Brother is now a single full time daddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Brother is now a single full time daddy
4
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 7:13pm

I had mentioned that my brother has a baby daughter who is almost 7 months old now and the mother and him are not together. My brother decided about a month ago to file papers in the courts to have things actually in writing and they decided to do share custody so both of them had her 50% and neither owned child support this way. Well a couple of days ago she sends my brother a text telling him she doesn't want Kynslee (the baby) anymore and wants to give up her rights! She said that when she dropped her off she would bring all of Kynslee's things with her and that she would sign whatever papers needed to be signed.

So yesterday she actually did just that and my brother spoke to his attorney and was told that the mom can sign whatever papers but they won't hold up in court if she ever decided to change her mind again. Instead my brother will have full custody and will be the decision maker for Kynslee and her mom will have basically no say and will also have to pay some child support.

I just can't imagine what she must be thinking. Who does this???? It is just awful and it breaks my heart that a mother would actually decide after 7 months that she doesn't want her baby. I know it can't be easy being a single mom but my brother had Kynslee every other week so it wasn't like she didn't get any break. I know my brother will do a great job taking care of Kynslee and my parents are close for help and support which is good.

I was able to spend several days with my brother and Kynslee during the holidays and she is such a sweetie and has a great personality and is so happy which makes it even harder to fathom how she could decide to do this not that it would ever make sense to me. DH and I even talked about us adopting her if my brother wasn't able to do it but I think he will be just fine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 7:20pm

When did the problems between her and your brother start? If it was when she was pregnant, I wonder if she doesn't have some kind of serious PPD/hormonal imbalance. I have heard of multiple women having PG freak-outs where they plan to leave their husband/partner and then after the baby is born everything is magically okay--I have also heard of people who get PPD and then can't deal with the fact of the baby--

Maybe she has both?

I know someone posted on WTT at some point and said that they wanted to give their baby up for adoption--they had gotten PG by mistake and tried to convince themselves it would be okay but after the baby was born the Mom just wanted out! The baby was only a month old when she posted it, though, and we all encouraged her to talk to her doctor about whether PPD could be causing her feeling.

Idk, other than that, I DON'T know what would make a mother leave her baby.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 8:26pm

I wanted to wish all the best to your brother. I hope he is able to file the required paperwork with the courts and everything gets taken care of legally. Being a single parent is not easy, but (at least for me) it is easier than trying to parent with someone who doesn't want to parent.

You (nor your brother) will ever know why his X has made the decisions she did. you can never walk in someone elses shoes, no matter how much you think about it or analyze it. Don't get yourselves broken up the why and what ifs, instead focus on the positive and your wonderful niece. I hope your brother is able to get all of the support he needs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 8:36pm
I agree with Kate and hope that your brother gets all the support he needs to raise his daughter. She really is the #1 focus in all the mess and no matter what the mother does, your brother just needs to focus his energy on his daughter.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 9:10pm

Ashley,


I am so sorry and shocked to read this but I am glad that legally, everything will be straightened out and hopefully your brother will get the financial support he deserves. On the bright side, better that the mother recognize she is unfit to care for the child now than to raise her in a dangerous environment and expose her to God-knows-what kind of lifestyle.


I'll say a prayer for your brother and