Another Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Another Update
20
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 12:29pm

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been reading/responding to messages. Things are pretty hectic here at the moment :) When things calm down I hope to be able to jump into the PG thread.

So, Evan came home with us on Tuesday! It's been a big learning curve moving from the hospital (with constant help from the nurses) to being on our own. We're having a hard time adjusting, especially me. I've been having a couple break downs per day :S

The biggest concern right now is getting breast feeding established. When we were in the hospital, they were pushing us so hard to make sure Evan was getting 60 mL every 3 hours. Because my milk took a few days to come in, and it took a few more days for the production to ramp up to 60 mL/3 hours, AND because Evan is young and has trouble with his sucking technique, I rarely was even able to try to breast feed.

So, now that we're home, I really want to get it established, but he just loves the bottle because it's so easy. Every time we try, he has a GREAT latch, but just won't suck. It gets very frustrating and sad for me, because I feel like the worst mom ever - that I can't even feed my son.

On top of that, he thinks night time is day time and vice versa. He does cluster feeding from about 12am to 5am - not the best time since that's when we're the most tired.

Anyway, sorry to be such a downer and to complain so much. I guess I'm just in those early days where I feel like I have NO idea what I'm doing and don't think I ever will! Any advice about anything would be really appreciated.

We have lots of new pictures up on my Picasa site if you're interested:

http://picasaweb.google.ca/cassiopeiae77/Evan#

If you got this far, thanks for reading <3





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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 12:48pm

Totally normal!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 12:58pm

Great to hear an update Alyssa!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 1:50pm

Hey Alyssa! Congrats on Evan! He's adorable! What's with us 35-weekers and super fast labor and delivery? :) (I'm not on here nearly as much, so I'm just now seeing all of your posts!)

As a fellow preemie mom, I can assure you that it gets so much better and easier! It was so hard in the hospital with a preemie b/c they really push numbers and amounts and weight. At home, just try to relax and breastfeed as often as he wants to. It was hard that first week or two because preemies are especially sleepy and lazy :), so don't beat yourself up or get too frustrated. With Avery we had to strip her down, blow on her face, tickle her feet to keep her alert. If his latch is great, the suck is sure to follow. (Avery had a hard time learning to suck/swallow/breathe...even full-term babies can have a time catching on with that, so early birds especially can!)

We also had days and nights switched, but that's just super common. Try to get as much sleep during the day as you can and just know that those really bad nights don't last forever. Even now Avery will get up a few times a night to eat, but we're back in bed in 15 to 20 minutes, and that's including burping and a diaper change. Early on, those feeds took like an hour or more each time--exhausting!!

As for cluster feeding....OMG, I feel your pain. I feel like it might be especially bad with preemies--maybe they have "catching up" to do? We'd have nights when all I would do was switch her from one breast to the other from like 7 to midnight. Again, it doesn't last long (a few days on some occasions, but we only had a couple of those "spells") and it doesn't mean you're not making enough milk...it just means they want to eat all. night. long. :)

Anyway, I just mostly wanted to let you know that you're doing great and that I can totally understand what you're dealing with! Just know that it gets SO MUCH EASIER. Even a week or two makes a huge difference. Stick with it and eventually it'll be second nature. Let me know if you have any questions!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 2:27pm

Your post really brings back memories:) Teddy nursed every hour or so- sometimes then for 45 minutes for weeks . It is super normal and it all calms down but it is hard to imagine that at the time! My best advice is to just get some movies, favorite TV shows, books, laptop, munchies and get nice and settled in on the couch or in bed and really just plan on not getting too much sleep the first weeks. I had a lot of trouble sleeping when he slept during the day but that really helps as well.

My emotions were also totally haywire for the first 2-3 weeks- if I had the time I would dig up an old post where I basically said. I breakdown multiple times a day,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 7:19pm

((((Alyssa)))))

My only advice with the breastfeeding is to keep trying. I've mentioned some of our issues here, but not in depth. Essentially, Peter latched correctly once in the hospital, and then never again. I exclusively pumped for the first month, but was barely able to keep up with him. I saw a new LC the day after he turned a month old, and she was able to get him to latch, Once. We tried a nipple shield, and it worked! He has a high palate, and I have large nipples (not the areola; the actual nipple part). The two combined made it nearly impossible for him to latch, and his milk transfer was poor when he did. Since trying the shield, he's had less than 10 bottles in three weeks, and refuses a paci (reverse nipple confusion??).

I say all that to say that you just have to stick with it. Also, don't be afraid to try something if what you're doing isn't working. While I don't want to use the shield forever, it works for now. We're even able to NIP with it. Sure, it takes a little more work to remain modest while getting it in place, but it's doable. Peter has, in the last week, nursed on two different college campuses, two restaurants, three different houses belonging to grandparents, and his uncle's apartment. Not to mention the times in the car when we stopped during the drive to visit everyone.

Keep trying. A former pediatric nurse friend of mine said that she saw many full term (40+ weekers) not get the hang of it until they were three weeks old. That's about when Peter actually started rooting. Give Evan some time. It will eventually work out for you!

As for the mixed up days and nights--just keep pushing through. They eventually can stay awake longer at a time, and it's easier to flip everything then. :)

by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 8:43pm

HUGS!

Avatar for berry81
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 9:35pm

BIG (((HUGS))) ALYSSA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 12:34pm

Hang in there, I don't have any advice for you. Just make sure during the day you are feeding him every few hours (that helped with Gabby's cluster feedings, the more I fed her during the day, the less she fed at night). I also made sure to make sure the lights were on during the day when she was sleeping so she got used to it being day time and eventually she got them figured out.

HUGS> It's hard and I can't imagine cluster feedings from 12 to 5. Try to sleep during the day when he is sleeping, Again I know that's hard, I didn't do that enough and I think that's why I got sick because I got too run down.

Good luck with the breast feeding and if it doesn't work it doesn't mean you aren't a good mom. You are a wonderful mom and doing the best you can and that's all that matters!


I looked at the pictures, what a cutie pie!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 1:29pm

Awww…I love this board so much. Thank you everyone for your kind words and awesome advice. Although it sucks that everyone seems to go through the awful emotional roller coaster and most people have issues BF’ing in the beginning, it’s kind of nice that I know that others have gone through it too. For some reason BF’ing is made out to be this super easy, natural thing, and it so isn’t.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 2:37pm

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, Alyssa!

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