Infertility

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Infertility
3
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 9:40am

I thought I would ask for some feedback about this on this board, since I know a few of members have struggled with infertility.

Obviously we're not talking about me and DH, but rather my brother.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 11:45am

Kate, it is really sad to me that your Dad would give your brother a hard time about this!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2008
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 12:04pm

I'm sorry your brother and SIL are dealing with IF.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 3:12pm

Hi Kate,

It's good that you are considering how your brother might feel about this. I know my husband says it is hard b/c he feels like it is his fault that I am unhappy (even though we have both male and female factors). As for what to do about godparents, one of the things that is hard about infertility is that you are genuinely happy for the people you care about when they have baby news b/c you love them and want to see them happy and it is fun to be an aunt/uncle for yourself. But along with this happiness comes intense feelings of sadness (another reminder of what you don't have), jealousy, and anger (why not me). And also isolation b/c you feel like no one else knows what you are feeling and the true dilemma are those that try to be understanding but then end up walking on eggshells around you. I know it must seem to my family that they can't win no matter what.

I would be honest with your brother and tell him just what you said here. They are special to you and want them to have a special relationship with your baby, but you don't want to add to their pain. Going through IF is about feeling happy and sad at the same time. Be honest and let them tell you if standing up during a baptism would be too much for them right now.



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