Forgive me but this is a pissy post, haha!
I am with you and I have only been doing this for 4 1/2 months. I bought a nursing bra with an underwire to wear during the day (for when I pump) and I am out an about. I LOVE It, it's so much more like a regular bra....I wear my looser nursing bras around the house, but lately I have just been wearing a nursing tank at night. the bras were getting too annoying and uncomfortable. I still have to wear the nursing pads at night because I leak if she happens to sleep too long...
Good Luck! I feel your pain! If it were me I would stick with the nursing bras, or maybe buy some really good nursing tank tops.
You probably don't really want to know what my lovely 38 H (maybe I) boobs and I are doing.
I've converted some regular bras into nursing bras. It's really not very hard. I probably wouldn't do it on the new bras that you really like, at least not at first, but maybe you could pick up a cheap bra that you don't hate and then try converting it? That way you'll know how it goes and you can decide if you want to do it on a nicer bra, but either way maybe you'll have a bra that falls somewhere in between the bra you love and the icky nursing bras. I wore nursing bras pretty much till James weaned, so I feel your pain. I know towards the end he was going long enough between nursing that I would wear normal bras and then pretty much only nurse him at home. Depending on the cut of the bra I could also sometime get my nipple out without actually removing the bra, but it sounds like that doesn't work in the bra's you have.