SAHM questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
SAHM questions
5
Fri, 07-13-2012 - 9:46am

Since DH just got a new position that makes more money and has better hours, he's seriously considering me staying home now. Big change, because he used to hate his job so much that he wanted me to keep working but him stay home.

Anyway, this is a whole new direction I hadn't really even thought about. So a few questions:

1. What's a normal type of routine?

2. How do you get anything done with a clingy kid? Peter is the type who literally holds my hand as I walk room to room. I don't have to play with him; he just doesn't want to be left alone.

3. How do you keep yourself connected with other adults?

4. (This one isn't about staying home, per se, but something I worry about) How do you grocery shop with more than one kid?!

Thanks, all! We're working the budget to see if we can make this work and still have our house paid off in three more years or so.

by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Re: SAHM questions
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 10:49pm
trauem_was_schoenes wrote:


P.S. The last time our windows were cleaned was when we had a window cleaner come about a year ago. DH already knows, "I don't do windows" LOL :smileyhappy::smileyhappy:

We've lived in our house 5 years and never cleaned the windows beyond like once a year vacuuming the sills out.  Yep.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Re: SAHM questions
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 10:48pm
chaoticchemistry wrote:
Since he'll be working, huh? My guess is unless he's giving up nursing to become a coal miner or similar, you'll be working a hell of a lot harder all day with a two year-old and a new baby! HE should be the one doing the bleaching, scrubbing, etc.!

agreed

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Re: SAHM questions
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 10:47pm
cavenyee wrote:
Thanks, ladies! We're still discussing. DH told me last night he would have a list of "rules" for me and expects that everything will be bleached and/or scrubbed (all windows, etc) weekly, and that he won't have to do anything around the house since he'll be working. So we have a ways to go to figure out everything...

Was this how it was when HE was SAH?  As I recall, that was NOT the case.  I think he forgets how hard is it to be home 24/7 with a kid.  Let him have Peter for an entire day to help remind him.  Make sure he finds time to bleach the house while you are gone, too.  I'm guessing he WON'T.

Silly men.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Re: SAHM questions
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 10:43pm
teachertobe09 wrote:

 Don't know if it's the terrible twos or what but I've been home with her for two weeks straight as our sitter was closed and I'm SO looking forward to her going back tomorrow!

 

LOL--no no, that sounds normal!  I honestly always thought I would want to be a SAHM but I think I would like to be able to work outside the house part-time . . . I "pretend" to work by consulting online about BFing and that really adds a lot to my life.  There's a reason that DH does bath/bedtime and often the morning stuff too because otherwise I really start to lose it if I'm "on" 24/7... I think a lot of people underestimate how hard it is to SAH all the time--kids take a TON of energy.  Teaching is a little bit comparable--especially with young kids--but even then you get "breaks" during lunch and/or recess and also during specials.  And with older kids you are only "on" for 45-55 mins at a time before you get a mini breathing-break and again you get lunch and preps and stuff.  But yeah it's not easy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 9:57pm
cavenyee wrote:

Since DH just got a new position that makes more money and has better hours, he's seriously considering me staying home now. Big change, because he used to hate his job so much that he wanted me to keep working but him stay home.

Anyway, this is a whole new direction I hadn't really even thought about. So a few questions:

1. What's a normal type of routine?

He wakes up 6amish, nurse, pee, play in room, throw books/toys at us while we try to sleep

7-8am--breakfast, most often DH gives before work ever since I got pregnant.

8-9am watch Sesame Street alone in our babyproofed and gated living room while I continue sleeping (Mom-guilt-shame but I'm trying to grow another baby, too, so I can't feel that guilty).  I used to take him on a walk in the stroller during this time, tho!

9:30ish, I have gotten up by now, usually he's peed/pood in the potty again by now, he has a snack in the living room.\

10-11am--go somewhere (library, playground, playdate), or play outside.

11:15--Lunchtime in high chair

11:45--try potty, put on diaper, go up to bedroom, read books, nurse

12-2/3 naptime

3-3:30: Another snack in living room

3:30-5:30--errands, get-togethers with non-Mom friends

5:30--Watches TV (His current thing is Dora) while I make dinner unless I am too lazy and I just wait for DH to come home and make it

6:30--Eat dinner

7--(DH does this while I take some me time)--bath, diaper, books, bottle (but we'd nurse if I had any milk to give!  He needs a "snack" right before bed though and my ladies are dry as a bone at this point)

8-8:30--Asleep and we're free at last!!

 

2. How do you get anything done with a clingy kid? Peter is the type who literally holds my hand as I walk room to room. I don't have to play with him; he just doesn't want to be left alone.

Again, TV helps a lot--also I think part of the clingy-ness is that he ISN'T with you 24/7--he might get a little more relaxed if you were home for good.

Me and DH usually (try) to clean up the kitchen a bit after he goes to bed--then ideally we'd fold laundry together while we watch TV.  

I usually try to start and move along the laundry in the morning, and I will clean the kitchen up (ie, load and unload dishwasher) while he eats lunch.  Since he's strapped down in that room at that time.  

I usually eat and tidy the livingroom after he's napping.

All this "usually" stuff is like in my ideal world/some of it happens some of the time.  "Usually" I actually just sit around and watch TV a lot but when I was not pregnant and taking adderall every day all this stuff was a lot more "usual"  LOL.

3. How do you keep yourself connected with other adults?

I try to do stuff out of the house (almost) every day.  Having/making plans with various friends is a big part of my life now.  We go to one library playgroup on Wednesdays (out of town library) and a different library group on Fridays (our own library) --I have a group of other Moms that we try to take turns hosting playgroups every week or two.  The playground is great for random days--there are always other Moms around who are as desperate as I am for social interaction.  Sometimes you can make a permanent friend but even just to have someone to chat with about the kiddos for 15 mins while you stand there pushing swings together is nice.

4. (This one isn't about staying home, per se, but something I worry about) How do you grocery shop with more than one kid?!

 Hahaha you'll have to let me know!!  I would think older one in the seat and younger one in the carseat in the carriage but idk where the groceries will go.  When little one is too old for carseat you could wear them in baby carrier.  When little is old enough to sit in the seat, older one could hold onto the cart . . . as the oldest of 4 I am so programmed to do this that if I shop with DH I hold onto the side of the cart while he pushes.  :/

Thanks, all! We're working the budget to see if we can make this work and still have our house paid off in three more years or so.

I really hope it works out for you guys!  WTG with being in line to pay off your house in that time too, that is amazing!  

 

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