Pressure to Stop BF?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Pressure to Stop BF?
13
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 10:12am

I was just reading an article that is asking the question: "Would you stop breastfeeding to save your marriage?", here is a link:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 1:31pm

Mari--We definitely have a history here. There was a period in the 50's and 60's when they thought formula was better and that BFing was only for people who were too poor to afford formula. So many of our Mom's and Grandma's were raised to think that BFing was "low", "dirty", "beneath a cultured/well-off woman" sort of thing.

Obviously we've known for some time now that BFing is actually better but these old thoughts/feelings definitely take a long time to die. Especially in certain parts of the U.S. So maybe that is a partial explanation.

Among my own friends I've also seen something that a lot of women who had trouble getting started with BFing and ended up switching to Formula put pressure on other women to do the same--probably to reinforce their own choice.

Anyway, I know we are weird here in the States. This is only one example of many, LOL!

Silly Expecting Siggy


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 4:03pm

Thanks Melissa. Their concern is mainly

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 3:35pm

I think it's the #1 choice here now also, but that doesn't prevent the older generations from putting their two cents in about how it was done when they were parents!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 2:24pm
I hope this doesn't come out bad.
But someone can please explain to me what is it with Americans and their love for formula vs. breastfeeding?? I'm not against formula per se (I think it is necessary in some cases). But I come form a place where breast milk is the #1 choice. So I really can't understand that some of you are getting weird looks or comments for doing what is so obviously natural!!!!!
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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 10:50am

I'm sorry you are getting so much pressure from them, Christine.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 10:42am
Very good point, there are obviously bigger problems that need to be worked on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 9:35am

I agree with you ladies - if the husband was so adamant about it, I would think there was some other underlying problem. Like Leona (I think?) mentioned - you still have to feed the baby, so the time it takes wouldn't change. And if it was a jealousy thing ("your boobs are mine, not the baby's"), then I sure wouldn't want to be with someone like that either.

I haven't really talked to anyone about my BF intentions. I hope to be able to do it, and would definitely appreciate the support if I was to have a difficult time with it in the beginning. It would be frustrating if people were to tell me to "just give up" or whatever - and I hope I don't get that kind of thing from our families (I know DH would be supportive).





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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 6:15am

Getting started with BFing is normally hard enough, I can't imagine what it must be like if your DH is against it. I struggled so hard to begin with but DH was so supportive and encouraged me to keep going; even drove us to the LC one evening who lived half an hour away as I had a minor breakdown. I guess in that situation, just having had a baby and going through the stress of the early weeks, most women would cave in and give up if their husbands were adamant.
I can't imagine there are too many cases though where a woman has a good established BFing relationship with baby, and the husband just gets jealous and wants her to stop as he feels the boobs are his, or something. In that case I agree, who would want to be with a man like that anyway?

In regards to (older) relatives not understanding BFing, I totally agree. It must be a generation thing. My MIL told me she'd BF'd her first son but when I asked more about it, it turned out she'd BF'd him for 2 weeks(!) before switching to formula which was "normal". My mother tried to BF me but gave up after a few days as she couldn't get the hang of it; and didn't understand at all why I was so determined to BF. She constantly told me to give up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 5:41pm

Christine--My Mom also said something to me like: "Well doesn't it lose its nutritional value after 6 months?"

The reality is, the milk does change, but it changes as the baby eats more food--it changes in response to what the baby is doing, you don't have to change what the baby is doing in response to the milk changing.

As the baby eats more food, it NEEDS less nutrition from the milk, yet things like immune factors become even more important. The BM of babies that are eating more actually concentrates more of the important things into the milk to protect the baby just as well even if it isn't BFing as much.

However, I knew a Mom (on IV) whose daughter had serious food allergies and pretty much didn't eat food until she was two. And for the entire two years, BM did a good job of providing all the nutrients she needed. So it obviously doesn't lose it's nutritional value after 6 months.

But yeah, people are often misinformed.

Silly Expecting Siggy


pregnancy due date

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 4:10pm

That is a tough call but I have to agree with Adrienne that I wouldn't want to be married to someone who would make me choose.


I have been feeling a lot of pressure from

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