QOTW- How are you preparing your hubby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
QOTW- How are you preparing your hubby?
12
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 9:29am

Hi ladies!


So I was wondering how you all are preparing your husbands for the first child? I figure if you are TTC you are also talking about this


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 9:38am

Some friends of ours had a really rough first year (their child just celebrated their 2nd birthday a few months ago and everything has changed SO much for the better! They will probably start TTC for 2 very soon:)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 11:17am

I've just been sharing what I learn with Kyle as I go. He's been very open to wanting to know about everything, so that has helped a lot (at first I was hesitant to overdose him on baby talk, but he's been very interested and receptive!).

For TTC, I've told him about the signs of ovulation, and he wants to know when my body is doing what. Not in great detail or anything, but he does want me to tell him when I'm more fertile than not. He also has told me he wants to be there when I POAS.

As for PG and beyond - we have talked about the basics, but neither of us knows a ton about our choices, etc.. He bought me two books after my defense (Your Pregnancy Week by Week and The Baby Book), so I will start reading those now, and sharing stuff with him. I also plan on getting him a book (but nothing too long or detailed! LOL).

So, on that front, the only thing I've been doing is similar to what Ash said - letting him know about babies in general, like how they just cry, or how toddlers might act up even if you're the best parent in the world.

I think this will be a learning experience that we will both take on, instead of me informing him about everything - at least that's my hope! haha!



Thanks to Katie for my wonderful siggie!






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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Sun, 08-30-2009 - 12:13pm

Well, right at the beggining I explained him the basics of FAM, and he got it really fast. That´s how we both knew we were likely PG before the actual BFP.


Regarding PG, we bought a book, and did tons of research in internet.... Well, I did, and shared with him the bits I think are more interesting. I've been trying to wait a bit before I discuss labor and delivery in full detail with him, because he has proved that he freaks out esily with any risk factor....


About parenting... well, we have the books and everything, but honestly, just as it is happening with pregnancy, there's only "so much" that books can give you, and basically

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 12:31am

With our first, DH read the PG book with me some, or I read parts to him. I also got him a Dad & baby book that talked some about PG & then had little bits about different ages through the first year. We also took a Birth class together, which helped us be better prepared for the birth at least.


I think if I had it to do over again we'd read more about the first year. It was really hard for us with our very sensitive,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 7:28am

Have you ever read any of the positive discipline books by Jane Nelsen? I really, really like a lot of the general pricinples she focuses on and think they will fit in quite a bit with my ideal form of parenting.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 8:47am

Hi Ash,

I think it's great that you're trying to prepare yourself and Thomas! I think books are always a good idea, and I'd recommend a parentcraft/antenatal class, where you not only learn about labour but also the early stages of parenthood. Like, I think it really dawned on DH it might not all be easy when our antenatal teacher handed out "time tables" that real-life parents had written about their new born babies - he was like; Oh, the most sleep you get in one go are three hours?!
But then also as Noel said there's only so much you can prepare yourself; and it's probably a lot more difficult at first than you'd ever imagined. At that time I found it a huge relief to be able to talk to people who were going through the exact same thing (i.e. my antenatal class friends) - and your DH will have the other dads to talk to, which is also great!

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Thanks Katie for my lovely siggy!

Lilypie 1st Birthday PicLilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 10:00am

I LOOOOVE this subject.

I must preface this by saying me and DH are emotionally unattached. We are not the kind of people that get mushy or talk about feelings.

So I was unfazed when he didn't do things other DH's did to their pg wives, like talking to, rubbing, kissing the belly etc. I was unsure of how he would act when the baby was born, I didn't know how he would feel or if he would be "nuturing".

The second Daphne was born, they asked him t cut the cord and I looked over at him and knew everything changed. His face was masked in complete awe and I knew he was so smitten.

Now he talks to her, cuddles with her, gets jealous if she is soothed my me and not him. ;0)





Thank you to Dedi, Shelle, Tanya, & Elena for my super fab siggies!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2009
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 10:31am
So I am a BTDT mom and when DH and I had our first baby we were still boyfriend and girlfriend. It was not a planned pg by any means. It is reallly had getting a guy who is only 20 and didn't plan to have a baby so soon to get ready. You try to get them as ready as you can with books and classes, but the truth is for me that he was still in shock when it got closer. Don't get me wrong when our daughter was born he was the most attentive daddy you could find. I think that until they have that baby in their arms it still isn't real to them. I remember my DH telling me he would give her her first bath. He was jealous that I was bf because he wanted to feed her.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 1:01pm

So was this a class that you took before Teddy was born?


Because we will be doing an 8 week 2 hour weekly class that will cover pregnancy, birth, and the initial weeks afterwards together.


There is a one day intensive class covering baby care but I have to be honest and say that I am not really interested since I am already "decided" on so many things... however I think that maybe we will do it if the birth class ends up only really covering birth...



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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 09-01-2009 - 2:07pm

This is a great question!

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