Creating a Will

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Creating a Will
7
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 1:06am

I have been thinking really hard about needing to get a will started now that we have Simon just in case something happens. DH and I watches "Life as we know it" tonight and so I started working on it through a site through work that I get for free.

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 2:08pm
We're getting wills put together right now. We only picked one couple (DH's sister and her husband) - that's all our lawyer suggested. I mean, what would be the chances of both of us dying AND them both dying? We chose them because basically they're the only family that could do it. That sounds bad, but we don't want our parents because of their age, and my brother and his wife live overseas. We didn't want to choose friends, so as to keep Evan in the family.

As far as making sure your family is still involved, you would just have to trust that would happen. However, I'm sure you could make stipulations in your will about that.

Good luck. It's not really a fun process, but it's really a good thing to do!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 4:11pm
We were looking at two families not so much if Simon's Godparents passed but if something came up in there life that they chose not to or just flat out couldn't care for Simon. I don't want him put in foster care or anything because we didn't have a back up plan for the plan. You know what I mean?

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 4:18pm
Ah! We don't have Godparents, so I don't really know what it's all about. I assumed that was a legally binding thing, but I guess not so much.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 7:38pm
God parents are not legally binding at all. That is an relationship between them, your child and their faith. It is important to ask your potential guardians if they are actually willing to raise your children if you are to pass before your kids are legal adults. Its also important to tell your guardians that should you deem them unfit at any time (relationship between you and them falls apart, a deal breaker issue arises like addiction) that you reserve the right to change and they also have the right to say no or back out at any time.

We chose my BIL and SIL as guardians for a few complicated reasons. One our son is born Canadian but has American family as well so it only makes sense for him to be raised by his Canadian family in Canada. So that eliminates my side entirely. My other BIL is not in a place right now to raise a child so that leaves BIL and SIL.

However, BIL is the ONLY guardian stated in the will. This is to protect Maxim if my BIL and SIL should ever divorce. This way, SIL cant claim anything financially or in a custody dispute. We trust our SIL to raise him but we still account for this possibility. Also we expect that DH's brother will raise our children in a similar manner and they also know it is very important that our children know my family as well.

Also our financial guardian/executor is a completely separate person as well. This is to protect our estate and Maxim's interests from . It is clear in the will that 1/3 of the estate will go to BIL for the sole purpose to offset the costs of raising Maxim. The rest will go to Maxim in increments at appropriate ages. This way, our money isnt being used to raise BIL's kids or for other potentially nefarious dealings but is for our children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 8:55pm
Cassie - Your post is very timely because DH and I are looking into a lawyer to do this for us as well. We haven't gotten into specifics yet, but I'm guessing we'll name his sister and BIL (they have a DS who is 8-1/2 mos younger than Selin) as guardians should something happen to both of us. I don't have any
siblings and the only other person I could think of is my cousin, who is also one of Selin's godmothers, but she has four kids of her own as it is.

GL and let us know what you decide!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 3:58pm
I need to draw up the documents, but I picked my old neighbor. I love her like a sister and they adopted their oldest son. They planned to adopt another but he deployed. They were doing an open adoption too so I know they would make sure that my son would know all his family. My sister was hurt about this. The next person I would chose is one of my stepsons. The youngest would be my first choice based on how he chooses things in his life. I wouldn't chose my sister because she already has 3 kids and doesn't live in a very diverse area. Its a hard decision!!

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Mon, 03-21-2011 - 9:46pm
We haven't formalized wills, but we have decided to ask my sister and her husband to be guardians. We haven't actually asked them though!! We'll have to get on that soon. We chose them because they are young and most importantly, they share our values and our faith.

As for the godparent issue, not everyone thinks of godparents as an automatic choice for guardianship, so make sure they understand your expectation. DH and I are godparents for my best friend's son, and I would be absolutely SHOCKED if she asked us to be guardians in case of tragedy. I would do it in a heart beat, but I don't think she would appoint us.
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