Jenni & David - TTC #1
Yay! A new month! Thanks for setting it up, Jenni. I can't believe it's nearly October - totally crazy how fast this past year has gone.
I got a load of EWCM this afternoon, so we're going to start GOFO'ing ED until my temps go up. Hopefully we'll catch the eggie with good timing, but we'll see.
Other than that, we're going to pick up DH's car tonight!
Thanks to Katie, Tara, and Joelle for my wonderful siggies!
Well ladies... I decided I needed a TTC break. It hurt my and DH's sex life a LOT more than I would have liked last month, and it seems that any month I chart I can find reasons to have high hopes (those of you who have been following for a while know it too ;-) ).
I sincerely miss the pre-TTC times when we just DTD when we wanted to, and I didn't spend the whole month somewhat thinking about TTC (have I Ovulated yet, to am I PG, to is this my AF... rinse and repeat).
So... I made the decision today that I need a month to seriously purge all TTC thoughts out of my head, and that includes taking another break from charting. It also includes taking a break from the boards. I have truly come to look at you ladies as friends, and at the end of the month, I'll come check back in and give you a status update, and see if I need to keep away from all things TTC or if I can go back into it.
My co-worker friend agrees that part of the problem for me is that I do just think about it too too much, and that alone keeps me stressed, and that could be hurting my chances. But even if not charting or anything hurts my chances this month, that is a risk I am willing to take to try to get back to what normal was before all of this TTC stuff started. I am honestly not even going to try to figure out when I will O... this month, we are just going to do it if and when we want to, even if none of them occur at the right time.
Anyways... here starts my month off from all things TTC... I'll check back with you lovely ladies at the end of October, and I hope to see lots of great news this month!
I know I've only been in the TTC game for just over a month now (although in my 2nd cycle), but I totally hear where you're coming from (see below). I'm sure the time away from the boards and charting will definitely help you relax, and hopefully you and DH can just have some fun this month. We will miss you, so come back and update us!
AFM - I'm really really bad at this TTC thing. I saw a huge amount of EWCM yesterday afternoon, so I told DH that we needed to GOFO in the evening. Well, when it came time, I just could NOT get into it, no matter how hard we tried. In fact, it was like I was getting more turned OFF than anything :( Then I got so frustrated with myself I honestly started sobbing (not exactly an ideal way to start). So, we missed yesterday.
Now my temp went up this morning, and I'm freaking out that we missed our opportunity again this month (the same thing happened last month, coupled with DH being sick). I'm just hoping my temp went up artificially (it was really warm last night in our apartment), and that we still have a couple more days before I actually O.
In any case, I'm not really sure what to do. I know I need to "relax", but that's a heck of a lot easier said than done.
Has anyone else felt like this? What do you do - just not GOFO, or do you power through (and how do you do that if you do)?
Argh - this is a lot harder and more stressful than I thought it would be. I really thought we'd just have sex a few times before I O, and it'd be that easy. Now I'm not so sure we're even going to have a chance this month :S
Lisa - I hope that taking the month off from all things TTC helps you and DH's sex life as well as you stress levels.
Megan - I do think sharing my feelings/frustrations with someone other than DH really helps me. And don't worry about giving advice! We're all in the same boat here, no matter how long we've been TTCing, so any opinions and suggestions are welcome!
I totally agree with you on not being sure how to power through. Last night I was so at the point where I was thinking that I didn't want to deal with this at all. Like, let's put his sperm in a syringe, and do it that way! ROFL!!! It's terrible, because I quite enjoy GOFOing at other times, but I feel like this TTC thing is kind of ruining that.
After this morning though, we decided to just accept that TTC GOFO'ing might not be as good as normal GOFO'ing. Perhaps with that in mind we can relax a bit, and look forward to the rest of the month besides those few days before I O.
That's so awful that you're so stressed out at work! What's going on? Is it just a lot of stuff you have to do, or are there personal things going on as well? In any case, I hope the stress levels off soon - panic/anxiety attacks are no fun (I've had a few).
"Has anyone else felt like this? What do you do - just not GOFO, or do you power through (and how do you do that if you do)?"
Yes, I have and do on a regular basis. Here is the golden rule DH and I play by: at any point I can choose to change my mind and stop any/all activities (so if I'm not sure how I feel about wanting it, I can "try" it on with NO expectations that we will finish!)
We will also lay on the bed and have one of those remember-how-we-felt-when-this-was-new conversations...sometimes we do it naked, sometimes not. There is absolutely NO expectation it will turn to sex (see above rule!) but more often than not it does. We also take hot bubble baths together...lay in front of the fireplace and play "moments of our history that gave me x"...LOL...
so my point? just focus on connecting with each other and allow the physical to happen IF you want it to. If you start 5 days before your predicted O date (after a few mos temping this should be easier to guess) than you may end up with 2-3 days in the fertile period. And that is really all you need :)
Thanks Dee!! I like your no expectations rule. DH doesn't pressure me, but sometimes I really feel that if we start up that we need to finish. So, perhaps if we both had the idea of no expectations in our head, I'd feel a lot better. DH has been very supportive during this TTC phase; he's been very understanding if I can't go through with GOFOing or whatever.
I also like your point about not having to do it every single day. That was kind of my initial game plan, but I just don't think it'll happen with us. So, if we GOFO every second day for 5-6 days before, then it's not too bad.
Anyway, thanks again for your advice - it really made me feel better!