ruth (ruthieb85)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
ruth (ruthieb85)
5
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 8:14pm

i'm really sorry to bother you with a personal post like this, but i was hoping you could give me a little advice with my friend...i'd posted about her health problems in the PG section. also not sure if this is the best place to post this, but i couldn't think of anywhere else that you'd see it, since it's not related to TTC or pregnancy directly.

first let me just say that you and your DH are in my prayers that your appointment with the urologist goes well and you can get moving forward...i lurk on the 6+ thread all the time and pray for all you gals to find answers and BFPs sooner rather than later. i also hope you find more clarity on handling discussing IF with your church group and family...i can't offer a lot of real help there other than P&PT, since i'm really a private person myself and wouldn't even know where to begin.

my question is sort of pregnancy-related...my friend is pregnant, due in february, but she had two seizures a couple weeks ago that they're thinking are epileptic. she tells me that the anti-seizure meds they've put her on are only safe because she's so far along in the pregnancy...since her "jr" (as we refer to him) is pretty much formed, just doing his last bit of growing, as she's 34w now, the meds don't pose any threat to him, but if she had gotten pregnant while on them or had to take them earlier on, jr would probably have birth defects because of it. they're not going to find out a whole lot more until after jr comes though...she's scheduled to see and neurologist and get an MRI in march. she apparently had seizures as a little little kid (<3yo) that they think left scarring on her brain.

i guess i'm wondering what your approach to TTC with epilepsy is. i know i might be jumping the gun asking about this when she's got a healthy baby on the way, but i know how sad she is as the prospect that this is the only baby she may have because of this, if she has to be on meds or if pregnancy plus the scarring is what's causing the epilepsy (if it's not purely idiopathic...is that the right word?). is there a drug that's safer for pregnancy (that she can't use right now for whatever reason), or do you have to go med-free?

also, any tips on the best ways to be supportive for her with this condition in general (baby aside) would be greatly appreciated. she gave all of us quite a scare for a little while, and even now we're afraid to think she's out of the woods completely. (her second seizure burst some capillaries in her lungs and she had to be sedated on a respirator for a few days after being airlifted to another hospital.) i know she's really worried too. i'm a private person, like i said, so i have a greater tendency to have one or two really close friends rather than lots of casual ones, and she's the best friend i have (possibly that i've ever had), and i worry for her and want to do right by her.

of course, if i'm being too forward asking about this or if you don't want to answer, i apologize, and of course you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. i hope i'm not, and again, i'm really sorry if i am, and i don't want you to feel obligated to respond if you don't want to, so i'll understand if i don't hear from you. i think you can email me though my profile if you want too.

thanks ruth, and best of luck to you! i will keep lurking and praying.








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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 12:02pm
I'm not Ruth, but wanted to give you some information.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 12:39pm

i don't remember what she said they have her on...something that begins with a 'd'. right now they're trying to work out insurance issues, since she was on unpaid leave from her job because she was put on modified bedrest at 14w, so they have a lot of worries right now, and i just really want to be a good friend, lol. i feel like the first step to that is getting as much information as i can without having to pester her about it, since she doesn't know much herself at this point. and i know my friend...she's wanted children for so so long and has had so many complications from the beginning, so i know that even if she isn't saying it because she KNOWS how blessed she is that this baby is doing good and should be healthy, it's there in the back of her mind that she may not ever have another and making her sad. she and her husband are both from large families, and it's always been in her plans to have two or three kids...not large, but more than one.

thanks for the info heather. i'll see if i can't figure out what the name of that prescription is...i'll look around, and i'll know it when i see it, i just can't recall off the top of my head.








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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 2:13pm
It sounds like she is on dilantin then.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 4:34pm

Hey Carly,


I'm glad your friend has gone this far into her pregnancy with a healthy baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 6:32pm

thanks ruth...it means a lot to me that you responded. i think i most worry about saying something insensitive or assuming she can still do something that she can't (although it doesn't seem like most of that should be a problem, i worry about sticking my foot in my mouth)...the only restriction i know of for her is that she's not allowed to drive until she's gone 6mo without a seizure. so far it's been 10 days. ;) and i think a lot of it is just that it's been so much, all at once, right before the holidays, while they're both unemployed and without insurance, and she's really down in general and fearing the worst, and i hate to see her like this.

lots of P&PT that the new year brings you and bijon many good things!

heather - dilantin, that's the one. that's good to know that it's safe for lactation...she was just worrying about that last night (but was more worried about straightening out her insurance dilemma and hasn't had time to ask her doctor about it). thanks for your help!

it really does mean a lot to me that both of you took the time to respond to this...just by circumstance, i've never really been close to anyone with any kind of chronic condition except myself (and IBS doesn't even hold a candle to the scariness neurological disorders), definitely not something i know so little about, so i'm a little bit at a loss and not sure where to start, lol. maybe my best bet is just to tread normally and follow her lead when it comes to this. i know i hate it when i feel like people are walking on eggshells around me, so i don't want to do that to her either. i guess it will be a work in progress for a little while while she finds her own comfortable place in all this.

thanks again to both of you for your help!








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