QOTW: How Often do you and DH/SO DTD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
QOTW: How Often do you and DH/SO DTD?
30
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 4:12pm

Inspired by another thread, haha . . .obviously only answer questions that you are comfortable sharing about, and skip the rest!

How often do you and DH do the deed?

If it were solely up to DH, how often would you?

If it were solely up to you, how often would you?

Has this changed since you first got together?

Has it been different at different times in your relationship?

Do you usually/always/never have the big O from DTD?

Any tips for the difficult Oers out there?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 5:00pm
Well, you certaily have a way with words woman!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 4:59pm
so if I understand correctly, DH's pubic bone would be doing the job, right??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 1:26pm

Mari- Basically I have DH lean forward enough so that he is giving me enough clitoral pressure, and then I just grind away :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 10:47pm

...so missionary actually works best for me.

How do you do that? I'm exactly the opposite, the missionary is the only one that doesn'd do it for me, but I'd really like it to!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2007
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 9:41pm

How often do you and DH do the deed?

~Em~

Mommy to Nate and expecting a little girl Nov. 2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 8:14pm

Hi Ruthie! I just buzzed through your blog and I am very excited for you and DH! I hope those little ones snuggle in and stick!

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 3:44pm

This is an interesting topic

How often do you and DH do the deed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2002
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 7:13pm

How often do you and DH do the deed? Since we started again after DS, every 2 weeks ish... DF did not believe that exclusively BFing was good enough BC. I got Mirena inserted on Thursday and we have yet to DTD because of how busy we've been the past couple days.

If it were solely up to DH, how often would you? I'm not sure anymore lol. Probably every other day? It's been hard to gauge since the middle of my PGcy. I think he would want to more but sometimes he wants more of a quickie and I think he worries about disappointing me because since we DTD so infrequently these days I like to have longer sessions.

If it were solely up to you, how often would you? Every other day ideally.

Has this changed since you first got together? Yes, when we first got together I was 17 and he was 20 so we averaged at least every day for the first year and a half or so.

Has it been different at different times in your relationship? Yes, it slowed down to every other day for a while. Then, about 2 years ago we were having some problems so it went to about once a week, not because either of us was withholding but because we just weren't feeling it. Also, during the 2nd half of my PGcy it was about once a week/ 2 weeks because he was weirded out because he knew it was a boy so it was actually like a person lol. Plus, I was so big, most positions were awkward.

Do you usually/always/never have the big O from DTD? It really depends on the position and how much foreplay. If I'm on top, I almost always do. In other positions I have to manually stimulate, and sometimes I want to and sometimes I just enjoy the act. DF was the first person I have Oed with, because he was the first to try super hard. For a while, it took some oral play, then we used a vibrating ring, then one day about 6 months in I just felt like I was so close and once I just let it go, it happened.

Any tips for the difficult Oers out there? Like PP have said, know yourself, know what it takes for you. Try not to worry too much, tell DH/SO what you want, use toys if you're open to them. Girl on top helps me a lot for clitoral stimulation as I can move the way I want to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 8:16pm
Erica, can I ask what the name of the book is? Cause I definatly feel that way at times. That I am not taking care of my husband the way I should be since I have not had the want to.

 Cassie 

     

Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 4:28pm
Mari - Sure, pm me!

Also DH and I have rarely had romantic movie/romance novel sex. I find the connection for us comes from being deeply vulnerable and open with each other, usually while having raunchy, crazy sex that to an outsider would appear the opposite of loving sometimes! The looking lovingly into one another's eyes while we whisper sweet nothings thing just doesn't do anything for me/us. It feels contrived, you know?

Occasionally we have had sex like that and in the moment it can feel nice, but really for me, it's knowing that I can be utterly open and honest about my desires, and with my body and that my husband will accept it and love it and honor it, that makes me feel incredibly connected to and in love with him.

I agree though, there are no "right" numbers. Peoples' libidos vary widely and every relationship has different phases/stages where sex is more or less important.

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