some of that back since I have been eating like a pig to keep up with breastfeeding and somedays I know I don't eat as healthy as I should. However I didn't gain a whole lot either. I lost about 30 pounds and I am happy with that. I am trying to eat more healthy now so I can lose the few that I gained. I still have the flab and I swear I am going to get on my Wii fit one of these days (if my son would let me).

I had to buy a dress for a funeral this week and a lot of stuff is form fitting and it showed my gut so I know where you are coming from. But as long as I am not wearing something like that I am fine. ALthough I must say it was a shocker as I have never really had big breasts before ( I was a C cup before) but clothes definately fit me differently now that I am breastfeeding.

Ella- My hair is falling out too. I try and brush it and there is a ton of it. I also find it all over my son. I think it is normal with the hormones as you don't lose any during pgcy. At least that is what I read.

Anyone having bladder issues? it is getting better but I had the issue of going to the bathroom all the time and sometimes when I went I would have to go 2 min later. I then read in my baby book that giving birth can sometimes screw up your bladder. I am hoping it is getting back to normal, or otherwise I will ask my dr when I go at the end of next month.

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Thanks for the wonderful siggie Dedi


David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 12:39pm
Thanks Ella! I also love those pictures, they completely caught his smile!
That's why I got another siggy done, now I can rotate them.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 1:11pm

Ella, didn't anyone warn you about postpartum hair loss?!?! I had it from 3-7 months. I remember being in the shower the first time I went back to the gym and it was coming out in handfuls.

It does stop. And new hair does grow in. The bad news is that you end up with this new layer of short hair all over your head. It's driving me nuts!

~Lorien











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Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 1:50pm

"Ella, didn't anyone warn you about postpartum hair loss?!?!"

Noooo!!! And - oh joy - I'm really looking forward to the new layer of short hair :P


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 7:26pm
I used to lose a fair bit of hair normally - I actually kept one of those hair-catcher things in the shower drain - but after I'd been pregnant for a few months, the normal hair loss virtually stopped! Then, a couple of months after Elena was born, I started losing hair almost by the handful! I too thought I was going to go bald. Everyone assured me it was normal so I tried not to worry. After I was about 6 months pp,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 10:14pm
Just lurking in this thread, but wanted to let you all know that the PP hair loss is perfectly normal. Hair goes through stages of growing and resting. During pregnancy it stays in the growing phase and doesn't rest. For most that resting phase kind of takes over after birth. All in all it evens itself out from not having hair loos in pregnancy and then more after pregnancy.
Here's a good article about the whole thing:
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/hairloss.html

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 10:21pm
Kelly - I actually momentarily considered the merits of shaving my head the other day :) My new hair sounds exactly the same as yours with the not smoothing down. Bah!
~Lorien











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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 2:30pm
Hi all, I just wanted to "talk" because I've been feeling a little blue this past few days. It's ridiculous, really, I have a baby I love, a husband who is wonderful to me, and everything seems to be right with life, but now and again, I have this flashes of intense sadness, and that leaves me scared and wondering what the heck is wrong with me!
All I can think of is that maybe it has something to do with my dear cat disapearing. I remember when my other cat went missing I cried rivers, even if she wasn't my favorite. Now, I can't cry or really think about it properly, it's like I just brush the thought with my mind,and move on. Maybe it is too painful or something, but I feel like I'm repressing it.
Another theory is that maybe I'm ready to leave the house a bit more and do other things. For the past months I've been most of the time at home, being a SAHM. Yesterday I went to a lecture (about plants)and it felt sooooooo good to be using my brain again!
Well, as you see, I mostly wanted to vent. I've always been super scared of depression (a relative killed himself when I was little), and every time I feel down I tend to panic and over analize it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
In reply to: bailarina2005
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 3:52pm

I'm really sorry about your cat, Mari. And it must be really tough at a time you don't really have the energy to process or grieve.

And the postpartum period really messes with your brain chemicals and moods anyway. I always have a worse time when I'm stuck in the house with the baby. Do you get out much at all? Are there any playgroups or new mom support groups you could try going to?

Also, I don't know if you have any access to counseling resources, either through your doctor or your church or something? It might be helpful to sit down with someone a couple times and just think through how you're feeling and get your emotions out there.

Of course, you're always free to just share with us :)

~Lorien











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