disturbed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
disturbed
8
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 5:22pm
Today I was watching the news and they did this segment on co-sleeping...
Basically they said how bad it was, how it interrupted the couple's intimacy and gave the child a false idea of his/her place in the parent's relationship...
But what scared me was that she said that parents should never have sex with the child in the room... that even if the baby was asleep, you were doing "tremendous damage" to him!!!
Please don't judge me, but I truly thought that if the baby was asleep, it was ok!! I mean, the baby sleeps in his own bed now, and we are not loud or anything, and we keep ourselves under the covers just in case.
Do you think it's harmful??
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 4:27pm
Some of your answers made me LOL!!
Thanks girls for the reassurance! I feel embarrased now, about actually listening to that horrible woman on TV and doubting my instincts!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
In reply to: bailarina2005
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:53am
That is so ridiculous!! Like a baby is going to have any idea what is going on or even remember it for that matter! I'm not a big fan of co-sleeping for myself, it drove me nuts and I never slept as well and neither did she. I didn't like having her in the room when we were DTD though just because she'd make a noise or move around or something and distract me. I love having her in a crib in her own room, we both sleep sooooo much better. But I know it works well for some and you just have to do what works for your family! That's all that matters.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
In reply to: bailarina2005
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 3:08am
My CL would have sex while breast feeding. Her kids are 100% normal and fine. How on earth would a baby who doesn't even know how to walk or talk even know what sex was? We wait until Jensen is sleeping when we do it, but I think before they are a year old they will NEVER remember it anyway.










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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:53pm

Haha, Mari, that is laugh out loud funny! As a therapist I'd say I have definitely worked with couples around the disturbance in their intimacy as a result of cosleeping, but have never even considered having an infant in the room while DTD as detrimental... to the infant anyway (it can seem to be a mood killer esp when the mother is too attuned to the kid or whatever).

that one made me snicker... ;o)

Andi







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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 7:45pm

I really don't think it's anything to worry about. Like PP's said, DTD while a baby is sleeping in the same room would be completely harmless, and babies that young aren't going to understand what's going on if they ARE awake anyway.

Even though we won't be co-sleeping, I agree with Adrienne in that it's more disturbing that the news is being so negative about it. Don't let it make you think twice about your choices.








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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 6:19pm

I agree. You are not harming your sleeping infant (or toddler) by having sex in the same room as them. It's different if the kid is both older AND awake, but its ludicrous to suggest that a sleeping infant has any conception of what is going on or it affects them at ALL.

I'm sort of more disturbed that this news segment would knock co-sleeping so harshly--its just sad because it makes couples without kids prejudice and it makes couples WITH kids who are co-sleeping successfully (like you) question what they have done naturally. >:-(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 6:00pm

Bwhaha, I think you are fine. Let's be honest here there are a ton of cultures where they only have 1 or 2 room houses and they still have children. I won't worry about it at all. I mean if this idea was followed around the world my FIL won't be here considering he is 6 of 7 from a small village in India where they had a 2 bedroom house, and traditionally co-sleep with young children.

Seriously though we've dtd with a sleeping child in the bed before. In probably the TMI section, once in the middle of dtd Desmond woke up and I latched him on to nurse because he was getting fussy. Killed the mood for me and DH, but didn't effect him at all.

I also don't really see how co-sleeping interrupts a couple's intimacy since even if I wasn't co-sleeping DH would likely not be in the same bed as me 80% of the time, because of his snoring and me not being able to sleep through it even before we had small ones. Plus let's be honest here the bed is not the only place in the house to be intimate.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
In reply to: bailarina2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 5:42pm
Give me a break. People have only had separate sleeping areas for their children for the last few hundred years, and in many areas of the world they still don't. James slept in our room until he was 8 months old, and we certainly didn't abstain from sex that entire time, that's just silly. I wouldn't worry about it at all.
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