I've got the fever ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
I've got the fever ...
8
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 11:20am

Ahhh .. oh no .. I got bit by the bug! :-/

Dh and I had originally DTT again for baby #3 around this time of a year .. we wanted a Spring baby this time around. :) Our TTC start day was suppose to be next month. I Haven't been back on BC since having my son in Oct 08. (after a failed attempt at the IUD in Dec 08 .. I only had it in 1 1/2 months!) So that wasn't really a concern.

As most of you know Dh and I have had a lot of issues lately and we aren't even really "together" right now ... yes we are still married & semi living together .. it's just complicated and I don't want to be pregnant in a complicated situation. But I REALLY want to be pregnant .. you kwim .. lol Ugh ... I am surprised at myself because even a month or so ago I didn't even think I wanted to have another baby, I felt fine with 2. Another reason why I know I should probably wait because I am going back and forth to two extremes!

So I started charting to torture myself I guess ... :-/

I've talked with Dh a little about TTC and he doesn't want anything to do with it! :(
But then again he doesn't do anything to prevent it and we talk about it ALL the time and I say how I want to get preggers ALL the time lately .. and he knows I would never be opposed to it and I ask him why he isn't more careful and he just shrugs it off.

It's really just not good timing for us to have another baby right now .. between the talk of divorce and separation and the fact that I am going back to school in the fall and I have a big vacation planed in 2011.
I have been trying to do whatever I can to keep my mind of being pregnant again but I just can't! :-/
It sucks. I know charting is not going to help me much .. I am just going to know when I am ovulating and I don't want Dh to think that I am trying to trick him into having a baby, because I would never do that. If it happens it happens but I don't want to go out of my way to make it happen right now ... but I know if I know my ovulation days .. I might want to ... Ugh ..

I haven't told Dh I am charting .. He gets really freaked out about baby talk .. always has .. he scares easy. And now I feel bad or like I am hiding something from him. Should I tell him?! I mean it's harmless if I chart right?!

I hate being so torn about things ... I mean I know TTC is out of the question right now ... but I don't have to feel bad about hoping it happens anyways right?! I don't know why I feel so crummy about the whole thing then?!

I guess I'm a little sad and jealous of all the BFPs lately between here and my personal circle of friends/family etc. I know I have a lot going on and a lot to look forward to but I can't help but think that a baby was suppose to be in my future in 2011, it's hard to erase that from my mind! :-/
Even with a lot of things being stacked against me and telling me it's not the right time ... I'm ready! :( And logically that just doesn't make sense, Ugh .. I'm so annoyed with myself right now. :-/

*big sigh* Thanks for listening .. I just had to vent that out someplace and I know you ladies will understand!!
And not think I have totally gone bonkers! ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 11:32am

Alyson--I can only imagine how hard it must be to have baby fever so bad and yet to know logically it probably isn't a good idea--it sounds like you and DH need to be able to focus on each other right now and a baby would probably make that really hard--but that doesn't make it any easier for you!


But I think you are right, if a few weeks ago you felt fine with two, I would definitely wait a few weeks and see how you feel again--maybe your baby fever will have disappeared by then!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 3:11pm

Alyson - I was in your situation a a little over a year ago. DH and I were together, but TTC wasn't on the agenda what so ever. My Baby Fever was crazy. I would lay in bed at night and just freak out because I wasn't able to start TTC and thats' all i wanted in life.

A few things and you can take them or leave them. Like Adrienne said I think that you and your DH need to focus on you and like you mentioned you were okay with 2 a few weeks ago so I would wait around.

I had to stop talking about TTC, I left the boards for awhile, I really had to just leave it be and get it out of my mind for awhile, because we weren't in a place where I could justify bringing a life into this world. We were on the verge of a divorce and with his addiction I wanted to make sure he was on the road in recovery.

A question if I were you that I would be asking myself is what is charting helping with? If it were me it would drive me crazy..but just something to ask yourself. If you do keep charting I think you need to tell your DH.

Good luck!! I hope you can figure things out. I know it's hard, hang in there. DH and I were on the verge of divorce and we got some help and now are doing well and having our first little one. so you just never know. Wherever life takes you know that it's the right thing for the time and things will work out one way or another.









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Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 3:43pm

Thanks Adrienne and Jessica, for the responses!

I guess I was looking to vent more then anything, I already know the right awnsers but I just need a place to let it out. Thank goodness for ivillage. I'm glad to have you girls to lean on when I'm having a weak moment! :) And I also get to live vicariously through your pregnancies! hehe! ;)

I totally get what you both are saying about waiting ... I don't plan on rushing into anything .. I guess maybe I am charting just to get more in tune with my cycle ... I started thyroid meds not to long ago .. so I am sure the doctor will not be thrilled if I get pregnant right now either .. until we get my meds right! If it starts really getting me down though .. I'll stop!

I guess I am still trying to figure a lot of stuff out in my head. I appreciate you all listening to my rambles! :-/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 4:09pm
Alyson - I don't have any advice, but I hadn't heard about your situation with DH until now and wanted to pass on many (((hugs))) and positive thoughts. I hope that you and DH are able to figure things out and move forward, and know that we're here to support you whatever happens.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 4:47pm
I feel so bad that you are going through this...its not fun! Hang in there and I think your idea of charting to get in tune with your cycle is a good idea, especially with using it to prevent.
((((HUGS)))) hang in there!








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Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 6:58pm
((HUG)) that is tough.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 7:40pm
Thank you for sharing Kate ... I'm sorry you had to go through that, I feel exactly the same way! Thxs ... *hugs*
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Sat, 04-10-2010 - 7:01am
Alyson, you can ramble all you like! We are here to listen to you.
It must be so hard for you at the moment. I do hope, for you and your children, that you and DH find a way to work things out and stay together.
Baby fever is pretty unbearable even at the best of times, so I can only imagine how you must suffer!
Lots of (((hugs))) for you!

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