In a Funk

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In a Funk
11
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 2:14pm

This is a vent post - so feel free to ignore it.....

I just cannot seem to get out of this funk at work...I really need to change my attitude. But I don't like getting up in the morning and go into work - in the past I didn't, but this is different. I don't think it's depression because I am happy in everything else in my life, but part of me is starting to wonder if that's what it is.

I am thinking I am going to schedule an appointment with my therapist to try to get in and see her in the next week or so. Because I really don't know what to do about it.

When I am not at work I am great (besides a few hormonal breakdowns here and there). DH and I are doing pretty good - except in the bedroom area. When I am at work I want to be doing everything but working. I don't like the projects I am on, I don't feel a sense of pride in what I am doing or delivering at work. Which in turn is making me feel like a total slacker. I would rather read the newspaper, be on here or facebook then be at work. I LOVE the work from home days because I can do stuff around the house. This isn't like me.....GRRR only 3 months, I can make it 3 months can't I?

Thanks for listening.









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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 2:34pm

I totally, TOTALLY hear ya. I took a position as an "in the meantime" thing, and it looks like I'll be here for a while. So, I'm doing stuff that is NOT what I want to be doing. I find it really hard to motivate myself at work, and honestly, I've been slacking off way more than I should! LOL But, I just can't bring myself to care about anything that I'm doing.

Thankfully, my supervisor has given me a couple other things to do here and there that I have actually enjoyed, but for the most part I cannot stand my job. I must think "I hate being here" 10 times a day, if not more.

But, when I start looking for new jobs, I get all flustered. For one, there aren't many (if any) jobs out there that I am looking for (I want to get into education/outreach in some capacity). Second, I don't want to apply for a job, get it, and then have to leave in just a few months.

So, basically my plan is to just stick it out here until November, and then promise myself to never come back! I will either a) start looking for jobs during the year maternity leave I have (I get paid 55% of my salary for a year thanks to the Canadian government), or b) go back to school for something where I can actually find a job afterward (I'm thinking accounting - don't laugh, I actually find it interesting! LOL).

Anyway, I have no advice but to just hang in there. It's only a few more months. My guess is you're so excited about the baby coming that work is just boring/pointless right now. I do think it'd be a good idea to see a therapist though, just to make sure nothing more serious is going on (I'm guessing not though because, like you said, you're happy with everything else).

Hang in there! You're not alone!





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:16pm

Thanks Alyssa, I know it's just probably me thinking about the baby more often than I probably should. We have our group counseling session tonight, so I will probably bring it up there and see what happens.....I don't want to leave my job at the moment, because I have a flexible schedule, I get to come and leave when I want as long as my work get's done and I am in the office most hours. I get two days to work from home and plus while I am on maternity leave and transitioning back I get to work from home also, so it's hard to leave that all behind....

This might be TMI - but DH and I had sex last night and it was ehh. We tried a different position because of my ever expanding belly and normally the position works, but this time it really sucked. We were on the chair and my legs started to hurt, he was pushing on my belly way too much. we have tried me at the end of the bed and that just hurts. My next attempt will be doggie style and I HATE that. He said we could try to be more intimate in other ways so hopefully that makes me feel close to him.

I absolutely LOVE being pregnant its the most amazing thing in my life that I have done and the most exciting thing, but there is about 10% of things that just plain SUCK!









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Registered: 12-18-2007
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:18pm

(Hugs)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:32pm

Sigh on the sex thing too - our sex life has been completely non-existent since I found out I was PG. First it was feeling like hell for so many weeks. Now there are two problems:

1. I think we've gotten used to not doing it that we're not even trying right now

2. I know it sounds dumb, but I'm scared to do it! I'm worried that it will cause bleeding and that will totally freak me out. I know it's safe, blah, blah, blah, but I just can't get over the fear that something might happen.

Ugh --- poor DH!

Anyway, I hope you have better luck finding a position that works for you. I'm not a huge fan of doggy style either - it doesn't do anything for me.





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Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:58pm

Leona - It must be a pregnancy thing that we just want to be with our babies and get ready for them that we can't think about anything else.

Alyssa - About the sex thing....I was that way until it was later on in the pregnancy (Granted I didn't go through what you had gone through), but then during the 2nd trimester I was in the mood all the time and we had a pretty good sex life. But now the belly is getting in the way and it's just uncomfortable, and only going to get worse..

Love pregnancy and hate little parts of it ;)









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Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 8:58am
I hope you are right about my libido coming back in the 2T. DH and I haven't been very close at all in the 1T - I feel very claustrophobic, so I even don't like to be hugged or cuddled much. I feel bad, but I also don't want to have to feel uncomfortable.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 6:03pm

Alyssa and Jess. I totally understand you about the lack of libido... It comes and goes during pregnancy.
If the belly is all that is in your way and doggie style isn't your thing (isn't a fave of mine either), I recommend spooning... it leaves the belly out of it, and it's a "rested" kind of position, which is also good once you get big and uncomfortable. Besides, the guy can't get very deep, so that might be the solution for your concerns Alyssa.
I don't want to pressure you girls, but if you are ever on the mood during PGcy, do it! Once the baby comes, you won't have much time, energy or libido for it!

(I love the blue flowers siggy Alyssa!, who made it?)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 8:02pm
Thanks Mari! Anne on Signature Making for Beginners made it. They have these free-for-all siggie offers. A maker creates a siggie, and then you can get it made with your name/photo/text. Check it out! I've gotten a ton of siggies from there the last few weeks.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 10:40pm

Jessica,


I think what you're going through is completely normal. I went through something similiar when it was about 3 months before my leave started. I have a horrible boss and I used to sit right outside of her office (which I used to call 'the firing zone' because she would come out and harp on everyone who sat

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
In reply to: lady_bug_0600
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 7:17am
Thanks Christine - it seems like it's a bit more than I was thinking. My midwife put me on an anti-depressant that I started last night to see if that helps...things came to a major head on Tuesday night, so hopefully this helps.








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