I need a hug ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
I need a hug ...
11
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 1:56pm

Some of you already know Dh and I have been having some marital issues here for awhile .. while my kids are staying with my mom until we can sort things out. I don't want to put them threw seeing mommy & Daddy fight ..

So We sat down to talk to my mom yesterday about things and I haven't talked to her in about 7 months (we are on very bad terms, I think most of you have heard that before though!) She's so judgmental and pushy sometimes and She was being TERRIBLE yesterday!
she just laid into me yesterday about how bad of a parent I am .. how I have abandoned my family (meaning her side of the family) since I don't participate in family events thats why nobody wants to talk to me. ect. etc. blah blah blah ... And THEN .. Dh drops the bomb that HE wants the kids to go to school up by my moms house until we sort everything out. So they would be moving in with my MOM!

OMG! Are you kidding me? First of all I talked to Dh numerous times BEFORE my mom got there so we would be on the same page about telling her that we were separating etc. and he NEVER mentioned this. I was so Pissed! I can't even explain to you how bad it felt to have that bomb dropped on me. I felt totally blind sided. :( I really don't even know where to go from here. I do not want to be separated from my kids again. WE had to do that at the end of last year when I was hospitalized for my surgery and such ... and it was terrible. I just feel like everybody thinks I am the worst mother and they are trying to get me out. I have like nobody on my side! :(

It was really terrible I didn't even end up talking to them the entire time because I was so upset and crying hysterically and it was one of those from the bottom of our soul cries it was awful! :(

So it went about as bad as it could have gone. :(

I called a lawyer today and I have an apt. tomorrow. I am going to talk to them about a possibly divorce and I have one other thing to check into about international custody laws. I can't believe this is all happening and how quickly! Somedays I think it would be better and maybe Dh and I would really have a chance if we just moved to Peru and left all my family drama behind. That has become a strong consideration for me lately .. but I am still hesitant. It will be interesting to see what the lawyer has to say about the international laws.

Any advice or spare thoughts or prayers you may have would be appreciated! Thanks ladies!

oh .. and some of you may have noticed I suspended my FB account. (I will be back .. no worries!) But I am in need of a FB break right now with all this family drama going on! I needed a couple key people to think I dont have a FB anymore so I can sneak in the middle of the night and block them then re-instate my FB! lol





Photobucket


Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Photobucket

Photobucket
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucket


Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 2:45pm

Alyson I am so sorry this is happening! DH and I haven't had the same relationship since Elena was born and I can't say I haven't fleetingly thought of the "D" word in the back of my mind sometimes, but I don't dream of it ever really happening. I can't believe your mom is treating you this way either! How awful. Best of luck with everything... I hope you can get it straightened out as painlessly and amicably as possible - with everyone! ((((hugs))))



Powered by CGISpy.com
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 2:46pm

(((((HUGS))))) I am sorry you are having to go through all this. I don't know your entire story, but I hope you can get answers from the lawyer.

Hang in there!









Powered by CGISpy.com



Daisypath Anniversary tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 3:07pm
((HUGS)) Sorry you are going through this right now. I wish you all the best in the future.

Photobucket

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 3:13pm
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this - and to have an un-supportive mother on top of it all :( Sending you lots of (((hugs))) and positive thoughts that you will get through this stronger than ever, and you'll be with your kids again soon.




Powered by CGISpy.com







I love the sig offers at SMFB








Powered by CGISpy.com

<
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 4:27pm


I don't know a lot of the details of your situation, but I am always happy to send a sincere cyber hug to a woman in need! I am so sorry that things are moving fast and feel so chaotic and emotionally charged. Whatever happens, I hope that you are able to feel at peace and move onward and upward.

Big hugs your way!

Andrea

Lilypie Maternity tickers


May Baby

<
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 5:20pm

Hi.

Photobucket
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 5:32pm
Big (((HUGS))) coming your way, Alyson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 1:33pm

Alyson, I am so so sorry you are going through this!!

Why would you and DH even discuss these things with her if she is such a bad influence on your family?

I think talking to a lawyer is a great idea--I used one to sort out my issues from losing my job and I think my situation was greatly helped by it.

Ugh, I just feel awful for you that you have to go through this at all. KUP and big (((HUGS))).

Silly Expecting Siggy

Photobucket
pregnancy due date

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:20pm

Thank you everybody for the love and support! Your all so sweet!

Adrienne, we were talking to her because the kids are staying with her right now. While we sort things out. It hasn't been very comfortable between Dh and I lately. My Aunt does live with her and the kids are still being watched by the same people. A family friend of ours who I love dearly and my cousins for the most part while my mom is at work.
It's really what is best for them right now and I know they are safe and in capable hands. I just prefer to keep my mom out of it when ever possible but I have to think of what is best for the kids in the situation right now and they don't need to be around Dh and I when we are fighting and upset.

We are going to be starting some counselling again here soon. Esp. Dh who will be going alone as well. He's been kissing my behind since all this started but it almost feels like to little too late. I am very upset. We obviously have a lot more issues to work on then I thought originally!
I am hoping to get to a resolution this week! I will keep you all updated. Thanks for the continued support! *hugs*





Photobucket


Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Photobucket

Photobucket
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucket


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 11:22am

Oh, gotcha. Well it probably is good to have time to focus on your and DH's relationship--that is definitely the most important thing for the kids in the long term.

I hope the counseling works out really well and you guys are able to resolve things. We will all be thinking of you and sending you the best!!

(((HUGS)))

Silly Expecting Siggy

Photobucket
pregnancy due date

Photobucket

Pages