Need Advice about a Friend
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|Sun, 08-01-2010 - 10:50pm|
This might be long, so if you don't get all the way through it I understand....
I think I have talked about this friend before. She and I have known each other since we were 12 years old, so a LONG time. In high school we were best friends, until she started talking to guys on the internet. She drifted away from me for these guys, ran away and I was always there for her when the guys dropped her, or she came back.
She has always had back problems, scoliosis and a ton of surgeries, it's gotten worse over the past 10 years since High School. When I went to college we drifted away a bit, but were always there for each other. She got pregnant right out of high school and got married about 6 months after her daughter was born.
Over the past two or so years we have sort of drifted apart. She feels we drifted apart because of her medical problems. She has told me this past week that people don't understand (Which I don't), she has at least one surgery a year either on her Back or her endometrosis that she has. she is in chronic pain (from what she tells me). She lives at least 1 hour away from me and in the opposite direction of anything that we go to.Because she can't drive the only time I would see her is if I went up there.
Back last August, her and another friend and I had a sleep over. We were at our friends apartment. She was supposed to bring her wheel chair so that we could go shopping, but she didn't. We spent the entire weekend (a gorgeous weekend) in my friends apartment. She complained the entire time that she didn't have enough money, and she has spent too much when we were at dinner the night before. We made it out of the apartment to go to Cold Stone and wanted to eat there, but she wanted to go back to the apartment, so we did. I offered to pay for her treat, but she said no she wanted to get a pint of ice cream instead. Then her and her husband got in a fight over the phone about all the $$ she had spent. Her parents drove up 45 minutes to give her 80.00. Which she apparently then spent some of it on some water bottles for her kids that they didn't need.
She was walking around with her crutches all weekend, until Sunday morning when my other friend saw her walking with out them. Once she came out of the bedroom my friend with the crutches grabbed them and used them the rest of the day. We pretty much think she was faking the amount of pain she was in....but can't prove it and I don't care.
Thus we get to this week. She emailed us and apologized for not being around etc etc....and to me it's just another time when she now wants us in her life because it's convenient for her. She isn't there when you really need her, and she says it's because of her medical problems and maybe she is right maybe I don't understand. But I am at a point in my life, where I am getting sick of being there for her only when she needs me and not getting anything in return. She never initiates contact, it's always me emailing/calling her.
She thought she had cancer back in February and while the tests took 2 months to get back, we would email her and she wouldn't email us back. Then I emailed her about taking pictures for my pregnancy and she get's back to me in a day...it doesn't make sense.
Well we got in this huge fight, my other 3 friends have pretty much dropped her, and she emailed me and said I can't let our friendship go. My problem is, is this her victim self just trying to get back into my life, or does she really mean it this time...I just don't know what to do....GRRR why does this have to be so difficult.
if you made it this far, I applaud you and thank you...I know it's long.
TIA for any advice.
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