The Business of Being Born?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
The Business of Being Born?
36
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 8:41pm

Hi all,


So after posting an opinion about birth that I thought was quite realistic (messy, smelly, painful), and others seemed to think

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 9:24pm

Jen,


I have watched BOBB twice now and cannot get enough of it. Even if I wasn't planning for a homebirth or using a MW in-general, I would still want to watch it just to make myself as informed as possible. I personally believe every woman who plans to get PG should watch this movie.


Just last night, DH and I got into an argument because he's not 100% gung-ho about our homebirth, yet he has

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 9:36pm

I watched it and it more or less was a curiosity because I was still planning a hospital birth with a midwife. Unfortunately, as you know, the midwife I chose (while highly recommended by a friend) sucked horribly and I didnt get her after all. She left a really bad taste in my mouth about midwives and their professionalism. So I've had a better experience with a doctor. But thats with prenatal care, not actual delivery or birth obviously so my opinion may change after that point. The only beef I have with the hospital so far is their ridiculous U/S policies.

The one thing I enjoyed about the film more was watching the women go thru labor and delivery. It was informative but didnt really change my mind on much, more or less confirmed what I already knew about the system.

And just so you know...how you described birth as smelly, messy and painful is not negative in my opinion. It's realistic. How can it not be those things when there are loads of bodily fluids and functions happening at all once? However out of that pain and mess, is an incredibly beautiful event and beautiful life being brought into the world. I think its great to be hopeful and have a plan rather than go in blind, but I also think its good to be incredibly realistic about it all as well. I think its important to keep an eye on the bigger goal...a happy and healthy mother and child. I enjoy reading birth stories but not many women talking about puking up their guts, having a BM on the table, getting stitched up or postpartum bleeding. Not many women even talk about leaky breasts, gas, vaginal dryness, constipation, or hemorrhoids during pregnancy either. I guess I'm a good with the bad and ugly kind of person and I want to hear it all. And that isn't negative at all, but rather preparedness for the unknown because anything could happen...because lets be honest....as first timers especially, we really DONT have a clue at all how this is gonna go for us, no matter how much we plan and hope and wish for a certain type of labor and birth.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 9:46pm

Jenn - I watched the Business of Being Born and loved it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 10:03pm

I have heard of this movie and now my curiosity is peaked even more. I'll have to rent it. If it shows realistic birth stories, then that is more informative and educational to a FTM than the baby shows on TLC and such, and even more realistic than the typical Hollywood birth scene (i.e. woman screaming bloody murder while she punches and hollers at the DH, etc.)

Is it the type of movie where it exposes the down-and-dirty facts about how things are? Like Supersize Me was for McDonald's, and Sicko was for healthcare?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 10:22pm

I loved the movie personally, and think I would like it even if I wasn't planning a birth center birth. I just think it is important that women know what "normal" really is- and I am sorry it is not the crap you see on TLC with constant "emergency interventions", almost never being able to breastfeed, birth being completely crazy and traumatic, etc.

I mean sure there is being realistic, but when whole countries realities are very different then what is being presented as normal in the States I think it is very important to take a step back and figure out what is really necessary, what isn't necessary, and what may in fact not be good for either mother or baby.

However I also think it is completely possible to have a beautiful (med-free -if a med-free birth is wanted) birth in a hospital setting with an OB, especially if you have done your research and your partner can be an advocate for you in the case that it is necessary.

---Is it the type of movie where it exposes the down-and-dirty facts about how things are? Like Supersize Me was for McDonald's, and Sicko was for healthcare?

Yes:) Although like any movie clearly they are presenting "their" side, but really a book is the best place for further research and facts.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 10:40pm

Obviously both the TLC shows (which I seldom watch) and the movie are heavily edited for both entertainment purposes and to create a bias. I think that has to be kept in mind as well. I think most of us would agree that a woman's body is meant to give birth without many of the unnecessary interventions that Western medicine can box us into and create for us instead of letting our babies, bodies and minds create the experience.

I think books are a great resource but my best resource has been other friends and family that have shared their experiences with me. A friend of mine was quite open about how her labor and birth went how she intended (un-med, few interventions, sense of empowerment and achievement) but she also talked about the dirty aspects (vomiting, pain, and hemorrhaging) as well. Another friend wanted a med-free birth but ended up with a c-section and she spoke a lot about that affected her difficulties with bonding and breastfeeding. Other women I know also speak at length about the pain and dealing with it as best they could during the time. Those stories are definitely more helpful than any tv show or movie in my experience.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 11:54pm

I just meant books are the best resource for facts. Personally I wouldn't ask a friend, just like I wouldn't ask my mom (even though she is a nurse), whether she thinks eye drops are necessary for newborns. This is something where facts are the best indicator for the choices I will make.

In terms of birth and pregnancy, all the books I have talk about everything. Pooping, vomiting, emergency procedures that can come up, etc. So I haven't found them to be missing anything, or just showing one side of pregnancy and birth. I also have a lot of books that focus on care after the birth and talk about things like issues with breastfeeding,etc. But to be fair I have over 30 books on pregnancy, birth, and life with baby so I am not just looking at one source LOL.

Of course friends can be a great resource as well. Especially if you have friends on a similar wavelength:) You are lucky to have so many friends and family that talk to you about it and can share their experiences with you.

I guess for me language is important. So I wouldn't consider any part of birth "dirty" that for me takes on a negative spin that I don't want/need for my mental picture or vision of birth. The words we use can have a large impact on our subconscious so I just tend to phrase things in such a way that they are positive for me, if that makes sense. So even though I am just as aware of the vomiting or pooping which may occur during the birth process as the next person, I will probably be thinking about it and referring to it in a different way:)For example vomiting is a good indicator that the birth is proceeding well and that transition may be occurring- so I would say that means I am one step closer to meeting my son:D

P.S. In Business of Being Born the one producer did talk about some attachment/nursing issues that she thought came about due to the emergency C-section, which sounds similar to what your friend experienced.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Wed, 12-02-2009 - 1:05am

You do bring up a good point. Why would you watch something that may just upset you? Well, there may well be things that will upset you in the movie, but most of them are in the distant past. I thought it was really cool how they showed the history of childbirth. It really shows you what a long we have come, even as it points out the further distance we have yet to go. Yes, it focuses on the differences between home & hospital births a lot, but one of the home births winds up transferring to the hospital. So you get to see how the hospital is needed.


Personally, I wish it had been around when I had my first. It's the best childbirth education movie I've ever seen in many ways. It certainly does show some very real labor & deliveries. Maybe if I had seen it before I would have better understood how things work in the hospital & been able to make better choices during labor.


So my suggestion is to go ahead & watch it, being prepared that it's not all sunshine & roses, but it's not all coal either. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Wed, 12-02-2009 - 3:57am

ooh I like this Noel!!! :)


--->being prepared that it's not all sunshine & roses, but it's not all coal either.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Wed, 12-02-2009 - 8:31am

FWIW, the topic of hospitals and the monitoring, etc, they do, came up in discussion with one of the midwives I interviewed. She suggested to me that a lot of the concerns that have been raised around "medicalized births" are specific to the United States. Having said that...I took her opinion with a grain of salt because I have heard that a particular hospital in my city has a really high rate of c-sections due to the doctors' approach.

On a more positive note, a good friend of mine was planning a home birth earlier this year, but ended up needing to have a hospital birth when her water broke at 33.5 weeks. (Midwives in Ontario will only deliver low-risk births at 37 weeks or more.) She expressed that even though she was in a hospital, she was able to have the birth she wanted, in terms moving around freely during labour, going unmed, etc. She had a doula who helped her through it all.

I guess all this is to say that, whatever you hear or read about problems with hospital births...I would note as something to inquire about regarding your local hospital, but I wouldn't automatically assume that it applies at your local hospital (or Canada in general, for that matter.)

And PS, I also know at least two people (in different parts of Ontario) who were wait-listed for midwives until their third trimesters. They both felt strongly about having a midwife and called the offices regularly to inquire if any openings had come up...eventually, they both got in.


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