religious crisis

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
religious crisis
37
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 3:27pm

I've been thinking about this post fore months maybe... a little embarrased to put all this feelings in words. I've said many times that I've met sme true friends in this board... so friends, help me out here!

I come from a catholic family. Not strict catholics, but we did go to mass every sunday, and I've always tried to live a Christian life. As a teen and a young adult I was really active in the youth groups, and mi parish was a huge part of my life. but then I got older (past 25) and I felt less and less comfortable with the kids. That was the end of my "involved" years... And I discovered that without that, going to church became kind of boring.

Then I met DH, and although he is also a catholic, he is more of the kind that goes to church only "when he feels like it". wich is probably once a month. So instead of being obvious, now we had to "plan" going to mass and make room for it on the weekend schedule. Then we had kids, and the option is to take them there and suffer the entire time because they are fussy or bored. Or leave them with grandparents... it doesn't sound so complicated, but it is to me. Most of the times it`s easier to just not go.... And since to Catholics, skipping mass is a sin, meaning that you need to go to confession or else you can't take communion.... It's been two years now since the last time I had communion. It's hard to explain, but without it you feel like an outsider in the Mass.

And I feel like I'm drifting apart. Badly. And doubts are taking root in my soul. Sometimes I think that it's like a garden that's not been watered in along time. Other times I think that maybe I was "under the influence" and now I'm seeing things clearer.

Specifically about God's existence, or maybe not his existence, more about whether he really cares about us or not.

Motherhood changed me. Once I knew the fierce love a parent can feel for a child, I just can't believe a loving and omnipotent God would let a parent loose a child. I just can't wrap my mind around it. I remember answering those same questions to those kids I used to teach at the youth groups and saying things about "God's will" and about "man's free will", and I feel like such a liar. Because when it come's down to the naked truth, someone lost a loved one and God didn't stop it...

I want to believe in Him again, I truly do. And maybe this is just a crisis and I'll come out of it with a stronger more mature faith, but right now all I feel is that I'm loosing it.

I know many of you have a strong faith, and maybe others are struggling like me. I'd really like to know your feelings on this. Maybe sharing this with you will help me.

Thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 4:53pm
Mari, sorry I haven't been on the blog yet. The google account I have is one that I use for work. It's not technically mine, so I'm trying to figure out how I want to do it. I'll get there soon!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 7:41pm
I'm sorry Kate, the e-mail had a couple spaces on it and I assumed they were typos, I "fixed" it and that's probably the reason you were not notified. I'll try again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 12:18pm
Mari - Did you get my PM? I haven't seen a link or anything come through in my e-mail.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2001
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:13am
Awesome! I've been working on something with my kids that I feel is really great!

Jules - Happily married and Momma to DS, DD and expecting our Caboose Baby 11/24/2012


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 9:29am
Perfect! Thanks, Mari! I'll get started working on something soon since I anticipate being busy in the next few weeks. :smileyhappy:
by sara photo sigbysara.jpg
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 7:39pm

Ladies, the first text is up! Sorry it took me this long...

Also, most of you girls sent me your email addresses, I added you, wich means you will recieve an e-mail asking you for confirmation or something like that.

Jules and Liz already did it, so they are now co-authors. You are up next week Jules, and Liz the next one!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 7:32pm
Alison, just PM me with you e-mail and I'll add you to as author

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 9:36am

Same here, I'd like to participate, too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2008
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 12:29am
Wow I lost track of this thread but I would love to be included in the texts blogger thig as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 11:29am
Looks great Mari!!!
PMed you my e-mail.
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