Me too! IL rant

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Me too! IL rant
14
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:12pm

So, DH was talking to his parents tonight. First, they want to come visit us in October on their way back from a trip to Europe. We would normally be okay with this, but 1) it's only about a month before I'm due, and 2) they'd get here on a Monday, and only stay for a couple of days.

#1 bugs us because who knows how I'll be doing at that point, and we'd much rather have them come AFTER Evan arrives (you know...so they can meet their grandchild and all). #2 bugs us because we'd either have to take those days off work (which we don't want to do - especially Kyle because he'll want to use his vacation days for when Evan comes) OR we'll just see them in the evenings --- what's the point of visiting if it's only going to be practically fleeting?

So, DH tells them we'd much rather miss this visit and them come in January to meet Evan. Well --- they say that they are thinking they might not want to come in January anymore. That they don't like the idea of traveling here during winter (they have mild winters where they live compared to here).

I'm just so in awe --- that they're going to let a little bit of snow/cold weather stop them from seeing their first grandchild??? We're both really saddened and disappointed by this. I mean, it's not like I want them to come for a month, but for them not to come at all is really upsetting.

Gah - hopefully they'll change their mind once they realize they'll be missing out on something big (especially since my parents are coming to visit over Christmas). Sigh.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 11:30am

Cassie - I cant believe that. I know my IL's when my niece was born barely saw her when she was really little, and then at 6 months or so when she started sitting up and moving around they can't see her enough. It's like they didn't know what to do with the little one, so maybe that's it, but still it seems strange.

Alyssa - what you were talking about with your SIL having a baby so close to you and them maybe thinking that will be their grandchild fix is a fear of mine as well. Granted we aren't that far away, only 30 miles but the BIL and SIL are only 10 miles away and since my niece is the first born grandchild I always wonder how my LO will be received from the IL's. I hope that in your case and mine that doesn't happen and that they can be apart of Evan's life.
I have been hearing so many wonderful things about Skype, so maybe you can do that with them until they can come and visit and maybe that will want them to come visit sooner :)









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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 12:38pm
Jess - yes, I think we'll have to start doing the Skype thing soon. I know the IL's use it with some other family members, so we can give it a try soon. That might help them get more excited too. Thanks for the suggestion!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:52pm
Oh Alyssa, I'm sorry you are feeling this!!
I think Jessica has a point... maybe seeing you and the belly "live" on skype will really get the message to them that an actual baby is on the way. For most people, knowing that someone is PG isn't the same as "really knowing", KWIM? Specially if you are far away.
I hope things improve!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 3:15pm

For me it's my family not my IL's. My IL's are great and I wish they were closer. My family bothers me. I didn't know if my family was going to come see my son after he was born. My mom doesn't drive long distances and my aunt and uncle were taking care of my grandmother. It ended up they brought my grandmother my mom stayed for 5 days and my brother and SIL took her home.

My IL's came from Florida to see him and I feel so bad they can't see him as they don't have the $ to come up here. My MIL is on disability and my FIL lost his job last year and he gets pension through I think this October and not sure what is after that. He's 59 and who is going to hire someone that close to retirement. So I feel bad for them. If we had the $ we'd buy them a house up here so they could be close to us and our son. Plus we'd have a babysitter that way.

We see my family maybe every couple of months sometimes more and they (I should say my aunt and uncle because those are the ones complaining not my mom or dad) complain we don't bring our son enough where as my IL's haven't seen him since he was 2 1/2 weeks old.

So I guess I should consider myself lucky that I have great IL's.

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