Need advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Need advice...
4
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 9:03am

One of the ladies that I work with just found out yesterday at her first u/s that she's had a miscarriage. Her EDD was about 3.5 weeks after me.

What can I do to make it less awkward for her? I know if it were me, being around someone PG would absolutely kill me, but it's not an option. There are only 8 people in our office, and she and I work directly together on most projects.

Thanks in advance!

12-22-09



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
In reply to: cavenyee
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 12:16pm

Just take your cues from her. And try not to be too talkative about babies and stuff :)


Personally it wouldn't bother me all that much. More painful would be when my

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: cavenyee
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 12:31pm

Oh, that's such awful news :( My heart goes out to her. I hope she can find strength in her loved-ones in this difficult time.

So, when I had my m/c I found the worst things people could do would be a) tell me all the stats about how it will go well next time, or b) ignore it.

If she wants to talk about it, let her talk about it. I talk about my pregnancy like it was...well, just that...a pregnancy. I've talked to friends about morning sickness, fatigue, etc., because I've been through it too.

I'd also ask her how she's doing from time to time, and if there's anything you can do to help. She'll probably say she's fine, and won't want you to do anything, but it's so important that she knows that people are thinking about her and her baby. The worst thing about it (for me) is that life just seems to go on, and it seems so cruel when you're going through such a difficult time.

She'll probably feel really sad to be around other pregnant ladies, but I find I was (am) more uncomfortable when I see random PG women on the street...not my friends/co-workers. So, it might be awkward in the beginning, but it probably won't last long.

Hope that helps!





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
In reply to: cavenyee
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 1:26pm
I agree with Alyssa I always appreciated when people asked how I was doing from time to time and if they could offer to help when I went through my miscarriage last year. I never took them up on the offer of help but it was nice that they acknowledged me. I also agree that it was much harder to see random pg ladies on the street or in the store and almost had a break-down in Target when a huge pregnant lady was in front of me but it did get better. I had co-workers around me who were pregnant and though I was still a little sad it did not make me as sad as seeing pregnant ladies in the stores. I think just acknowledging by asking how she is doing once in awhile is great and was always nice to hear from my perspective.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: cavenyee
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 4:53pm
For me it helped to just know that my coworkers, family, friends were there if/when I needed them.
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