Why am I bummed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Why am I bummed
8
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:02am

It must be the pregnancy hormones.

Everyone has decided based on my FB profile pic (which is the one I posted in the pregnancy pics thread) that I am having a boy.

We so want a girl... and it seems like everyone (except DS) wants us to have a girl as well.

Don't get me wrong, boys are great. DS is a lot of fun. But I really want to experience having both, KWIM. And we had agreed early on that if we don't have a girl this time around we would defiantly try for another.

And I know they are all old wives tales about having boys and girls, etc... but I don't know... I just don't like hearing it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:21am

I can relate somewhat. I desperately wanted a girl for my first because my DH's family is FULL of boys (his one grandma has 7 grand boys, no grand daughters) and while there are a few girls, there are still more boys. I figured if I got a girl first, I wouldnt be upset later if we had boys. Now I worry I'll never get a little girl. Everybody in DH's family thought I was having a girl as well and looking back, it was definitely all wishful thinking.

The pressure is ON for someone to have a girl and I hear it so much now that we have Maxim. They LOVE our son and I am hopelessly in love with him and would never trade him for a girl but it makes me seriously anxious about having a girl next time. They are really laying it on thick and one of these days I might just snap on them. They always quantify their statement with "well we still love Maxim, but we dont have any girls." Gee that makes it better!? **shakes head** And then I think about my BIL and SIL having a girl and that child over shadowing other boys in the family....I just think they should be treated with equal love and excitement regardless of sex.

Plus one of his aunts has said "You're just going to have all boys, just like the rest of us." Which bugs me too because I do want a daughter and I know I'll be so (temporarily) disappointed if we dont have a girl.

Anyway, I dont have any advice....people always seem to want the opposite of what you have and always make comments that effect...if youre a family full of girls, they would want a boy....it sucks, and I wish people would just be quiet about it. Its not like we have any control over choosing the sex of our babies, ya know? Hugs Kate!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:42am
Aaah Kate, gender disappointment is a bummer. But don't let it get you down if people say that just because of the way you carry! IMO there's absolutely no hard and fast rules as to what a bump shape tells you about baby's gender.
Seeing as you're Green Team, are you not tempted to find out now? With Teddy I really wanted to find out before the birth as DH so much wanted a daughter. This way he had time to overcome his disappointment before baby arrived. Just a thought!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:48am

EVERYONE thought my Mom was having a boy when she was pregnant with me. EVERYONE told her that based on how she was carrying (etc etc), that I would be a boy.

But then I was born, a girl. My parents (and everyone else) were SHOCKED and practically asked them to check again.

Just goes to show that there is NO truth in the "how you are carrying" thing.

I have had people tell me I MUST be having a boy because of how I am carrying, and others tell me I MUST be having a girl because of how I am carrying . . .

It's all just BS, don't let it get to you. When he/she is born, you will fall right in love no matter what.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2008
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:05am

I agree with Adrienne--the way you carry has nothing to do with the gender! One of the women I worked with was PG at the same time as me last time and based on the way we both carried, everyone pegged her for having a boy and me for a girl. It ended up being the opposite!

I can really relate to wanting a girl this time too--we are planning on having at least one more, but I really want this one to be a girl so I'm not feeling like it's my last chance the next time around. Every time I read something-like the Chinese Gender chart-that says boy I get irritated, even though I know I'll be ok if it really is a boy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:04pm

Oh, I hear ya! I had so many people tell me we were having a boy or a girl based on random things - even the same thing! For example, I had people telling me I was going to have a boy because I was carrying high --- and then I had people tell me I was going to have a girl because I was carrying high :P It's annoying.

I, along with DH and a lot of other people (about 70% according to the poll on my blog) were convinced the baby was a girl. Honestly, I was hoping for a girl too. So, when we found out the baby is a boy it took some time for me to get used to it. I cried the first night after we found out because I was so sure.

Anyway, don't really have that much advice. Just know that everyone loves to share their opinions on these things, but they're based on nothing.








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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:16pm

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories.

DH's brothers both have DDs, so you would think we would be predisposed to have a girl. But Murphy's Law would say it's a boy, right.

My insurance doesn't cover the anatomy scan, and we've decided against going to get a "gender US".

And all of the Chinese gender charts, etc point to a girl... but they did for DS as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:37pm

Kate, I carried exactly the same for Desmond and Eloise, actually other then my cravings/aversions and heartburn my symptoms were exactly the same too, even down to morning sickness. This one is even worse because I have some of the same cravings I had with Desmond and some I had with Eloise and some of the same aversions from both of them. I do have heartburn earlier then I had it with Eloise, but other then that there is no difference between this one and the previous two, and I am carrying almost exactly the same way I did with both of them.

There is no way to tell 100% until the baby arrives, or if you have an amnio or CVS test, even ultrasounds can be wrong. Wives tales are just that tales, for every tale that says xyz there is one that says the opposite.

As for me, the Chinese Gender Chart said DS would be a girl, DD would be a girl and this one will be a girl, but honestly there is no way to know till they are here. There is one Chinese Gender Chart that was right for both DS and DD, rather then the generic one, but I don't really believe the gender determination till I see my baby anyways. I really won't worry about people telling you that you are carrying xyz so it must be a boy or a girl, because there is no way to tell.




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Thank you for the sig Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 12:38am

OMGosh, I could have written your post a few months ago!!

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